I stared out through the glass at the blurring pine trees and private street as the car drove on. We had left the mansion an hour and a half ago. I've been informed that while it was being fixed, we all were going to another backup house for three weeks and a half. It could be less or more, depending on how long it takes.
When I first woke up, I was lying in a van seat and Salvo was there to calm me down before I freaked. I was yet accustomed to being outside, especially with the day bright with the sun. It was too bright for my unused eyes and I barely could open my eyes. They'd covered me with a blanket to block out the light and someone carried me to this black jeep. The windows were tinted black with a push of a button. Elijah had stayed inside with me to keep me company until they were ready to go. Ace, Alex, and Noah rode in another car, whilst Ares, Apollo, Salvo, and Elijah rode with me.
Pumpkin nudged my hand with her muzzle when I stopped petting her and I whispered a 'sorry' before stroking through her soft fur again.
"Thank you, Elijah," I whispered to him who was sitting next to me in the back seat. "For saving and bringing her to me." I nodded at my cat.
He beamed at me. "Of course, Ariana. I'll do anything for you, hon. The cat growing on me so that's a plus side." He gave me a wink and I gave him a small lift of my mouth in return but it felt forced.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Elijah broke it.
"Listen, I want to talk to you about something important." He spoke gently. This cannot be good. "It's nothing, just a small change at the safe house - okay?"
I nodded hesitantly.
"Do you remember our uncles and cousins that barged in a few days in that cinema room?" He asked. I stiffened. I gave him another nod.
"They're coming with us-" My eyes widened and the terror in them was unmistakable.
"Sh," Elijah cooed, putting a hand over mine and I flinched back. As soon I did, my eyes widened even further - internally screaming. I never flinch that violently for a long time. I've honed my body reaction to stop doing its defense mechanism, to make it limp instead because that way was when they lessened the pain they inflicted on me. By not giving them any reaction, their enthusiasm to break me faded away a bit because I was already broken.
Now that I've tasted the freedom once again, my body and mind must had became lenient. If I ever return to that state ever again, I would never recover again. I'd be truly shattered.
A hurt washed over his features for a half-second before they returned to their gentle expression. "Listen to me." His tone was firm but kind and gentle. "You won't see them unless you wish so, I promise. They're nice. Your family, as we are."
"What if they meant us harm?" The
I felt the intense gazes of all four brothers in the car on me. Some creased in concern and some narrowed in suspicion.
"They're our blood. In our family, it means everything. Loyalty means everything to us. We don't do anything to harm each other. You're safe, Ariana."
One of your so-called loyal family was fine with torturing me multiple times. He seemed to enjoy himself when he forced himself on me - regardless of our shared blood. I wanted to snap but I bit my tongue. I was shocked at the sudden anger stirring inside me. It sounded like the voice inside my head but this time it came from me.
I didn't know if they truly believed their blood wouldn't harm each other or they refused to admit to themselves what was possible, so that they could hold on to the person they loved, regardless of their betrayal.
If it was the latter, I couldn't be angry at them. I felt the same way with my mother. Even now when I knew she'd tried to kill me, I still loved her no matter how I didn't want to. The heart doesn't choose who it loves or doesn't.
The panic attack coming from the wardrobe and its cramped space almost lured the repressed memories out. The snippets of it had come to me but it was gone soon as they appeared. I knew it probably was for the best. After the resurfaced memory of my mother with the gun, I was sure it didn't get any better afterward.
"Okay." I lied before slumping down in my seat.
Elijah proceeded to explain to me about the divided sides of the houses. He subtly hinted that I could visit them with the brothers if I like to, which I quickly shit down.
We fell in silence once again. This time, it was tenser. At least, to me it was.
The car took a left turn and I looked out the window to meet the sight of a white large mansion. The original one was pretty private but this one was deeply hidden on the top of the mountain. We had been driving up and around a mountain, surrounded by pine trees. This one was the same size as the other one but missing two floors.
Behind the mansion, I could see a cliff which intrigued me. I wondered how deep it was. Would my bones crack into pieces if I jump off that one? Or squashed into nothing but blood and meat? Would it hurt? Or would the death come immediately?
Before any of the brothers could notice my interest in the cliff, I forced myself to look away from the sight and my thoughts.
"It's small especially when we're divided but it'll do," Apollo told me from the front seat.
I blinked at the back of his head in disbelief. Small? This was huge. Granted, it may not be as big as the original one but still. He must be so spoiled growing up.
"There's a bigger gym here, though." Salvo said and received a loud 'hell yeah!' from Ares with a fist punch in the air.
"They're the biggest gym freaks in this family," Elijah said to me.
"Oh." I partly already knew this. Salvo never shut up about his muscles from the gym that he's been working out like two or three times a day. I can't imagine being that committed to the gym like that.
The car stopped and the engine was shut off. I took a deep breath. For the first time in years, I would be completely outside feeling the fresh air around me. Luckily for me, the sun had long settled down and the moon replaced it.
The doors opened and all of them except me and Elijah got out, bouncing the car on their missing weights. The stars and moon were bright enough for them to not use any flashlights.
"You ready?" Elijah asked gently and I nodded, unsure.
Grabbing ahold of the cat handle, I opened it and got out. The first thing I did was inhaling in the fresh air through both my nose and mouth. Shutting my eyes close, I could taste the snow and pines in the oxygen I breathed. The aroma of the earth on the mountains was comforting. A slight bitter cold in the air pierced my skin and I cherished the moment.
I opened my eyes to find Elijah smiling softly at me. "You ready to pick your room, hon?"
With a nod, I walked towards my new temporary home with the monster stalking inside which I did not look forward to.
P E R D I T A
"You choose whatever you want to watch," Salvo said, pushing the laptop towards me.
"Change it to prime videos app. There are more options." Apollo replied, reaching out his arm over my back to shove the laptop back to Salvo who obeyed.
We were lying on our stomachs on my large king-sized bed in my new room underneath a comforter. I'd chosen the room with the biggest bed since it seems like I'm always on it for the majority of the time.
I was tucked between Apollo and Salvo. A month ago, I would be uncomfortable being too close to a human being but now I'm relaxed for the first time in a long time. Candies were in a pile between me and Salvo - the opened wrappers were on the other side of Salvo. Those were from his secret stash he'd rescued from the mansion. I'd discovered Elijah was a health freak which is why he had to keep his junk foods hidden.
I would be lying when my heart didn't sing in joy when he shared it with me, although I can manage only a stick of smarties candy. I felt bad when he refused to share some with Apollo.
We were having a sleepover, as they called it.
Two days had passed since we'd arrived here and true to their word, I didn't see my so-called uncles, cousins, or the monster. It didn't stop me from being a bit paranoid. I startle at the littlest things. The brothers didn't take the notice of this although it was obvious.
Two times - the small panic attack at the cinema and my mini freak out in the car - I've made it clear as glass something was wrong although I've tried to hide it.
At first, I wondered how they could miss the signs when I would have taken a notice of it immediately if I was in their shoes.
I realized they didn't know me. They thought this was me. The way I've been acting, they probably thought this was my personality. This isn't me.
I didn't even know who I am.
Not even when I was ten years old - at least, I think I don't.
I never got the chance to grow. To go on my path or to navigate school, friends, and family. A loving home. I've been deprived of all and in return, I've lost myself.
I'm alone in this world and have always been.
I suppose I have the brothers but I still don't know if they still could be trusted. Ace lied straight to my face, although I had no proof I know. They grew up seeing the monster that shares the same roof as me. There were too many secrets and lies caught on their web.
There are also a few things that show they could be trusted, though. The day Salvo and Noah came in, one of them blocked out the light to make me more comfortable. They got me out of there. Ace and Alex got Pumpkin back to me.
I desperately wanted to let myself go and trust them but I also didn't want to.
She used to tell me, "let the heart decide, Ariana."
But she also betrayed me like all of the others in my life so is that saying a disqualification?
The screen was pushed into the front of my vision and I redirected myself back to reality even if I didn't want to. The prime video app was on and I scanned the boxes of movies.
Apollo and Salvo attempted to show me to use the mouse touch but were surprised that I already knew how to use it. It was like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride and it just stays engraved into my brain - I guess. As I searched for a movie, my fingers were hovering over the keyboard as if it was familiar.
My fingers were itching to do something but what is it? I didn't dare to try to pry open the repressed memories for fear of remembering my mother's fate.
"Hey?" I blinked to see hands waving in front of my face. I looked at Salvo who was frowning. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and quickly picked a movie. Pearl Harbor.
"You're too young." Apollo shook his head. "I mean, I don't mind. But Ace will have my head if he found out I let you watch it."
"It's P-13 and she's fourteen. I think we're cool." Salvo defended me to Apollo.
"Ace won't agree. It's too much violence. Besides, she's still ten years old mentally."
I frowned at that. I was always mature even at ten years old. Even more so after I was kidnapped. If they asked me, I would answer that I'm far more than fourteen years old mentally. I have experienced far too much violence firsthand and they knew that. Seeing it on the screen is nothing compared I saw in the real life. I don't know why they were determined to shed me away from all that when it was too late.
"Ace doesn't need to know." Salvo shrugged.
"He will know." Apollo deadpanned. "He always does."
"Well, he won't till tomorrow." He waved it off. "Let him scold us later but right now let's just enjoy this movie."
"Fine." Apollo sighed. "You're taking the responsibility for this. You're older."
"Okay, okay." Salvo laughed. I stared at him for a while. I wished I could be him - just happy. He seemed to be the most laidback and had no care in the world. The way when he spoke, they can't help but be lured into his charms.
But I can't let myself be lured. They all could be like sirens. Luring me in with their trustworthy traits and charms only to rip my heart out in the end.
P E R D I T A
The movie was so long and I found myself struggling to keep my eyes stay open. Yet, I was as determined to finish the movie. It was so good - it was only one hour left. Currently, the planes were flying overhead the confused civilians.
"Shit, here it comes," Apollo murmured.
"They could be just dropping off food supplies." Salvo suggested and caused Apollo to give him a 'are you serious?' look.
"Oh, just shut up." He rolled his eyes.
Salvo flipped him off.
"Hey! There's a little girl here!" What's up with Apollo insisting I'm a little girl?
"Sorry," Salvo muttered, not sounding sorry at all.
"I'm telling Ace."
"What? Why?"
Apollo shrugged. "Because why the fuck not? I'm bored."
"You bit- witch!" Salvo saved himself from his narrowed eyes of Apollo. "Jesus, you're acting like you're older. I'm the oldest, you're supposed to listen to me!"
"You're mentally disabled so you don't count."
"At least I'm hotter than you." He made a show of kissing his flexed muscles through his tight white t-shirt. "Right, Ariana?" He grinned cheekily at me.
Hey, don't bring me into this—
"Don't answer that!" Apollo shout-whispered to me. "Just watch the fucking movie." He told Salvo.
"Hypocrite," Salvo muttered and got a glare from his brother.
I hid a small smile with my hair strands as they turned the movie backward for the scenes we'd missed by their mini bickering.
I watched with the utmost fascination and horror as the planes began to drop the bombs. It went underneath the water and the two men washing the side of the ship looked at it as it hit the ship. They went into flames as it exploded. I watched with a pang of sadness, especially when it was inspired by a true story.
There was a nagging deep in my mind, though. Something about the bomb underneath the water was familiar. For some reason, everything inside me screamed at me to remember.
"Rewind it a bit," I whispered to no one in particular. They both looked at me in confusion but obliged me nonetheless.
They stared at me as I stared at the bomb flying through the water before exploding the ship on the screen. What did it remind me of?
Think, Ariana, think.
Imagine if it was bigger and add the windows... The voice whispered and I felt the ghost of its breath on my lobe of ears. A shiver went through my spine as usual. My brows creased until it hit me.
The submarine!
So Ariana remembers where they're keeping their father. Do you think she'll tell them? If so, how?
I already have the next chapter half written so it should be published tomorrow.