"I can't believe I am here...w-with you." I croak, looking at Travis as we stood in the LAX airport. My eyes scanned the airport I was once in when I first came here.
I remember the fear...the confusion when I first got here two years ago. I was waiting for Louis at the time and I didn't know my way around. I was even so afraid that I stayed my ground. Didn't even move from my seat even though I could have, but I remember my legs feeling like jello.
Every time I tried to stand I'd just collapse back into my chair. People offered to help but I couldn't even look them in the eye. My nerves were just that bad because I left a place knowing only my grandparents, they were all I knew. Just to come here and know...not even my brother or parents enough to get comfort from that.
I almost found myself wanting to go back even though I was so happy to get away from that abuse... Then found myself wanting to go back just showed how messed up I was.
Except I still couldn't even move...
Reminds me of back then when I wanted to cry and he fell on his knees before me...so handsome.
____two years ago____
I just want to cry...
I came here for my parents research, and now I'm wondering if I should have at all. Doesn't even seem right to me anymore.
Was able to convince myself that this was the right thing, that I'm following in my families plan...but is it even worth it? I feel alone...even now. I ask for my brother's help and he gets bad at me for not being able to figure it out.
I possibly could...but I'm just scared. I just want someone to care about me as much as I care about them. I love my family...but sometimes it feels like they don't love me. Nothing I ever seem to do is good enough or right in their eyes.
Honestly...as long as I'm not yelled at I'll be fine. I hate being yelled at, it scares me. Makes me lose focus and I almost fall into this blank mindset...and I begin to feel nothing on the matter. Just let them yell...until I'm excused. As long as I don't say anything back and let them say what they want, get all of the anger they have for me out...they'll be fine.
It works...but I can't keep doing that. I just want someone to...care about me like I care about them. Where's that one person who will care about me and love me like I do? Is it bad that I want to run from that possibility in fear that I can't love right? Is it also bad that I don't think I know how to like...or love properly at all?
I'm supposed to be smart, but I'm uncertain on love when that should be the first thing I'm certain of. What's wrong with me?
I look up, but saw no one pay me mind anymore after I ignored three workers. I just want a sign...any sign that this worth it... Being here, because I want a sign - I don't want to go back, I don't.
I just need...a sign.
Anything-.
"Mimi!"
I hear someone shout my name, and I look over my shoulder fast at who it was. I couldn't see anybody even though everyone was looking too. The voice was very strong and that's when I saw a very...handsome man rushing down the way.
He looked around and I saw a cop quite some distance trying to catch up. I look back at him worriedly as he seemed to be in trouble.
"Mimi please! Mimi!" He cries out for my name again and now I was really concerned. Why was someone so handsome calling out for me. Suddenly as his eyes settle on mine and this excitement came to his face.
He practically rushed over the seats, only for his foot to get caught on the edge. Causing him to fall on his knees before me, I look down at him in shock as he grabbed my hands.
"Please, you're Mimi, yes?" He asks me quickly, and I see him look pleadingly.
"Y-Yes? Why?"
"Sir, we need to take you into custody since you-."
The next thing this very attractive man did had my heart beating so fast. I was pulled up into his arms as he hugged me tightly, my face pressed into his chest that felt nice to lay against. It was such a nice hug...that ended just as fast as it was given until his lips went beside my ear.
"I'm your brother's best friend, Travis. Your brother Louis Seo, yeah? Well, I came to get you since he said you were lost. Please, go along with me." He whispers into my ear as he pulls back fast.
I would've responded...but it would've just been all stuttered. He was so close to me as he stared into my eyes so passionately and I feel my hand on his chest, and I would've moved it...but I couldn't. I was so enraptured by...Travis is his name? He was the most handsome man I have ever seen...and I have never felt this way before.
Heart racing, face warm...my eyes wanting to look away; but couldn't.
"Mimi, I haven't seen you in years. All these years I've missed," He murmurs to me, and I feel my expression change; but I wasn't sure into what, "Eyes the color of pure obsidian, hair as black as the midnight sky, skin as white as vanilla..."
He glances away from me real quick, but I felt my face burning up. I could feel his heart beating normally, but I wonder if he can hear mine. It was going crazy!
Travis suddenly pulls me against him, and I blush even more! This is so amazing and new and I think I'm falling in-.
"I'm with him. Sorry that I ran from you, but I became nervous that Mimi would get lonely. Haven't seen him in so long and he doesn't know his way around. Technically trespassed, but for good reason. I apologize." Travis apologizes to the cop who looked perplexed about it all.
He looked at me now and my eyes set back onto Travis. My mouth was gaping open as he looked at me, grinning kindly.
"Is this true?"
Travis pulls back from me a bit to respond and I was still at a loss. I know if I speak my voice will come out pitchy. I clear my throat, grinning at the cop.
"Yes, I h-have not seen him i-in awhile. Sorry that it h-had t-to come to th-this." I apologize this time, embarrassed because my stutter was so obvious. Now Travis hears it! "I sorry. When I-I get shy, I st-stutter."
The cop nods awkwardly, and he apologizes too. Once he walked away I look back at Travis, seeing him sighing in relief almost. I honestly...was just looking at him and how amazing he looked.
I wanted to hug him again-.
"Thank you for lying with me. Probably wasn't the best impression." He starts, chuckling awkwardly. He was too cool...I had to sit down.
His hands clasp together, and I see him look down at me softly. I was still concerned for Travis, but it won't matter.
"I-It is okay. It was a-an okay impression. I-I was certain I w-was lost in here. Though Louis had you fetch me, h-huh?" I ask him, snickering shyly as I cover my mouth some.
I see him nod, this unreadable expression on his face.
"How old are you?" He asks me, and I look up at him.
"Seventeen." I murmur to him, and I see him nod. "May I-I ask h-how old y-you are?"
I see him smile down at me, his eyes softening on me in a way that made me feel...
"I'm eighteen. Graduate from high school this year actually. I heard from Louis that you lived with your grandparents all your life and are now visiting America for the first time. Your English is good though, a little bit of an accent, but who's complaining?" He explains to me happily, and I hear his rhetorical question.
I grin up at him, finding him so...lovely. I know what I'm feeling...or do I?
Is this love I am feeling for Travis?
No...wait, it has to be...because...
This feeling in my heart...it's too warm.
____present___
"I can." Travis says, and I look at him as he grins down at me.
I look down at my stomach and see a bump. My eyes soften on it as I begin to think about Primy.
"W-We have come so f-far. We are together...and have a b-baby on the way and to think it all started h-here." I nod over at the seats and see him look over. A big smile came to his face as he was definitely thinking about the same thing as me.
"I'm happy Louis made me come for you. It's a shame that it caused such a rift between us for no reason, but he is better. At least he gets to finish his semester there and has your apartment. We have-."
"Rosie." I gush, lifting up the kitty bag and she meows at us both. "I'm so h-happy... This is perfect Travis, I just had t-to be here. I feel so much more...comfortable."
I wrap my arm around his, leaning into him. We both walk down the aisle and there were no weird stares, none of that. It was normal and I looked up at him. He held our things and I knew we were going to baggage claim.
"This is amazing." I breathe, leaning against him. "I'm so happy I-I am with you. If I wasn't able to b-be with you...I'd literally cry so much. Just buckets, and buckets of tears!"
I hear him chuckle, shaking his head.
"Is buckets of tears even possible? You'd have to drink so much water...you'd become dehydrated if you cried buckets." He states and I shrug.
"Well...I guess I'd be dehydrated. I-I wouldn't even drink water to quench my th-thirst!"
"What about Primy? She'd suffer because of your sadness," He states to me, and I look up at him, "How would you feel then?"
I was at a loss for words. I'd hurt the baby if I was to cry like that? Made me be at a loss for words. To think that my sadness could possibly hurt the baby made me even...sadder, but I was actually becoming upset out of nowhere.
"You're...You're trying t-to get me upset."
"Not at all baby, I just want you to understand that you'd hurt her. You'd be too focused on crying, and what about eating to give her nutrition? It's just all about the consideration is all. Your body is no longer just yours, that's all I'm trying to say. Not trying to make you upset at all, promise." He nods firmly, and I found myself...pouting.
As we went down the escalator I found myself seeing people who looked kind of familiar at the bottom of it. I looked a little more and my eyes widen at the realization.
I look up at Travis and see him smiling, and I rush down the escalator.
"Mama!" I cry for his mom, and I see her smile as I go. While I'm running I found myself missing a step as I fell some, seeing the panic flash within her eyes. That's when I realized I was falling only to feel Travis grab my wrist. I look to see him stumble forward some, and he was able to keep me from falling.
I stop now, and I see Travis flinch. I look down to see his foot angled an awkward way. He moved some and I see it go forward normally, but when he walked I could tell it hurt him some.
"Travis I-I'm sorry." I apologize fast, seeing him look away from me as he walks to a bench. His parents rushed to me to see if I was fine, but I was focused on him. I see him look at his ankle and rub his thumb along the bone, looking irritated.
I stood at a distance because I began to realize that he needs to be fine. The reason why we came here so early was for his basketball, it's his career! Did I just ruin those chances?
"Travis did you sprain it?" I hear his dad ask, and Travis shook his head. "Then what is it?"
"Just...strained it, yeah - that's the word. It turned at an angle abruptly because I didn't want Mimi to fall. It'll be fine." He says, standing up as he grins down at me. "It's okay Mimi, it's okay."
I see him nod at me, and I shook my head.
"It is okay, I'll be fine. This has happened before-."
"It has. You know that day when you came over and we first met you? He is just so clumsy and he strained his foot turning so abruptly." Mama tells me to help me feel better.
Except...
I brought him pain.
"You are clumsy now that I think about it." I hear his dad start as we walk on. I just looked down at Travis' foot and see him walking fine. When I look back up at him he had this regular expression and I couldn't even tell...
This made me so upset.
"I'm so s-stupid." I mumble, and his parents didn't hear it. I know Travis did when he grips my arm. Looking up at him again, he shook his head. "I am stupid! I-I shouldn't have r-run! Now I h-hurt you when we came h-here for your basketball stuff! I'm so dumb...I'll sprain my a-ankle too!"
I rush towards the edge of the stairs and tried to injure my ankle, only to feel Travis' dad grab my arm. He pulled me forward as he shook his head.
"Don't do the first thing that pops up in your mind, it's the baby getting you all riled up." He leans close, clearing his throat as mama and Travis looked at us from a few feet away. "I have had my share of anger and spontaneous actions...I have three kids... Dealt with it three times. I'm skilled in the art of patience and swiftness to their actions."
I just stay silent as he walks me forward. I didn't even know what to say and I think that's what he intended on. Placing me beside Travis, they both nod.
"We'll get your bags to celebrate you two being here, permanently. Just wait some." Mama nods at us, smiling at me. I nod as they walk away and I look back at Travis.
He was looking down at me already and I just look away fast.
"Your dad...said not to do things so sp-spontaneously..." I start, and I feel him wrap his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"I told you it's fine. You were just so excited to see 'mama'." He reminds me, and I feel a smile grow on my lips. "She's just as happy to see you, if not more-."
"No way! I am more excited to see her! She c-can come to our ultrasounds - along with your dad. I can go to your games and I'm going to try and get all my stuff in Beijing transferred h-here. I want to go t-to your college...is it easy to get into?" I ask him, and he looks off awkwardly. "Is it?"
"I mean...I've heard it has low acceptance rates. I was offered a scholarship there to their basketball team, so I didn't really need to do much to get in. Since you're already in college and are transferring, it might be different. I don't know enough about that stuff so I shouldn't really say anything on the matter." He explains to me and I grip my chin.
I have excellent grades and I am good at basketball too. I highly doubt I'll be allowed on this time since it's college basketball, it's semipro. An amateur like me who migrated over to tennis would not be accepted.
"D-Do they have tennis there?" I ask him another question.
"Yeah. I don't really ever hear about them, more people at my school are focused on basketball, football, track and field..." Travis frowns, seeming to think more about it. "I don't think I have heard anything on the tennis team there. No one really talks about it."
"W-Well...I'll try to change that narrative." I nod firmly, seeing him smile at me. "I don't think I can enroll n-now... Probably have to wait until January, right?"
Travis nods slowly, not looking certain about it.
"I'll ask my Coach later on today. I have to go there to check up on some things...would you like to-?"
"Yes I'll come!" I exclaim excitedly, and a bright smile grows on his face. I see others look over at me, but it wasn't a weird stare. They were just curious and I'm fine with curiosity. "This is g-great! I can go to your school, I can try a-and see what you do. I will...I will be so happy. I am, r-right now, so happy."
I lean into him, sighing happily because I was just that happy.
We see Travis' parents roll mainly my suitcases over since I had six, Travis only brought one. I wanted to push two of them, but the three of them were insistent on me not doing anything. Which...for some odd reason, I'm fine with now. Before I'd fight against that and try to take it, but I didn't care to do anything.
This was perfect.
"Someone seems to enjoy the pregnant life." Mama murmurs to me, and I smile as I shrug shyly.
"Only a-a little."
"You can admit it, I'd be very fine with that. I'd be proud if you said that was the case...let's leave those two alone." She pulls me back, Travis and his dad walking forward a bit. I saw him glance back at me only for his mom to gesture for him to face forward.
Once he did she smirks at me, raising her eyebrow.
"Travis is abiding to everything you want, right?" She asks me, and I didn't know if I should say what I wanted...
"I-I mean, yes in a technical and necessary and caring way; b-but...um..." I feel my face heat up as she waits for me to speak. "I don't k-know if I-I should s-s-say this.'
"Mimi...you're talking to your mama here," She states, and I feel my eyes soften on her, "What we talk about is between us."
I bite my lip, looking at Travis again. Only to look back at her and exhale shakily in shame.
"You k-know how we made the baby? The p-process...th-that, um...he doesn't want t-to have...that with me b-because he's scared of h-his lack of control. I said it w-was fine, but he's all scared and h-he keeps teasing me. I-I just want th-that...a lot, but he says h-he wants it too; but won't act on it out of f-fear." I confess to her shyly, and I see her seem to sympathize with me.
"When I was pregnant I had those same wants. I was more commanding on what I want and his dad came to learn after Travis not to question my wants. It only goes bad for him, not me." She shrugs, smiling as I look at Travis. "Just be more firm on it! If he teases and isn't giving you, the baby maker, what you want - punish him!"
I gasp, blushing as I wasn't sure about that.
"I...I don't want to h-hit him."
"Not that kind of punishment." She snickers, causing me to blush more. "Punish him by showing him what he's missing. If he suddenly wants to act on those desires and give in, don't let him. It might be hard to not act on them as well, but you can go in slightly. Then when it gets heavy, pull back!"
I began to find that plan quite good. Instead of him teasing me...it could be me now!
"I could do that...I will do that!"
"You'll do what?" I hear Travis, him and his dad looking at us now as we were at his car.
"Nothing! Put your bags in the car! Your dad and I need to go home and get the house ready. Hurry up and do what you guys gotta do at your college." She pushes him forward and he starts, looking at me. "Don't forget."
She rests her hand on my stomach, and I smile at her.
"Thank you...Primy says thank you very m-much." I murmur, and she smiles. As her and his dad walk away, I look at him.
I see his eyebrow raised on me because I know he was curious on what we talked about. I just smile at him, seeing him almost about to ask me. Until I pressed my finger to my lips when he was about to ask.
"I'm not t-telling you." I state fast, and he frowns.
"Why not? My mom has you keeping secrets now?" He snorts, closing the trunk as there were four bags left.
"I wouldn't say that." I hum, opening the door for him as he puts the rest in the backseat. "You have s-secrets Travis."
"Do I?" He raises his eyebrow, and I shrug. "I'll let it be. I guess I'll just have to wonder in sadness."
I look at him, seeing him begin to pout.
He's teasing me again!
Two can play that game!
I go towards him, resting my hand on his chest. He looks as I come close as if I was going to kiss him, and right when he leaned forward I press a kiss to my hand on his chest. Pulling back now, he looked at me in shock.
"Let's go to your college, I-I can't wait!" I smile, going to the passenger side. He got in looking taken aback, glancing at me once as I grin. Only to face forward as he chuckles.
"Okay...let's see who lasts longest."
_______________________👀
Travis...oh Travis... 🥴
it certainly won't be you. 🙇🏽♀️
that's too bad. 🤭
maybe if you just gave in... 😮💨
it wouldn't have come to this. 🤷🏽♀️
oh well. 😌
- yolo✨