Callum's POV
I was asleep. Or at least I was until Carter started moving around.
One second I was asleep dreaming of Ryder and Liam going at each other and the next I was hit in the face.
I couldn't help but glare as I rubbed my nose while looking down to Carter. I went to ask him what in the hell he was doing but the little bit of anger I had slipped away when I saw he was still asleep.
I was about to brush it off and turn over so he couldn't hit my face again when I noticed he started to thrash again, this time slapping Ryder in the shoulder but he barely seemed to notice.
I look down to Carter again. His eyes were squeezed shut as he panted while hands clenched at his sides.
I curse to myself as I shoved Liam and Ryder, just trying to wake them up.
"What," Liam whined as he tried to roll back over.
"Carter is having a nightmare and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need help." Liam was quick to get up at that with Ryder following behind him.
"What are we going to do then?"
"I'm going to try to shake him awake," I say knowing full well Carter will be pissed at me later but if it meant waking him up, it would be worth it. "When he's awake he might have a panic attack so get ready for Liam to talk him out of it. And then after all of that is done he will need help going back to sleep so Ryder try not to let on to being scared because he's going to want you."
"It feels like a lot of things can go wrong with this plan," Liam groaned but took a seat at the foot of the bed anyway while Ryder sat on the fair side of Liam's bed.
"Yea but this is the best we've got," I say as I go to shake Carter. I expect for him to jump awake the second I touch his arm like he did the first time I woke him up but he only struggles harder in his sleep.
"He's on those new meds," Ryder says as he stares at Carter. "They are supposed to keep him asleep so it will probably take more to wake him up."
I frown at that. I was really hoping I wasn't going to have to do this. My hands go up to his shoulders before attempting to shake him again, this time a lot harder than the first.
It takes some time but relief runs through me when his eyes pop open as he pushes me away and leans into the headboard. He pants harder while the three of us stay quiet, trying to gauge if he was going to have a panic attack or not.
"How are you feeling," Liam asked after a few minutes. Judging by the look on his face he knew how stupid that question was but it was better than nothing.
Carter says nothing as he effortlessly grabbed Ryder by the collar before pulling him over to his lap. His arms wrapped around his small frame as he stared at the bed in a daze.
"Carter," Liam says again after a while. "Do you want to go for a run?" Carter finally looked up to Liam before shaking his head as he leaned back against the bed and rolling over so he was spooning Ryder in the middle of the bed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Carter only shook his head again. "What would help then?"
"I want a movie," he mumbled, still in a bit of a daze. It was almost like he was having trouble grounding. He and Jax must be fighting or something.
I don't know how long we've been asleep for but the TV had already turned off. I managed to scoot off the bed without Carter seeming to mind. Carter hadn't really watched enough movies to have a favorite yet so I went with one of Jax's favorites so at least one of them would feel better before going back to the bed.
Liam and I sat on either end of the beds while Carter and Ryder hogged the middle. Liam and Ryder both looked like they were about to fall back asleep but Carter glared at the TV.
I can't help but stare at him the second the title card for that dragon movie popped up, Carter was no longer up front.
Jax's eyes lit up as he took in the movie. Ryder seemed to note the change as he looked up at him with a smile.
"Is Carter okay," Ryder asked gently but Jax shrugged as he forced himself to look away from the TV.
"He will be but right now he's still shaken. This wasn't as bad as the last one though so he should be good to go by the morning."
"Are you okay," Liam grumbled as he peaked an eye open. Jax shrugs again.
"It didn't even happen to me. It's kind of like watching a video of it happening. I think I'm mostly reacting our heart rate is still up." Liam hummed at that but didn't really seem to believe it. "Why are both of you all the way over there," he complained after a while.
I couldn't help but smile at that as I scoot closer to him. I thought I was going to be in the doghouse for a while so having Jax ask to cuddle is more than welcoming. Of course, Jax didn't really have a reason to be mad. I was a lot more worried about Carter being pissed.
Jax's POV
Carter had been pretty quiet all day. He wasn't ignoring me thankfully but his anxiety and bit of anger was starting to rub off on me. Thankfully he took over pretty much as soon as we got to our session to let it all out at Andrew.
"I hate these fucking meds," he declared as he settled into the chair. "I had another nightmare last night and Callum had to physically shake me awake from it. I hate it." Andrew frowned at that as he took Carter's folder out.
"I know it's hard but how long has it been since your last nightmare?"
"I don't know. A month now? Maybe two?"
"That's a lot better than every other night isn't it?" Carter frowned at that.
"Yea it's better but that doesn't mean I like it. Callum has a small bruise on his face. I think I hit him on accident."
"Do you want to talk about the nightmare?"
"It was just a flashback, Jax's dad being an asshole like normal. Do you have any other meds that would work better?"
Andrew frowned as he thought.
"All of them are going to keep you asleep and since that's your main problem, there's not really a point in trying anything else."
"Then is there literally anything else you can do to just stop the dreams all together."
"Nothing besides our sessions. Talking it out is what is going to get everything to stop, for the most part at least. I'm afraid with your level of trauma that it will never fully go away but it will get a lot better as our sessions continue."
Carter glares at that.
I'll be honest, I knew we were pretty fucked up for a while but I always thought there would be a day when we didn't have to worry about nightmares or flashbacks. It's a pretty big kick to the balls.
"Great. So we get life long trauma and they can't even manage to put his dad in jail," Carter scoffed.
"They still could if you or Jax testified about his abuse," Andrew said as he leaned forward and put his forearms on the desk.
"Why would I do that? So he can get pissed off at us, then go to jail for a few months, get out on 'good behavior', and then come back and find us to do it all over again? Yea, I don't think I'll be doing that." Andrew frowned at that but nodded as he leaned back.
"I understand why you say that but if he did go to jail you could always get a restraining order. Or you could do that even without him going to jail if he ever comes back to the states."
"Because up until now he has been such a good, law abiding, citizen. By the time the police show he could have us in the back of a car headed back to Mexico." Andrew's frown only deepened but he could see Carter wasn't going to budge on this.
The two of them were quiet for a minute.
"Does Jax have anything else to say?" He asked but we all knew he was really asking for me to front for the last few minutes of the session. "How are you doing," he asked almost as soon as I was up front.
"Decent I guess. Not really much to report to be honest."
"Are you excited about the Town day coming up? You'll actually be able to go to this one," he said excitedly.
"It will be fun to go on a real date with all of them but I'm not really letting myself get excited. I don't want to get happy just for something else to happen like last time." Andrew frowned at that.
"Nothing will happen this time."
"That's what everyone said last time too and then I got knocked out and dragged to an underground fighting ring."
I expect for Andrew to frown again but he smiles.
"What are the chances of that ever happening twice in a row though?"
Last updated June 18, 2021
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