Summary: When Natasha and Yelena go to visit Melina and Alexei, things grow too overwhelming for Natasha and Yelena has to pull Natasha away before she breaks down in front of everyone. Once they are in the privacy of their own room, Natasha falls apart.
"Natasha! Yelena! It is good to see you! You two came in so late last night that I missed greeting you!" Alexei told the two girls jovially as they entered the room.
The two women had come to visit Melina and Alexei, and they had arrived so late in the night that Alexei had fallen asleep waiting on them to get there. Melina had received them warmly, guiding them to their room and helping them with their luggage.
However, now that Alexei had the opportunity to see them, he was offering them a greeting as big and loud as he always was.
To Yelena's surprise, Natasha stiffened up at the words and at Alexei standing up quickly to rush over to them. But before Yelena could consider this too much, they were both enveloped in a hug quickly and Yelena immediately noticed how Natasha almost jerked violently against the contact.
As soon as he let go of the both of them, he reached out to Natasha, his eyes aglow as he looked at the eldest of the two, raising his hand to grab onto the back of her neck affectionately. Natasha flinched at the contact, her eyes slowly growing in wideness as she stared at Alexei.
"My big girl, it is so good to see you again! You look more muscled and more healthy than you were when I last saw you!" he happily babbled on, carrying on what was effectively a one-sided conversation as Natasha stiffened and grew more and more visibly uncomfortable.
Now that Yelena had time to study her sister, Yelena could see precisely where this was going. It was honestly scary to see that skittish, terrified look in Natasha's eyes that was slowly building with every passing moment that Alexei continued to speak and squeeze at her neck gently.
When they had woken up that morning, Yelena had known something was a bit off with Natasha, but she had chalked it off to Natasha just feeling weird and awkward from having to face their strange parental situation.
But now she knew it ran much deeper than that.
"Let go of her," Yelena told him suddenly, the words falling from her lips quickly, and Alexei just laughed, thinking that she was joking.
"Oh, come now, Yelena! I am just trying to get her to relay a message to my number one adversary—"
"Let go now," Yelena interrupted Alexei immediately, her tone dangerous as her eyes locked onto Natasha's frozen form. Alexei looked at her cluelessly for a long moment, his hand still frustratingly grasped around the back of Natasha's neck in a fond hold. She had managed to shut him up, but he was still completely at a loss as to what she was saying.
Yelena knew he honestly meant nothing by it, and he was just cluelessly trying to talk to Natasha to somehow communicate his fondness for her, but she also knew that if he held onto Natasha much longer, there was a strong likelihood that the redhead would either break down, try to hurt him, or maybe both.
Yelena stepped up, hating to put her hands on Natasha, but feeling that it was the only way to get her out of Alexei's grasp. She took Natasha's arm gently, pulling her from Alexei's hold firmly, and Yelena then immediately released her sister.
Yelena met Natasha's eyes at that moment, seeing the terror and panic increasingly building in the older woman's eyes.
"You good?" Yelena questioned, and she could feel Alexei staring at the both of them as he tried to decipher the situation. Yelena completely ignored him in favor of keeping her gaze locked onto Natasha's light greens.
Natasha offered an imperceptible shake of her head, and Yelena knew that she must really be on the verge of breaking down if she was actually admitting to not being completely fine. Yelena nodded.
"Alright, come on. Let's go to our room," Yelena gently offered, but there was no room for discussion in her tone. She could feel Alexei's need to say something, and Yelena turned quickly as she walked behind Natasha. She gave him a warning glance, shaking her head in an attempt to convey to him that he did not need to follow them.
Naturally, he somehow completely missed this cue, and he started forward, coming after the both of them. Yelena managed to catch sight of Natasha's stiffened form, her muscles tensing, and Yelena wasted no time in bracing herself between Natasha and Alexei.
"What is wrong? I didn't mean to—"
"I know, I know! Just... Let me handle this," Yelena expressed, her voice firm as she looked up at the tall man. She could see the concern in his eyes, but despite the fact that he meant well, she could not allow him to interfere with this situation and potentially make it worse than he already had.
Yelena then whispered words of affirmation to Natasha, and Natasha continued walking, her eyes straight ahead as they approached their bedroom. Yelena followed her inside wordlessly and shut the door behind them. She then proceeded to lock it, trying to keep Alexei from interrupting in case her last warning was not clear enough.
Natasha had stopped in the middle of the room and was standing stock still. Yelena then hesitantly approached her. She knew Natasha was exceedingly hesitant about touch at this point, but she also knew how much Natasha always wanted touch during her bad days.
Therefore, Yelena elected to move in front of Natasha and make sure that the redhead could see her and would be aware of any movements before Yelena attempted anything. Yelena stood before her, trying to catch her gaze. Natasha's fists were clenched, and Yelena could see that the older woman was a thousand miles away and on the barest cusps of falling into a full-blown episode.
"Natashka, let's sit down on the bed, okay?" Yelena spoke, and Natasha just barely glanced at her in acknowledgement of the words. She then very hesitantly moved over to the bed. Yelena had never really seen Natasha during a panic attack, and the only reason she recognized the signs was because she herself had experienced them.
Yelena followed the redhead, sitting down near her as Natasha moved to the middle of the bed, her legs crossed. Yelena watched her carefully, resisting the urge to touch her because she was not sure if Natasha was quite ready for it yet despite how she normally would have conducted herself.
"Natashka, look at me," Yelena spoke softly, and Natasha very slowly locked her eyes onto Yelena's. Yelena raised her hand where Natasha could see it and she experimentally reached out to Natasha. As soon as she had just barely made contact, Natasha flinched at the touch. Yelena quickly yet carefully withdrew her hand, and Natasha let out a low whine.
"Do you want me to touch you?" Yelena questioned, trying to understand what Natasha wanted from her. She was not sure if the redhead was in need of the contact or what the reasoning behind the odd sound was.
Natasha let out an odd whimper and Yelena reached out to her again, assuming that Natasha would push her away if she did not want her to touch her again. Yelena very hesitantly and carefully touched Natasha's cheek, and the dam suddenly broke as Natasha collapsed into tears, her body shaking.
Yelena felt fear overtake her for a moment, but she swiftly moved in to very carefully place her hands on Natasha and wrap her arms around her just barely. Natasha immediately clamped onto Yelena's body with a shocking force that Yelena did not know the redhead had in her at this point.
Yelena sharply inhaled before loosening some and rocking Natasha in her arms. Natasha clambered against her, and Yelena just held her.
However, as Natasha persistently remained restless in the hold, Yelena quickly came to the conclusion that Natasha must need something else from her to help her get through this.
"What is it? What do you need?" Yelena questioned, her voice warm and concerned as she turned her head slightly to whisper into Natasha's ear. Natasha took multiple uneven breaths, the exhales coming out terribly shaky as a result of her body's intense quivering.
Natasha finally swallowed hard, her entire body shuddering, and she took in a breath to speak.
"Compress... Help me... Help," Natasha pitifully pleaded, and Yelena just nodded, shushing her quietly as she tried to resist the slight fear that was building inside her at her sister's desperate state.
"Okay, it's okay... How?" Yelena asked her gently, and Natasha swallowed hard, her breaths growing quicker as the overwhelmed emotions increased significantly with her lack of being able to express her meaning.
"It's okay, deep breaths... Tell me what it is, and I'll do it," Yelena slowly told her, trying to emphasize the calmness in an attempt to make Natasha feel calmer about things. Natasha sniffed hard, a sob shaking through her, and Yelena just held her, gently running her hand along Natasha's back.
"I've got you," Yelena whispered, and Natasha pressed her forehead into Yelena's shoulder firmly. Yelena reached her hand up to run her fingers through Natasha's hair. Natasha froze up for a moment, hiccupping.
"Pressure... I need pressure," Natasha confessed finally, and Yelena started to understand better what Natasha meant. Yelena attempted to pull away from her enough so that she could reposition, but it quickly became crystal clear that Natasha was not going to let go of her.
Therefore, Yelena just pushed against Natasha to lay the redhead on her back so that her head was near the headboard. Yelena laid down on top of her, her weight pressing against Natasha. Yelena immediately noticed how Natasha's shuddering decreased a bit with the pressure.
Natasha shuddered just a bit, her fingers digging more deeply into Yelena as her breaths quickened momentarily and a sob ran through her. Yelena kissed the nearest bit of skin that she could reach and Natasha pressed her head into Yelena's shoulder hard.
"Here, come on, focus on the feelings," Yelena expressed, knowing that centering attention upon sensations helped her a lot. She was hoping that it would have the same effect on Natasha. Yelena then brought one of her hands up to run through Natasha's hair. There was sweat starting to form along the older woman's scalp, and Yelena just trailed her fingers through Natasha's thick hair, trying to distract her from the panic that she could practically feel coming off of Natasha in waves.
Natasha stilled just a little with Yelena's ministrations, but Yelena still realized that she was going to need to increase the distracting sensations. She then moved her other hand and wormed it underneath Natasha's shirt and against the redhead's side. She then gently ran her fingers along the bare skin there.
Natasha shivered immediately, a small huff escaping her, and Yelena could not help the slight smile as she realized that it must be a terribly ticklish spot for her to have reacted in the middle of such a vulnerable moment like this.
"Sorry," Yelena whispered, and Natasha just shook her head as Yelena started to move her hand away from the spot. Natasha reached down to grab at Yelena's hand firmly and keep her in place. Yelena looked at her questioningly.
"It's distracting," Natasha admitted roughly, her voice a bit harsh as she tried to regain control of herself. Yelena just nodded barely, continuing in her gentle tickles against Natasha's skin covering her side. Natasha continued to huff just barely and squirm a bit underneath her.
It was not long before Natasha reached her hand down and trapped Yelena's hand against her. Yelena could not help the slight smile as she realized that her sister was coming out of the panic attack. Yelena just allowed her body to more heavily rest against Natasha's, and she rubbed Natasha's side with her palm, the pressure firm enough to avoid tickling her but gentle enough to keep from overwhelming Natasha.
"I'm sorry," Natasha finally whispered, her breaths still the slightest bit shaky, and Yelena shook her head.
"No. We all have bad days. These things happen," Yelena expressed, her voice firm despite the love in the words. She refused to let Natasha feel guilty about any of this. Natasha then quieted, and Yelena repositioned ever so slightly in her place on top of Natasha.
After several long moments, Yelena moved her head to the side slightly to whisper directly into Natasha's ear.
"Are you good if I move over to your side?" Yelena asked, and Natasha hesitated for just a moment before nodding. Yelena very slowly eased off of the redhead, laying down next to the redhead. Yelena then moved nearer to her and gently urged her to turn over on her side so that her back was facing Yelena.
Natasha slowly and hesitantly complied, and Yelena immediately wrapped her arm around her sister's waist as she pulled her nearer so that her back was firmly against Yelena's front. It was a rare day that Yelena played the part of the big spoon, but she always carried the role proudly. She loved any time that she could help her sister through something even though it terrified her to see Natasha in a state like she had been in just a few moments ago.
Yelena always jumped at an opportunity to take care of Natasha. She loved her so much and Natasha always did so much for her that Yelena just wanted to give her older sister all of the care in the world.
To have the opportunity to return some of Natasha's affection and caregiving was a true gift to Yelena.
"This feels weird," Natasha commented with a slight chuckle, and Yelena just opened her eyes, looking at the back of her sister's head curiously, mentally questioning what the redhead meant.
"Why?" Yelena finally asked, and Natasha just huffed slightly.
"I'm never the little spoon," Natasha explained, her voice still a bit shaky, and Yelena nodded slightly, understanding what Natasha meant.
"It's nice, though," Natasha admitted, her voice somewhat small with a bit of her usual strength slipping just barely back into her tone. With the words, Yelena could not resist the urge to tease Natasha at least a little. Natasha seemed to be doing a lot better now, so she felt safe enough to joke just a tiny bit.
"Well, I am an incredible big spoon since I am bigger than you by like a whole inch," Yelena playfully told her, and she could practically feel Natasha's eyeroll.
"Are you okay?" Yelena asked, her tone much gentler as she moved her head forward, pressing her nose against Natasha's shoulder. Natasha nodded slowly, her body loosening in Yelena's embrace more and more with every passing moment. Yelena nodded in satisfaction, calm washing over her to feel the admission.
"Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me. I will always do this for you. I love you," Yelena expressed, and Natasha moved back further against Yelena, snuggling into her arms more fully.
"And I love you, sweet girl."