https://wolfpack-imagines.tumblr.com/
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Jacob Black was insanely, obsessively, painfully in love with Bella Swan, and it sort of killed you on the inside.
He and his father were family friends, which meant that the two of you had spent a lot of time together as kids. You were close — really close — so when you suddenly realized in your sophomore year that your feelings for him ran deeper than friendship, you'd expected him to feel the same way.
Only he didn't.
You didn't see what was so special about Bella. Not only was she super hung over on her previous boyfriend who had up and left her, but she was also only really using Jacob as the rebound guy. That was all he was to her, but even if it was so pathetically obvious, he was somehow okay with being strung on like that.
"Bella's cool," Quil defended when you voiced your complaints to him.
"Ugh, not you, too!" you groaned.
Embry shook his head and laughed. "(Y/N)'s just jealous," he explained, "because she's super into Jacob."
"Am not!" you protested, even though you knew there was no way you could convince Embry. He knew you almost as well as Jacob did — if not better, sometimes.
And then Embry got a tattoo and cut his hair short, and ditched all his friends for Sam Uley's gang, which seemed to have a jarring effect on Jacob. He kept telling you about the dread in his gut that seemed to tug at him in warning whenever Sam looked at him. Jacob was convinced he was next.
He wasn't wrong.
One day, the two of you were in his garage together, talking and laughing about absolutely nothing, and then the next, he was unable to take visitors because he was sick, which was a bunch of bullshit, really, because shortly after, you saw him hanging out with Sam's gang. Jacob was gone, too, just like Embry.
"He can't talk right now," Billy would say whenever you called.
Yeah, because he's too busy kissing up to Sam Uley, you scoffed silently.
You couldn't help but wonder if this was the way he was treating Bella, too. Or was she more important than you? Did he still keep in touch with her, despite being part of Sam Uley's cult?
Things like that made you feel very insecure.
But luck seemed to finally make its way to your side — you stumbled across Sam's gang as you made your way back from a lonely walk on the beach. They were rowdy, as usual, and even Jacob looked somewhat happy. It stung to know that he was perfectly okay ignoring you.
"Hey!" you shouted.
It got all of the boys' attention. You noticed Sam wasn't there with them, but that didn't make them any less intimidating. Jared and Paul had been brainwashed first, and the influence Sam had on them probably ran deeper than that which he held on Embry and Jacob.
And then Jacob's eyes locked on yours and it was like someone had pulled the ground from under your feet. A spasm of panic ran down your spine; what if he didn't want anything to do with you anymore? He seemed so distraught and caught off-guard by you being there. He probably thought he'd made his desire to not be friends anymore clear enough. I was just too stupid to get it, you thought.
"Jacob?" Embry touched his shoulder softly, as if afraid to break him.
Jacob didn't look away from you. He was frozen in place, like the hands of time were moving for everyone else but him. There was something in his eyes that you couldn't believe was actually there, a softness that seemed to stab at your heart over and over again.
This was your best friend — the boy you'd fallen in love with — and after years and years of being there for each other, he didn't even have anything to say to you anymore.
"That's fine," you spat, voice breaking like glass. "Don't say anything. Don't pick up the phone when I call. Don't let me know that you're okay. Ignore me, Jacob. Because I deserve that after all we've been through."
You jostled past him and as you walked away, Jacob seemed to finally snap out of it. He called after you, voice thick and raw with something you couldn't identify, but it was your turn to ignore him.
--
Surprisingly, Jacob seemed to disappear from your thoughts after your confrontation. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off your chest – almost. There was no denying that the greater part of you still ached without him but letting him go was the only thing you could do. You convinced yourself it was better that way – if you didn't waste any more time on him – because it would save you the heartbreak. Though, really, your heart was already shredded from everything he'd done. Still, you were dead set on protecting whatever bits of it were left.
It was your turn to ignore his calls. Your positions had reversed instantly after you'd yelled at him; Jacob was now the one pestering your parents endlessly with calls asking for them to let you talk to him, as if they were the reason you had cut him off. It would have been almost funny if you weren't so upset.
What you hadn't expected was for Jacob to show up at your school.
He stood in front of his dirt bike, a gift from Bella. Thinking of her left you with a sour taste in your mouth. It was bad enough that she was in your Calculus class; she was a constant reminder of Jacob Black and the things that could have been.
Jacob wore a tight black shirt that accentuated every muscle in his torso. His arms were tense, his native tattoo on display. Your heart skipped a beat – or two, or three – when his brown eyes landed on you.
Behind you, you heard Bella's voice.
"Jacob? What are you doing here – why haven't you answered my calls?"
So you weren't the only one he'd been ignoring. But you were certainly the only one he'd bothered to try and make amends with. You couldn't help but revel in that.
"I'm not here for you, Bella," Jacob said, his voice thicker than usual. His eyes were still fixated on you, solemn and beautiful in a morose way. The look on his face reminded you of Sam Uley and you didn't like it at all.
You shook your head, knowing exactly why he'd come to see you. His apologizes meant nothing to you. You'd done everything for the boy – been everything for the boy – and he'd always pushed you to the side for Bella. You weren't going to have any of that anymore.
"(Y/N), please," Jacob pleaded. "You have to listen to me."
A crowd had started to form. Bella was now beside you, her face settled into the same expression of pain she'd worn since her boyfriend had dumped her and left town. Jacob had been her best friend too, so you knew exactly what kind of agony she'd gone through trying to figure out why he'd suddenly stopped talking to her, but you still couldn't sympathize with her. She'd stolen him from you. Jacob had been yours first. She'd ignored him for months because of how in love she'd been with her boyfriend, and now that he'd skipped town, Jacob was the rebound.
It was completely and utterly selfish and Jacob deserved better.
"Jake, why won't you talk to me?" she asked.
When he looked at her, his face was void of the affection you'd grown so accustomed to seeing him display for her. Even Bella was shocked, her eyebrows puckered, lips quivering.
"I have nothing to say," Jacob told her.
How good it felt to see him hurt Bella. If that made you a sadist, it didn't matter. She'd destroyed him so many times that it was only fair for her to be treated the same way. It was almost enough to forgive Jacob.
"Let's go for a ride," you said to him. Jacob gave you a grin, the kind he only ever reserved for you, and got onto his bike. He handed you a black helmet and though you felt awfully dorky, you put it on and climbed on behind him. You made a show out of wrapping your arms around his waist, ensuring Bella watched the whole time.
And then Jacob sped out of the parking lot.
"So, are you going to tell me why you've been acting like an ass?"
Jacob forced a laugh. He started wheeling his bike down the uneven path to his garage. You followed, hands in your pockets, trying very hard to act casual around him. Like your heart wasn't beating a million times a minute.
"Yeah." He paused, settling his bike beside his prided Rabbit. "I wanted to tell you everything, (Y/N), I really did. But Sam said I couldn't and an Alpha's orders always get obeyed whether we want to or not." You were about to open your mouth but he held his hand up. "Hold on, I'll explain."
He opened the passenger door to his Rabbit and motioned for you to take a seat. He kept pacing in front of you, almost nervously.
"You remember the legends of our tribe?" he asked. You nodded. "Well, they're a little more real than you think."
While Jacob told you about the Quileute wolves and how he was one of them, you sat there with your breath hitched in your throat, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone string up a sentence. Until then, his tribe's legends had been only that – legends. It had never once occurred to you that they could hold more truth that meets the eye.
"So, you get it now?" he asked. "Why I couldn't tell you?"
You could only nod because your voice seemed to have left you completely. There was so much you wanted to ask him, so much you wanted him to show you, but your mind was racing at the speed of light and your mouth couldn't possibly keep up with it.
It surprised you at how easily you believed him. Any normal person would have been riddled with doubt but deep down in your bones, you knew he was telling you nothing but the truth. It didn't sound outrageous or outlandish – it made perfect sense and you couldn't explain why.
Jacob's eyebrows furrowed. "You okay? You look a little pale."
Swallowing hard, you straightened. "I'm fine. Just a little shocked, that's all."
"Yeah, tell me about it." He sat across from you on a spare tire, stretching out his long legs.
You edged forward in your seat. "So, if you couldn't tell anyone, how come you told me?"
"We're allowed to tell our imprints." He winced when he saw your confusion at the word. "I guess that doesn't mean much to you."
"Not really."
That was when Jacob really started to look nervous. He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his gaze from yours as if gathering enough courage to continue. You reached out and touched his shoulder, feeling your pulse quicken when he placed his hand over yours.
"It's like a – like a soulmate, I guess," Jacob said. "But it's also a lot more. Nothing – no one – else matters but them." He sighed shakily. "You become everything they need you to be. You'd do absolutely anything for them because what you feel for them is deeper than love – deeper than anything you could ever feel for someone."
You tried to remember how to breathe, watching as Jacob became a blurry silhouette through your tears. You hadn't meant to start crying – you weren't even sure whether you were happy or sad or anything in between.
"(Y/N)," he whispered gently as if afraid to break you. "I'm so, so sorry."
You blinked and wiped at your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. "It's okay," you said.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"A little." You gave him a little smile. "You've been an awful friend, you know that?"
"I'll make it up to you," he said. "I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life."
Jacob grinned warmly, taking your hand and lacing his fingers together with yours.
You knew that was a promise he intended to keep.