• • •
Speak your mind
even if your voice shakes
• • •
"Ahh, here she is gentlemen," Lee laughed as Rose entered the common room the day of the last visit to Hogsmeade. "Rose Potter, the looser of the bet!"
"Do the walk of shame, Rosie," George joked as Rose the Gryffindor fifth years with both her middle fingers up.
"Shut it, you arses," Rose said with gritted teeth, standing before the fireplace facing the sofa were Fred, George, Angelina, Lee, Alicia, Amara and Kenneth were sitting.
"I still can't believe you lost that bet, Rose," Angelina commented, admiring the short skirt she was wearing. "You're the best in our class."
"Apparently not anymore," Fred snorted, receiving a pillow in the face curtesy of Rose.
"You're gonna freeze in that skirt," Alicia said. "Don't get me wrong, hot outfit, but you'll freeze before you get to the carriages."
"I'm wearing a jumper," Rose shrugged, taking a seat in one of the love seats. "Besides, I never get cold."
Lee, Fred, Amara and George chuckled quietly, knowing the exact reason why Rose wouldn't freeze even if she wore a bikini in mid snow-storm.
"At least you've got more chemistry with Pucey than with Diggory," Kenneth said, smiling at Rose. "About time you broke up with the Hufflepuff."
"For your information, Towlers," Rose said, "I haven't broken up with Cedric."
"Won't you look at that," Kenneth admired impressed, leaning back in his seat. "What an interesting turn of events."
"I think it's good that Cedric trusts Rose so much," Alicia said, glaring at Kenneth. "So, Kenneth, if I were you, i'd keep my mouth shut."
"Someone's cranky," Kenneth mumbled, getting a smack in the head by Alicia.
"Well, Rose, I reckon it's time," George clapped, standing from his seat. The rest of the fifth year lions stood up as well. "We'll walk you to the Great Hall, and watch as your dignity fades away with every step you take towards Pucey."
"Let's get this over with," Rose muttered, her head hung low as they left the common room with her friends making a big scandal through the whole walk. Fred and George wouldn't stop whistling, the girls were clapping, and Kenneth and Lee were cackling with laughter as they tried to frighten her with 'the walk of shame'.
"Lee, the 'walk of shame' doesn't exist," Rose said, fed up with the noise that had followed her since the common room. "And even if it did, I wouldn't feel it."
"Well, you've never lost a big bet, Rosie," Fred said, coming up from besides her and wrapping his arm over her shoulder.
"If you had, you would know the walk," George continued, standing on her other side. "It pretty easy to recognise."
"When you've lost a big bet," Fred said as an example.
"Or when you return to the common room after spending the night elsewhere," Angelina commented.
"Or after getting detention," Alicia chimed in.
"Alright, I reckon I've got it now," Rose spoke, stopping the various examples that were soon to come out. "Basically it's what you feel before or after doing something embarrassing."
"See, you've got it," Lee clapped her on the back as they arrived to the Great Hall were Adrian Pucey was casually leaning against the closed door.
"Remember, Rosie, if he tries to kiss you, you strike were it hurts," Amara joked, earning laughs from everyone but a certain ginger.
"Shove off," Rose grunted, turning to her friends and bowing. "This is were I leave you, lads, if I never come back, burn all my letters."
"Go on, you big drama queen," Amara chuckled, shoving her and making the Gryffindors ring with laughter.
"Alright, alright!" Rose giggled. "I'm gone!"
However, Rose didn't have to wait much before she felt a hand in her shoulder. Turning, she came face to face with Fred.
"Rose," he said quietly as to not be overheard. "Are you sure you're alright with this?"
Fred and Rose had an unspoken rule to never talk about Adrian, since it set them both off. They never talked about agreeing to this, but that is why it was an unspoken rule. This was the first time either Fred or Rose had mentioned anything about it since they got into a big fight before their fourth year. However, they were older now, with their feelings clearer and their head straighter... well maybe not so much the second one.
"It's alright, Freddie," Rose assured him, smiling up at him with a pink colour filling her honest eyes. "If for some reason I want to leave, I'll go looking for you."
"Alright," Fred nodded, smiling down at Rose before he picked up his head and nodded at Adrian. He turned on his heel and walked back to the lions, all who were silently expecting a fight to break between Fred and Rose, but they were please to know that it didn't happen.
When Rose finally walked to Adrian, against own her will, she felt the famous walk of shame her friends were talking about. It was like walking towards a podium with millions of people watching and waiting for you to trip over your own feet. From behind, she could hear her friends snapping pictures at her as she walked, probably wanting to keep the photograph as a treasure.
"They're making quite the show of this, aren't they?" Adrian smirked as Rose approached.
"Shove off," she complained.
"No, no, no, Lightbourn," he tutted, a smile on his face. "The bet was that you would go out with me and leave your witty remarks behind. Now smile for the camera, Rose."
Adrian had gotten a hold of Rose's waste, turning her around and smiling at the camera as the Gryffindors doubled over with laughter, quickly snapping pictures of them.
"You gave them the idea," Rose realised.
"I might've said something to Amara," Adrian said, chuckling sincerely.
"Funny," Rose glared at him. However, as they walked towards the carriages, Rose forgot all about her anger with Adrian. In no time, they were chatting as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them. Rose didn't notice that until they arrived at Hogsmeade, but she chose to keep it to herself, not wanting to ruin the day she was having.
"My favourite class has got to be Lupins'," Adrian was saying as they entered the three broomsticks. "He's letting us try all the spells we learn about."
"I know, he's pretty great," Rose agreed. "Not like that dimwit of Lockhart. Honestly, that git."
"You knew he was a big fat liar since the first time you saw him," Adrian recalled, laughing as he pulled Rose's chair for her in the most common manoeuvre. Neither of them noticing since once, it has been so common for them to go with all the little romantic things the other did. Madam Rosmerta came around with two butterbeers, not having to ask what the young couple would take since she had seen them sitting in that same table countless of times.
"Well, his face made it pretty obvious that he was clueless about everything he was teaching," Rose laughed, taking a sip from her butterbeer.
"I remember," Adrian chuckled. "You called him a fraud and almost walked out of his class when he began talking about mermaids."
Rose nodded her head, turning to the table besides her.
"Are you hungry?" Rose asked Adrian, tilting her head.
"I could eat something," Adrian said.
"Brilliant!" Rose said, standing from the table and leaving a thirty sickles for Madam Rosmerta. "Let's go to Honeydukes."
"Rose, I've got it, you don't have to pay," Adrian said, however, Rose grabbed a hold of his wrist as he tried to reach into his pocket.
"You payed last time," Rose said without thinking. "It's my turn."
"Last time?" Adrian asked, confused. "Rose, that was two years ago."
"Huh," Rose breathed, letting go of his hand as if they shocked her. "Right, but it's already there, it's no big deal."
She was quiet after that, Adrian tried to get the conversation back to where it was, but no budge. They walked around Honeydukes for almost half and hour, before Adrian finally set eyes on something he knew Rose would adore.
"Here," Adrian said as they left the store. "Reckon your sweet tooth hasn't changed in to years."
Rose gaped as Adrian handed her a multi-flavour chocolate frog, a sweet that was only sold on Diagon Alley, but they had recently begun to sell in Hogsmeade as well. Rose adored loads of things, but a multi-flavour chocolate frog was perfect for the couple, since Rose only liked the first half and Adrian only liked the taste of the second half.
"Haven't eaten on of this in so long," Rose murmured, taking the chocolate frog and cutting it in half with as much precision as she could. "Here," she said, handing him his half.
They walked around Hogsmeade for a while, they were talking a little more, but not like they had done at the three broomsticks. Finally, they sat down in a bench at the end of town, and Adrian felt so sorry for Rose, that he couldn't keep her there.
"Look, Rose," Adrian began. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you."
However, to his surprised, he didn't leave, she turned her head to him.
"Has it really been two years?" Rose asked.
"Maybe not so long, but yeah, I reckon it's been a while," Adrian said, gulping the knot he had in his throat.
"Blimey," Rose chuckled sadly. "I could've sworn it just happened a couple weeks ago."
They feel into an uncomfortable silence. She cared. Rose Potter really cared about Adrian Pucey, and she knew he did cared about her as well. And that is why she needed to know the reason. After almost two years, Rose still couldn't get Adrian out of her head. Everything in her life needed to have a reason, or else it was bad; Her parent's murder had no reason, yes they had been fighting a war, but they were murdered in their own home whilst in hiding, the Dark Lord had no reason to kill them but pure pleasure. Her elemental had no reason, if it did, why did she have to keep it so secret? All in all, she needed to know why... even if the reason was as simple as 'I didn't want to try anymore'.
"Adrian?" Rose spoke in a whisper, tilting her head to him. "Why did you say what you said?"
Adrian really wanted to say 'what are you talking about?', but he knew what she meant. Hadn't it been long enough?
"You remember that day at the quidditch pitch?" Adrian began. "The day you jinxed Draco Malfoy."
"All too well," Rose nodded, her full interest in the boy sitting next to him.
"Well, after you left with Harry someone came to see me," Adrian said nervously, fearing the reaction she might have.
"Let me guess, Fred?" Rose said with a knowing look in her face.
"He told you?" Adrian asked her.
"He didn't have to," Rose admitted, making Adrian stare at her with pure disbelief. "Oh, come on, Adrian, you never gave a shit about Fred. From one day to another you said that you were hurting me, it was pretty obvious someone had put those ideas in your head. At first I thought it was Molly, but one day Fred made the idiotic mistake of telling me the exact same words you did in a different context."
"If you knew, why didn't you say anything before?" Adrian asked, not wrapping his head around the fact that he could've been with this girl for a while now if she had said anything.
"I don't know," Rose shrugged. "You do realise this is the first time we're talking about this without one of us storming off, don't you?"
"Why are you being like this?" Adrian wondered, staring at the girl he had known for about four years. But the girl he had in front of him wasn't the girl he knew; the girl he knew would've yelled, she would've stormed off, cursed him into next week, and probably kiss him by the end of it.
"I guess people change, even if you don't want them too," Rose said, but there was one thing that Adrian never failed to notice... her eyes. They weren't calm and collected as she seemed to be on the outside, they were grey, the colour that he had associated with sadness.
"Rose, you were the one thing that I never wanted to change."
He was going to fight, Adrian was going to fight to see the girl he knew come back. The wild and honest Rose Potter that he had grown fond of. Not that impression of a perfect girl that she was attempting.
"She won't come back, Adrian," Rose said. Adrian knew she was smart, which is why he knew that she saw through his attempts.
"I saw her come back," Adrian confessed rapidly. "She was there when we made the bet." He took her by the hands, forcing her to come closer. "Rose, stop this. This is not you, I know you and whatever you are trying to do, it won't work. So drop the act, tell me what you really think."
If she was taken back by what he said, she didn't show it, her face remained the same.
"I don't know what you want me to say," Rose said calmly, tilting her head slightly.
Adrian was fed up, but he was an ambitious person. He had been sorted into Slytherin for a reason, and if that reason hadn't been ambition, he didn't know why.
"Rose Lightbourn, if you don't stop this, help me Merlin, I'll lose my bloody mind!" Adrian begged. "Just say what you think for fucks sake! If there is one thing I have learned about you is to always speak your mind, even if you flicker, even if your voice shakes."
And that's when she cracked, slowly, he saw her face show a real emotion, and it was grief. Pure raw grief. Her lips and her eyes fell, her shoulders went down and she seemed to release a breath.
"I don't want her to come back," Rose said, blueish grey eyes staring at hazel. "I need to be perfect, or else the whole wizarding world will know. I didn't care before, but I didn't have the Daily Profit's eyes follow me everywhere before. Now I do. Worst part is, no one noticed."
"I did," Adrian said quietly. "Don't pretend with me, Lightbourn. Do whatever you want in other eyes, but please don't pretend with me."
She nodded, not knowing how much it would cost her not to pretend in the long game.