I hope you enjoy 🥰
Im very excited about the next few chapters (and this one) 🤪
"I don't think I could do it." I explain to Luisa who only laughs and shakes her head at me.
"It was five minutes, we didn't even go fast." Luisa laughs at my clear fear. "You would be fine, you need to try." I only shake my head at the suggestion. She'd had an exciting trip to the track with Lando this morning on his little scooter he's been knocking around Monaco on. The thought of it was quite funny but he loved it!
"I still wouldn't trust Lando not to kill me, you're braver than me." I wouldn't, I know Lando would go too fast just to scare me and wind me up. We'd end up not speaking for an hour after. With Lu, I'm not sure she's treated quite the same way. She'd had an adventurous week, already having been driven around in a formula 1 car on another trip - I think I'd pass away experiencing that. So I think I'll stick to watching the cars going fast rather than hopping inside of them.
Whilst Luisa was driven to the track in style, the rest of us walked here, and there's quite a few guests of Lando this week so it took a little while for the small crowd of us to arrive. Myself, Mum, Dad and Max made the short but (slightly) sweaty walk to the track this morning to support Lando. At lunchtime Oliver, Savannah and Mila arrived, headphones tucked over Mila's delicate little ears and sun kissed grins plastered on their faces.
They'd made a last minute detour from their honeymoon in Mykonos to come and see Lando - also known as checking up on him. Everyone has been so concerned about him this week, rightly so, meaning that everyone is here. I could never say our family isn't there when we need them.
The problem with Ol and Sav arriving so last minute is that they couldn't book a hotel room in packed Monaco, so they're packed into Lando's apartment along with Luisa and I aswell as Mum and Dad. There's only two bedrooms (was three, but he turned one into a freaking games room). Thus meaning, that I was quickly thrown out onto the sofa. A choice I'm thrilled about, you can imagine.
Especially since Lando hadn't been sleeping well at all with his illness. It's resulted in him attempting to creep around the apartment (poorly), watching films louder than they maybe should be played or huffing as he loses the video games he's playing. So I haven't been sleeping great either and have ended up spending most of the nights dozing through old movies with him or watching him play through sleepy eyes on his Xbox. He's just not the quietest person.
Luisa and I let our attention fall back on the track below us as FP2 begins, Daniel pulls out of the garage. We watch him fly out the pit lane as people around us cheer and yell in support. Luisa's eyes fall back to the big screen in front of us to find Lando's name, I follow her gaze. He's only about to set his first time, it doesn't make much of a difference for Sunday but it's still a good gauge of how the weekend will go. She's chewing nervously on her bottom lip.
"Are you going out later?" Luisa asks and I hum tilting my hand a little in front of me. As if weighing up my options. With my bed being the sofa at Lando's I don't really fancy waking up hungover with a pounding head. Equally I know he plans to lie on said sofa and watch all the Indy 500 build up and that's an option I'm not feeling too enthusiastic about either.
"I don't think so...maybe?" I know where the party/parties are. Charles and Carlos both sent me texts with the details. "I haven't decided yet." I explain my voice a little uncertain as our eyes flick over to the big screen beside us.
The problem (I have) with formula one is that it's not a massively spectator friendly sport. Even being at the track you need a screen nearby to see what's happening elsewhere. Of course there's always something to be looking at, but the main action is easily missed because they're just freaking fast.
I crane my neck over the balcony as Charles shoots past in his Ferrari. We spoke earlier and he was just about as tense as a person can get with nerves. I gave him a hug and tried my best to assure him that the weekend is his and even being here is an achievement, he only agreed absentmindedly at my words. I may as well have been telling him about what I ate for dinner last night, he just didn't care. All he wants is to win at home, the race means that much to him it's written all over his face.
It's as I'm watching Charles's car shoot around the corner that I hear Lu gasp. My stomach drops at the noise as my neck snaps back towards her. Her eyes wide and mouth a little open. I hate that noise around here.
With nervous eyes I turn to the screen we had previously been searching and there's an orange car hugged into the wall. "Oh shit." The whispered words fall out of my mouth as I process the sight displayed. The front wings are slathered along the track, with the wheels of the car splayed in angles they shouldn't be. The car's firmly smashed into the barriers which are thankfully made of the softer tech pro mats rather than steel or concrete.
I gasp, needing the air forced into my lungs just to steady myself. I feel sick looking at the sight, Daniel is nodding his head, his multicoloured swirled helmet bobbing around a little in the car. "Is be okay?" I ask Luisa, my eyes glued to the screen voice quiet. I'm surprised that the words can leave me. Engineers downstairs are groaning at the sight and a few are shouting around.
"Yeah, he's okay - I think." She mumbles back looking around the area the two of us are stood in for some kind of sign Daniel is okay. I could be sick.
I take it back, the biggest problem I have with formula one is that the risks are so great. A tiny minuscule mistake can have life changing impacts.
The shot widens and the sight of debris littering the track makes my eyes widen. When the shot returns back Dan is climbing out of the car and I breathe a sign of relief. I wish I was with Mum downstairs able to hear the team radios. Able to hear his voice and hear that he's okay for myself. It would save me a lot of anxiety. They wouldn't let the big crowd of us hang around the pit though and I'm cursing Ollie for making an appearance today.
The replay repeats in front of us as the session is red flagged. Daniel came zipping around the corner and the car just...didn't move how he thought it would, I guess? I cringe watching it speed down towards the wall, grinding into the metal edges of the track before slamming into the wall at the next corner. My stomach flips when the footage cuts out at the impact.
"I texted your Mum and she said Danny told the engineers he's okay over radio." Luisa explains quickly, her fingers moving at a fast rate against the screen of her phone. I feel tension in my shoulder dissipate at the reassurance. Thank the universe for Luisinha! I thank her quietly , feeling the stress in my body unravel at the confirmation.
It takes five minutes but Daniel eventually comes walking towards the pit lane. He has his helmet in his hands and waves to the fans that call his name with a tentative smile instead of his usual bright one. The expression makes my chest ache a little. Daniel will be wounded by this, he was so looking forward to this weekend. There's still time for it to go to plan though, I have every hope.
As soon as he's back in the garage beneath us the camera's are shoved back towards him. He's chatting avidly to the engineers, pointing to screens with his face firm and body tense. The screen in front of us is jumping between the cars returning to the pit lane and Daniel's concerned face, I can't rip my eyes from it.
Clearing the track takes longer than expected. It's at least twenty or even thirty minutes until the session continues, at which point I've just about wound myself up enough about the situation. I've been shifting my weight around frustrated for around forty minutes when I make up my mind. I unscrew the cap of my water bottle, downing the remainder of the liquid before taking a final look out on the track as Lando shoots back out of the pit lane.
"I'm going to see Daniel." I announce to Luisa, she doesn't look phased by my announcement, simply nods her head absentmindedly. She's more invested in this session than I am right now, I can't focus on a thing. "I'll meet you back here in five." I tell Luisa who waves me off, not caring at this point if I'm there or not. Her action makes me laugh quietly to myself.
Nerves build inside of me as I throw my now empty water bottle into the bin, pushing open a door to get down into the garage. A member of security checks my pass before nodding and allowing me to pass. I make my way around the paddock to get where I want to be. Where I need to be. It's a route I've become familiar with around the various tracks we've visited. Each time the layout slightly different but similar enough that I can still find where I'm needed.
The thrum of cars echoes around me and people I pass in the hallway smile and wave at me. I try my best to respond but my tunnel vision only lets me focus on one thing. Daniel. I really hope he's free, or at very least where I'm hope he'll be. I just want to see him, in person, then I'll be fine.
At least that's what I'm telling myself.
I'm back outside the familiar room with the blue '3' printed on its door and Daniel's name splashed along it. I'm fizzing with nerves, it's been so long since I did this, last time I did this it didn't end well. I suddenly don't care about all of that anymore though.
My hand lifts to knock on the door, it's firm, the noise more confident than I feel. My stomach is still twisted uncomfortably, despite knowing from seeing him on the screens and hearing from Lu that he's okay. What if he's just saying what people want to hear? Nerves swirl until I hear a click.
It's from the door and I can almost feel my legs wanting to give out from under me. It feels like an eternity until the door opens and reveals Daniel's shirtless. He looks a little confused when his eyes settle on me, and I don't blame him after the last few weeks. I sag with relief in my spot seeing him in front of me. He's here, he's okay. He is okay.
"Amber...." Something settles in me at hearing my name from his lips. It feels comforting. It feels like something I need to hear from his lips again and again. "H-hey, come in." His words are soft, slightly stuttered and a little resigned. I can still hear the cars zooming around outside but I don't really care right now. As soon as I step inside, the door is clicked closed and locked behind me.
Before I can't think about it too much or talk my way out of it I find myself throwing my body on Daniel's. My arms wind around his strong neck, pulling him close to me. He shuffles in his spot, letting his strong arms wrap around me, returning the hug. My head is snuggled into the crook of Daniel's neck, my face pressed against his bare skin as his left hand snakes around my waist holding me in place. So close to him that I'm crushed against his hot bare chest.
"Hey, I'm okay," Daniel comforts, his right hand coming up to tangle into my hair, weaving through the strands there. He's cradling me like I'm the most precious and gentle thing - emotionally I feel it right now. My heart flutters in my chest from his gentle and caring touch and words. "I'm okay." He repeats in shushes as I inhale the smell of his skin, settling under his touch. He smells like hot rubber and smoke, no doubt from the car earlier and the fumes of the crash. It's not his usually woody scent that I'm used to. "Ambs I'm okay." He repeats in a hushed tone, this time I'm not sure if it's a reassurance to me or him. He even sounds a little entertained as he says the words. The pads of his fingers rub in small circles against the back of my head, it's the most comforting thing I've ever experienced.
"Are you sure?" My voice is quiet but a little echoed because of my position. I didn't mean to sound so distressed, my mind just always goes to the worst places with these things. Daniel's cradling my head against him so softly it makes me feel like I could cry with relief. He's here. He's okay.
"I'm sure, I'm fine - I promise." Daniel comforts, his lips pressing against the side of my head. I can still feel the press of his lips long after they're gone. Comfort fills me as I press myself into his body firmly once more. Daniel puffs out a breathy laugh at my action his hands dropping from my body and reaching for my arms. "Please don't worry about me. It wasn't bad, I just got a bit of a shock. I'm fine." Daniel almost begs, his thumbs rubbing circles on the bare skin of my arms. He unwraps my limbs from him, brushing my body off him.
My head lifts from his warm skin slowly. Eyes flickering a little to focus on him, I tucked my head so firmly against his skin that my vision has blurred. "Are you okay?" Daniel asks and I nod my head slowly, cautious. What a stupid question, I'm not the one who just slammed into a wall. I'm great now I've seen him and I know he's okay. "Good." He comforts before pulling me back close to him.
We don't say more than this, just stand in silence, holding one and other. His touch burns my skin through the material of my shorts and shirt. It feels too intimidating to say anything, everything between us too big in this exact moment. The comforting touch could be easily ruined by annoyed words, accusations or confused questions. So we stay in place for what feels like hours, but I know is minutes, until we're interrupted.
There's a knock on the door, as there always seems to be when I'm in these rooms. Daniel sighs at the noise, my eyes flicker to the door as the handle is pressed down. It doesn't open though, inside I'm almost sniggering at Dan, someone has learned from previous experience. I'm thankful for it. Daniel sighs heavily almost rolling his eyes, he must know what the people on the other side of the door are wanting. "I really wish I could stay Amber, but I need to go and do press." Daniel huffs, inconvenienced by
"No, yeah...sorry." My apologetic voice is quiet, I'm disappointed that our time alone has once again been cut short. I untangle myself from his arms, feeling cooler, more alone stood in front of him. More vulnerable.
"Don't say sorry." Daniel corrects me quickly, sending me a warning look. I only nod, swallowing heavily. "Promise me we'll speak later." Daniel says as the knocking on the door continues. With another roll of his eyes he calls out 'okay' and the knocking ceases. "Are you free tonight?" I nod at his words. I hadn't settled on any plans, this week has been exceptionally quiet with Lando being ill, there's been no socialising for anyone. If it's the choice between watching race build up, attending a party where I know one person and seeing Daniel I know which option I'm choosing.
If tonight is the night that we can finally talk about all of this, then tonight is when it's happening. We need to finish what we started at Ollie's wedding and we both know it. It's been put off for a sickening amount of time already.
"Where?" I ask wanting the details ironed out now so neither of us can back out of it. Daniel pauses in his spot thinking for a moment.
"Where are you staying?" He asks grabbing his McLaren shirt and pulling it over his head. I do my best to not think about how good he looks pulling the material over his head.
"Lando's place." Daniel nods at my words humming to himself. I know him and Lando don't live far from each other, he's calculating a route, or some place close. "I'm on the sofa." I say with a small laugh and shake of my head, trying to lighten the mood a little. Daniel doesn't find it funny. He only narrows his eyes in my direction at the words looking concern.
"The couch?" I nod in confirmation to his question. Daniels eyes are wide, his face disbelieving as he narrows his eyes at me. "Why the hell are you on the couch?" He asks quickly irritated by the location.
"It's a long story." I shrug with a sigh, all things considering this year I really can't complain. Daniel looks confused by my words, and even tuts to himself quietly in frustration, but I don't really have time to explain. He has things he needs to be doing.
"We'll sort that out later." He huffs with a shake of his head. He looks unimpressed with my bed for the last few nights. "Is my place good? I'll text you details." Daniel explains, his words quick, I don't even get a chance to agree to the location. I'm almost glad of the intrusion by the person on the other side of the door. It forced us to agree to do this today, later. The swallow I find is heavy as Daniel tucks his phone into the back pocket of his jeans.
He pauses in his spot, hovering for what feel like hours. That is until he leans in, his lips pressing against my cheek. The contact makes me feel warm and I press myself into his touch, eyes fluttering closed as something swirls inside of my stomach. It's simple, it's not even an entirely intimate action but it feels like the most personal move he could've made. My skin prickles and when Daniel pulls away I'm a little breathless.
"Later." He promises, a nervous smile on his face before he flicks open the lock to the door and pulls it open once more. Nerves settle in my stomach at the plans.
———-
Hehe are we ready???
My babies🥰