*in which you and your father lead two, very different life styles, and when he asks you to join him on a fancy dinner party he senses something is wrong with you*
(empath vibes)
you are like 18 ok
TW-neglect, use of drugs, vomiting, sepsis
**
its not exactly that he didnt like you or something like that, not at all. it was just that while hes busy, you were too. hes busy with his work, being the british government, and you busy with... school... and friends... and cases with your uncle and whatever seasonal obsession you get, covering your walls in it.
even though you werent hanging out much, you would have dinner together sometimes, or see each other in the house from time to time.
you wish you could have more of his attention. yes, you know hes busy, know hes not got time to hear how your day was, so you dont really talk like that.
you were close with sherlock, your uncle, who would invite you to solve cases with him sometimes, when he was bored and john was busy or something.
but even if you and sherlock spent time together, it seems that he too couldnt pick up on your drug use.
it starts like they all start, you get to school, someones smoking and offers you, yada yada yada, you are at a party and after 12 when half the people already fell asleep, you see on the balconey two guys smoking. you join and they tell you its weed, you smoke it, you get high.
from there, you started doing it more often, the drinking in parties and smoking weed, not only in parties but with friends or things like that. next time, your dealer offers you to try LSD and you take some, try it with your friends, and while they all hated it, you loved the experience, so you take some more.
yada yada yada, you continue to magic mushrooms and MDMA.
till now, your father or your uncle havent noticed anything. its kind of usual for teenagers to go out with friends and close themselves in their rooms, so mycroft doesnt see much of a reason to worry. in anyway, hes not very good on picking up signs from people he doesnt see much.
like his daughter.
his same daughter that sits under the bridge with some other junkies and for the first time shoots heroin, all the while crying and mummbling about how you "miss dad" and "dont feel real"
but theres not much to do, because quickly enough, the heroin you pumped into yourself starts working, and you dont remember anything when you wake up under that same bridge.
you pick yourself up and walk back to town, walk into a starbucks and straight into the bathroom, wash your face and push finger down your throat to puke anything you had inside of you, and after washing out your mouth, you go out of the bathroom and to the cashier, asking for a coin to use the payphone.
you dial a particular number given to you a long time ago, and anthea answers the phone.
"yes" she says on the other side, "hey anthea" you murmur, leaning on the wall, "i need a drive home"
"where are you?" she asks, "starbucks on new oxford" you say.
"where were you?" she asks, "i was at rileys" you quickly muster up a lie and say "and last i checked i dont report back to you"
anthea chuckles on the other side and says, "be there in a few. i paid you for a coffee, go grab it inside"
the phone call ends and you go inside the starbucks, waiting for your name to be called and take your coffee. you walk outside and see the black car, no number, and as the door is opened for you, you crash inside it and the door closed behind you.
"going home miss holmes?" the driver asks. "you know it" you nod, and the car starts moving.
you look out the window while drinking your coffee, and reflect back.
your whole body feels like... you have no body, and your brain feels like tv static.
a slow smile grows on your face.
that was so... fun!
you get to the garage and leave the house, and as you enter inside the holmes manor of the british government, you see your father going for the door.
"dad!" you call, a smile grows on your face and your back straightens as you see him. he seems to be leave for work, but also, he always works.
he raises his face from his phone and gives you half a smile, "oh, {Y/N}" he walks closer to you and pets your shoulder, "i didnt know you were out, where were you?"
of course he didnt know i wasnt home...
"i-i was just at rileys" you murmur, smiling back a smaller smile. he hums and already looks at his phone again, "alright, im leaving, be safe" and with a small kiss to your forehead, hes already out the door.
the door closes, and you are alone at home. the big, empty, cold house.
"oh shit" you grab your head, shutting your eyes harshly. oh god, what am i thinking?! shooting heroin?! what i crazy? how can i do this to dad? to sherlock? how can i?!
with these thoughts bugging your head, you found yourself in your room, dawning down 'calming pills', and rather quickly, you fall asleep.
**
gaining conseancess back is kind of scary, mainly when you get back to in the middle of class or in the middle of eating, getting back to yourself and actually stop being a body without a mind.
today, you sudennly gasp and fall from your chair, hypervantilating and taking your time to remember that you are in school.
"are you okay?" "{Y/N}" you can look up, and you see your friends and classmates and your teacher, but you cant hear anything as you breath harshly, eyes hurting and your whole body in pain.
your whole body feels stiff but you cant get up, and soon, two of your friends pick you up, hanging your arms around their shoulders and take you to the nurses office.
you sit there on the seat, the nurse infront of you, checking your heart beat and blood preassure.
sudennly, you stand up in the middle of blood preasure checking and run over to the sink, double over, and vomit.
while you stand there, panting and puking ocassionaly, the nurse holds back your hair gently, rubbing your back and asking you questions. you dont answer any.
after washing out your mouth, you ask to lay down, and right as you do, you pass out again.
**
"hey... {Y/N}..." you open up your eyes and see your friend standing above you, shaking your shoulder, "your drive is here"
after some failed steps and a few sips of water, you get your bag and stumble out of the school and to the black car, sitting inside it.
"going home ms holmes?" the driver asks. after a deep breath, you shake your head, and open your wallet to check how much money you have.
"im going to rileys" you say, and the driver gets you to the address of your friend, leaving you there.
as the car speeds away, you walk downtown and under the bridge, where you find an old man with a box beside him.
"hey" you sit down infront of him and offer him money, with the word "speed" and he grabs it away, opening the box and giving you a small bag with 2 white cubes.
"d-do you have... a needle and a... a spoon?" you ask, looking at him half shy, half about to pass out.
he looks you up and down, raising an eyebrow, "how old are ya kid?" he asks. "j-just... can you help me?" you murmur.
the man sighs and takes the bag from you, breaks up the cubes and heats them up on the spoon, above his little lighter. you watch with anticipation.
"hold it" you take the spoon with the bubbling liquid in it and watch as he picks up from behind him a needle.
"do you not have a clean one?" you ask in a hush, and he looks at you, face unamused, "you understand that you are about to shoot crystal meth little lady?" he asks.
"r-right, sorry, go ahead" you sigh.
he rolls up your sleeve and starts slapping the inside of your elbow until your veins poke out, and he pulls up the needle the liquid.
"now deep breath lady" he sighs, and starts inserting the long syringe up into your arm, and shushs you harshly when you hiss from pain, and finally, shoots it in.
he pulls it out and throws it behind him on the ground, heres where that came from, and points you off to the side.
"sit there" you get up and fall again beside the wall, and sit there, waiting.
after sometime, when your heartbeat feels like its running away and the ground is breathing, the man comes over again, looking taller and much... bigger.
he leans down and opens up your bag, and starts looking for your stuff.
"w-what are you doing?" you slur. "payment for the needle and spoon" he quickly says.
you pull your wallet out and since your vision kind of went to shit, you just open up the wallet and show him the main compartment and slur something.
then, your head feels heavy, and you cut out.
**
next thing you know, police sirens. next, the man is slapping you roughly, throwing your bag at you, and for good measures, slaps you again.
"w-what..." "get the fuck up and starts running!" he throws a white scarf at you and grabs onto your arm roughly and practically throws you up until you are half standing, slurring and swaying, but after a few more slaps, you nod and starts running as fast as you can.
and as you do so, running at night up the riverside, a random scarf in your hand that for some reason you cant leave and your whole body feels like... you are flying.
its like you have no body weight at all, and your feet are carrying you with no problem as you run, without any destination, just running.
it feels good, it feels refreshing, it feels like this is what life is all about, it feels like right now, is what life needs to be, right now, with no respobsabilities, with nothing to care about and with nothing to be worried about.
not even... dad.
"oh shitttt" you stop running and lean onto the building behind you, but you fall down and find yourself on your ass, but still go ahead and into your backpack, looking for your phone.
you find it, since its glowing in your bag and pull it up to your nose, looking at it furiously until you start tapping it, saying sorry everytime you hit the screen too hard.
"hello?" your dads voice comes from the phone, and a smile grows on your face, "daddy?" you ask quietly, trying to calm yourself down, and the talking horse beside you too.
mycroft raises his eyebrow in confusion, "y-yes..." he replies, confuses by you calling him daddy. you never did that.
"i just... i just wanted to let you know... im staying over at... my friends tonight" you whisper slowly.
"well thats... good to know. everything ok?" he asks, confused. "yeah i just... wanted to tell you where i am... you know... so you wouldnt worry" you whisper again, sudennly your eyes feel heavy.
"i trust you {Y/N}" he says slowly, a bit confused still, but not doing anything.
"alright so... bye" you say lowly, eyes closing, "bye {Y/N}" he says, and your vision goes blank.
**
"i was invited to a diplomats dinner party and i was told to bring a plus one, so, would you like to come with me?"
you can bearly remember what you replied to him, but it must have been an eager yes, since you are standing infront of you bed and staring at your dress that was bought for you, a spagetii strap black long dress with a pair of heels.
now how am i supposed to wear a dress that shows my arms dad?
after putting it on, you cover your arms with a pair of gloves that go up over your elbows and a weird white scarf you dont remember ever getting.
you draw your makeup on very slowly with your shaking hands, and dawn two calming pills down to feel better.
you walk downstairs, finding your father standing, phone pressed to his ear as he threatened someone.
you sit on the sofa and clasp your heels on your legs, and stand up again, walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water and wait for him to finish so he could close your jelewry on for you, since, for some reason, your gentle motorics dont seem to work so well.
"you ready to go?" he asks from the living room, "yeah i just need you to..." you walk over, handing over a braclet for him to close on your glove, and a pearl necklace he got you for the event.
"are you feeling alright? you seem to be shivering" he comments, and you cough, "no, im just a bit cold" you quickly say, pull away from him, and turn around to the door.
"alright, lets go"
you both get in the car, and you sudennly feel a bit nauseas, chills running over your skin.
but you ignore it quickly and look over to your father. hes on his phone, per usual.
you sigh and return to looking out the window for the rest of the drive.
its kind of blurry as you leave the car with your father holding your hand, and head inside.
you dont remember much of the mingeling and the saying hello to anyone around, but you find yourself standing infront of a few other people, apperantly smiling and talking as if you were present in the event.
and while you body was there, your head seemed to be taking off every few moments to somewhere else.
sudennly, some beautiful woman puts her hand on your shoulder and quints her eyes at your chest.
"are you alright deary? you seem to be... panting and kind of pale" she asks. you look at her, eyes squinted and your hand above your cheat, as if its holding your sudennly aching heart. but phsycially aching heart.
"oh i just feel a bit... weak, i suppose" you smile and reach for your glass of champagne and smile at her, "but im quite alright, thank you" you nod at her and take a sip.
she nods and pulls away, as if satisfied.
the night continues, and at some point you are sitted down beside your father at the dinner table.
but you feel horrible.
chills cover your skin and your eyes are heavy, and your heart is beating so fast, your breath going out of control.
"d-dad" you lean over to say something to him, and just as your eyes catch each other, you manage to get out a "imnutfeelingud" and fall down over to his lap.
**
"has she been in an accident lately?" "i dont know, dont think so"
"has she been harming herself lately?"
"i doubt it"
right as the nurse takes off your heels, your eyes start to open up and you regain some kind of consiucness.
"{Y/N}" mycroft stands up, his hand coming to your cheek and you can see his face. it feels like you havent seen his face in a long, long while.
"dad" you whisper out, looking up at him, but all he sees it the whites of your eyes.
"have you been hurt lately? accident? anything?" he asks, just as the nurse takes off your gloves.
silence until she sighs and asks, "when have you been taking? what have you been taking?" mycroft for a second furrows his eyebrows and looks down to find your arm poked and bruised up with purple blue and yellow bruises.
"j-j-just some regular... shiit i dont feel well" you slur again, eyes rolling into the back of your head again.
"yes ms holmes, it seems that you are going into septic shock"
both you and your father almost choke on the spot.
"tell me what you took darling"
tears well up in your eyes,
"since when?" you whisper, "lately" he replys, brushing your tears away,
"s-speed and smack and some wax, i-i think" you murmur.
"where did you get them? did you use them at home?" he asks frantically while the nurse concludes, "this is the infected site"
"n-no, it was under the bridge... with a dirty needle" you sob and look up at your father again, "im so sorry dad... im so sorry... i didnt know what to do..." you cry out, eyes red while the rest of your body hurt like hell.
"its alright {Y/N}, i know, no need to apologize just... just breath" he says, brushing your tears away as he walks beside the gurney over to some room.
"i didnt want to make you upset i just... i miss you dad" you let out, sudennly gripping onto his arm roughly, pulling him down a bit, "i just wanted a hug"
"its alright darling. dont you worry. ill hug you when you are out of this"
"can you hug me now?"
he sits down on the gurney and puts his arms around your body and pulls you up, hugging you close to his body as he does so, and listening to the nurse talk to the doctor, saying that 3 of your organs have already failed and you are only still alive because your body is pumped full of toxins.
"i like hugging you daddy" your voice is unheard at this point, only fainly when your whole body weight is leaning on him.
"i love hugging you darling"
***
i have covid and it sucks ass.
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yours, the red demon♧