Liam's POV
Everything was fine and then in a matter of seconds, it wasn't. One second we were just joking around, being the cutest poly couple every, then it just wasn't.
Jax closed his for only a few seconds but when he opened them again, it was like I was looking at a complete stranger.
Jax's eyes looked around the room, looking as confused and pissed off as ever but I could tell that this wasn't our Jax.
Jax's body jumped off the bed before he pressed his back to the nearest wall. His arms come up to guard his face as he stares at the three of us angrily. Had Jax been in charge I would know that he was faking the anger but I couldn't tell with this new person.
"Hi," Callum said after a few minutes of complete silence I the room. "I'm Callum." Jax's body looks over at Callum before looking back at the rest of us expectedly but his guard doesn't fall.
"I'm Liam."
"And I'm Ryder."
"We're friends of Jax," Callum said hesitantly. I was a bit sad that he didn't call us his boyfriends but we didn't know this dude. If he really was a different person than Jax, they could be homophobic like Jax's dad. "What's your name?"
"Carter," he huffed out, Jax's hands still guarding his face but he seemed less tense now. "You know Jax?" He seemed to know the answer and was mostly asking to confirm before he allowed himself to fully calm down.
It was so weird. He looked like Jax but that's all that tied him to our boyfriend. His voice came out of Jax's mouth but he didn't sound like Jax. He used Jax's body to move but he didn't move the way Jax does. Hell, he almost didn't even look like Jax in some ways.
"He's our boyfriend," Callum said after a few minutes of deciding what to say.
Carter made Jax's face form a frown for a second but he doesn't dwell on it. His hands slowly slipped from his face as he looked over at us as if he didn't know what to do next.
"Have we met before?" Ryder asked from his place behind Callum.
Carter looked back at Ryder as if he was studying every feature in Ryder's face.
"Yes." He stated simply. "I almost hit you." He clarified before continuing to look around the room.
To be honest, I didn't know what to do anymore. I've gotten so used to reading Jax but reading someone else in his body seemed to be impossible.
"How old are you?" Callum asked casually, as if he were just meeting a new friend.
"17 like Jax." His eyes un focus for a second before becoming clear again. "He's not happy."
"Who? Jax? You can talk to him," I asked, looking at him skeptically.
"He's mad that I'm here and he's not. He doesn't like that I'm talking to any of you either. I don't think he trusts me."
That made two of us.
"Can Jax come back now?" Ryder asked, still shrinking back against Callum.
"No," Carter stated.
"Why not," Callum grumbled out, trying to hide his anger.
"I have to make sure it's safe first. I tried to a few times but he kept pushing me away."
"Safe from who?"
"Safe from anyone," Carter said as he stalked over to the bathroom before closing the door behind him.
"What are we supposed to do?" Callum asked as soon as Carter shut the door. "Do we bring him to Andrew? Is that what he meant by don't hesitate to come by?"
"I don't fucking know," I admit as I rub my forehead.
"I think we should take him to Andrew," Ryder said as he peaked out from behind Callum. "If Jax keeps pushing him away then there's no telling how long it will be before Carter forces his way out again. Maybe if he meets Andrew now they can get the ball rolling."
"Who is Andrew?" Jax's voice rings through the air, but it's a bit higher pitched than his usual voice. It was almost like Jax was trying to mimic Ryder.
Callum spins around quickly to stare back at Carter, seemingly uneasy on the edge Carter put in his voice.
"He's a friend of ours. He knows Jax too. He wants to meet you."
"He's the young therapist?"
Callum only nods.
"I don't like him. He makes Jax anxious."
"He's trying to help Jax. He just doesn't always know how to but if you could go meet him you can help him figure out how to help."
Carter forced Jax to frown.
"Fine. Take me to him."
Callum seemed a bit relived as he spun around again and out the door with the three of us hot on his heels.
Soon enough Callum's fists began to bang on the door of Andrew's door. Carter flinched at the sound of the loud bang but covers it quickly as anger seeps onto his face when the door opens.
"What happened," Andrew asked the second his eyes landed on Jax's body but he seemed to figure out that this wasn't exactly Jax.
"This is Carter," I say slowly, hoping Andrew understands. "He wants to talk to you." Andrew's eyebrows shoot up as he looked back to Carter. He goes to open his mouth but Carter cuts him off.
"I don't like you."
Andrew frowns at Carter's words as he ushers us into the office yet again.
"You and many others apparently," Andrew answered. "What have I done to make you mad at me?"
"I said I don't like you," Carter repeated. "Not that I was mad, at least, not currently. They said you would want to talk to me."
"I would love to talk to you," Andrew said as he ushered us onto the couch again. The of us did but Carter continued to stand as he stared at Andrew, almost like he was ready to pounce at any sign of aggression.
"I'm assuming you heard me when I was talking to Jax? You know what you are?" Andrew asked after a while, realized that Carter wasn't going to move from his spot.
"I know I'm not Jax and I know this isn't my body but I don't care about that."
"Most systems have roles," Andrew picked up from after a few minutes. "Do you know what your role is?"
The three of us sat there in silence as we watched Andrew and Carter size each other up. It was almost nerve wracking.
"I protect Jax. That's all I need to know. I take over when he can't take care of himself."
"How long have you been with Jax?"
"I've always been with Jax. Whether he liked to admit it or not, he always needed me. I was there before his mom left; I saw there when his dad treated her like crap, I protected him through all of it. He just hid me very well. Every time I tried to come out he would push me away. I used to fight for him though. I doubt he even remembers some of those times. Back then it's like he was too tired to push me away when he had to fight; it made it easier for me to slip though but as he got older he learned that he could suppress me. I don't think he even really knew what was happening when we switched; maybe he just blacked out all together."
"So every time he fought," I say slowly, still trying to wrap my head around this. "It was really you fighting?"
"Any time he won at least," Carter says with a yawn before looking back at Andrew.
"Are there more of you?" Andrew asked, not so subtlety jumping around the word 'alters', not knowing how Carter would act.
"Not yet but I'm sure you know that they could always just appear."
"I'm going to circle back around to the fighting," Andrew said after another pause. "You can't just go around punching people at random anymore. Jax is safe here. You can take a break for a while."
Carter laughs loudly but it was humorless. His laugh booms around the room, sounding so much different from Jax's light, airy, and sarcastic humorless laugh.
"Oh yea, he's just so safe here. Between your pedophilic teachers, the homophobic kids, and the off set guards, yea, I'd say he's very safe here. I might as well just leave him hanging here."
I wanted to ask what he meant by the guards but Andrew opened his mouth before I could but I made a mental note to come back to that.
"Those were all one time things. They will never happen again."
"Well, I would sure as hell hope not," he said, his voice still light but also anger still managed to drip off his voice. It blew my mind how similar yet so different they were from each other. "I would hope you were capable enough to keep rapists out of your schools. I think I'll stick around for a bit longer if you don't mind," he said rhetorically.
Andrew frowned but tried not to dwell on it.
"I didn't mean to say that you had to leave or go dormant but we can't have you throwing punches at everything that breathes. You are only allowed to be violent 3 times here and you two have already been in 2 fights. If you fight too many more times, you'll go to jail."
"You make it seem like I care," Carter said, his voice deadly serious. "I can protect him just as well there than I can here."
"Yes, but Jax's friends are here. Would you take him away from them?"
"His boyfriends mean nothing to me. If he's not safe here, I won't pretend that he is. He can always find more boys somewhere else where he's safer."
My eyes widened at his words. We just got Jax to like us back and now we had to worry about his alter too. Seems like we had a bit more flirting to do.
"His happiness means nothing-" Andrew began to ask but he cut himself off when he noticed Carter acting weird.
His face lost all expression as he stood as straight as a board. His eyes seemed un focused again for a second before emotion washed across his face again.
His face formed a scowl as he looked between the four of us again.
"Jax?" I asked, knowing this didn't seem like Carter anymore.
Jax's eyes darted over to us again before he stomped over to us. Ryder flinched back a bit but Jax's body didn't let him get far. His arms wrapped around Ryder's body, pulling him back into Jax's chest.
"Jax?" I asked again as I stood up, coming to stand by Jax's body.
"I won't let him," he rasped out. I sighed as let myself lean into Jax. His voice was a dead giveaway that this was actually Jax again. "I won't let him make me leave."
"He was just upset," Callum tried to reason as he wrapped his arms around our boyfriend. "I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Jax said nothing, his scowl deepening as he squeezed Ryder harder while also trying to make Callum and I to hug him harder.
"If it makes you feel any better," Andrew began, "we had a good first meeting." Jax glares at him as he pulls away from Ryder as he shrugs Callum and I off.
"You think I care about that right now? This deranged voice in my head just told me that he is willing to make me get kicked out of camp and all you care about is that you got to meet him?"
"I care about both. I can't care about one without the other. Regardless of that though, we had a good meeting."
Jax only chuckles his light humorless chuckle that I have come to find comfort in before turning around walking out all together.
"Keep a closer eye on him tonight," Andrew said before the three of us were able to follow him. "Carter might switch in again and if he does Jax is going to be mad when he gets grounded again so get ready for that. This is pretty much how the next few days are going to be like, I'm afraid."
"Is there anything we can do to keep him from switching," Ryder asked as he inched closer to the door.
"His switching is just a new word for slipping. Any triggers that made him slip before will just be more intense now and will probably make Carter come out and stay for a while."
Callum looked like he wanted to question Andrew more but I began pushing him out the door before he had a chance. Jax needed to calm down before he made Carter slip out again.
"Just remember," Andrew called out as we crossed through the door. "Carter isn't the bad guy, don't treat him like he is. The only reason we want to keep Carter at bay right now is to keep Jax from resenting him until he calms down."
I only nod back to him before slipping out the door and closing it behind me.
Well, I have now watched several youtube videos that you suggested and now I am clearly a professional when it comes to DID (I'm clearly joking), but I do feel much more informed so thank you all for your suggestions.
Last updated May 11, 2021