After Kash left along with Ivy and Desmond I took Lanie upstairs for her first home bath.
I can't believe she is my baby and when she looks at me it's like looking at Gavin.
For some reason that gives me peace and I know Gavin is watching over her from above. He would have been so happy with Lanie being born on his birthday.
I finish bathing her and take her to her room and lay her on the changing table as I grab a diaper and another sleeper so she can get ready for bed.
I put some lotion on her and comb all of her hair and put a cute little pink sleeper on her with sheep on it. I take her over to the rocker and figured I should feed her again before Kash gets back.
She eats and I burp her and I place her in her bed and I grab the monitor so that I can carry it around. I need to do laundry and pick up around the house a little.
I was washing up some dishes when there was a knock at the door and I walked over and looked out and it was Kash.
"Hey! Welcome back!" I said smiling.
"Thanks I got pizza and the book. Where is Lanie?" He asked.
"She is upstairs in her crib. I bathed her and fed her and decided to try out her bed. I have the monitor in case she makes a noise." I said.
"Good call! Umm, I brought pizza hope that works." He smiled.
"Pizza is my favorite," I said grabbing two plates and walking over to the counter.
"I was hoping you would say that. Pizza is my go-to." He said.
"So I was thinking with Shorty keeping the grass cut and the pool will be nice I need a nice umbrella set outside and maybe a fire pit too," I said.
"That's a good idea. You pick one out and we will figure out how to get it in your vehicle." He laughed.
"Deal Kash." I smile eating the last of my pizza.
"So umm do you want me to stay the night with you or what?" He asked.
"You don't have to do that if you don't want to. I think Lanie and I will be ok. I mean we have to learn to be alone." I said.
"I don't mind sleeping on the couch. I mean it is your first night home and I know you don't feel one hundred percent yet and I'm sure she's going to wake you up all night." He laughed.
"Yeah true. I feel bad but none of my rooms have beds yet Kash."
"Oh, that's ok I can sleep on the couch. Let me keep the monitor and if she cries I'll bring her to you." He said.
"I can't pass that up. I'm really tired." I yawn.
"Yeah me too. Have pillow or blanket at least?" He asked.
"Yeah, that closet over there has some spares." I pointed.
I put our plates in the sink and made sure the door is locked when he comes carrying a pillow and a blanket.
"Thanks again, Kash. Goodnight!"
"Your welcome Navy. Goodnight."
I headed upstairs and I stopped by Lanie's room to make sure she was ok and since she was still sleeping I went on to my room to change and lay down.
I changed into my PJs and crawled in bed and fell right to sleep. It was the first time in months I went to sleep and didn't cry or think of Gavin.
A couple of hours later I heard Lanie crying and then I heard Kash coming up the steps to get her. I sit up in bed and wait for him to knock on the door.
"Come on in Kash. I heard her crying."
"Miss Lanie Bug is probably hungry. I brought her a diaper as well because I'm sure she needs to be changed." He said.
"Wow, we are going to turn you in a great dad for someone one day." I smiled as I spread the blanket over me and Lanie latched onto my nipple.
"Question because well I am a man and have no idea but does that hurt?" He asks.
"Breastfeeding? Umm yeah, it depends but it gets sore that's why I have nipple cream."
"Ouch ok, that's all I need to know Navy." He laughs.
"But it's supposed to be better for them with nutrients so that's why I have my mindset on doing it," I said.
I watch as Kash paces around the room but maybe that's because I didn't ask him to sit down.
"Kash has a seat on the bed its fine with me," I said.
"I didn't want to impose or make you feel some kind of way about it. I know how I would feel if someone were to sleep in Morgan's bed." He said.
"I understand... But you know tonight so far is the first night I went right to sleep and didn't cry over Gavin. Maybe it's because I'm so tired or now I have something else to think about." I said.
"I would say the second reason. Helping you and Lanie has kept my mind busy and I haven't had time to think of Morgan or his killer. If I could find him I would finish him." He said.
"Kash! Then you would go to prison and that wouldn't make Morgan happy or me either for that fact. You have become a friend and I enjoy your company and I don't want you going anywhere." I said.
"Thank you! I've never had a girl as a friend and you are pretty cool and well this little lady has already stolen my tattooed heart." He laughed.
"Is your heart tattooed?" I asked.
"Not yet. But maybe one day. I mean what's one more tat." He laughed.
"How many do you have? Do you know?"
"Ummm I think 37 so far."
"Wow, Kash."