Jax's POV
The rest of the day went a lot better than I thought it would.
P.E. was a breeze. History was a lot more bearable with Liam's hand in mine as the lesson went on.
It's something I've come to like. I didn't have any bad scars on my hands; it was the one safe place on my body. The only place they knew was on the table at any point and time.
For once homework was also more bearable. Ryder was with Andrew for his session while Callum, Liam, and I worked for a while until reading came up.
I lay on my back as Liam pulled out our new book for the week. He looked at me with a small frown as I pulled my hands behind my head and looked up at him expectedly.
"Read to me," I say, my eyes locked on his.
"Me reading to you isn't going to help you read better."
"No, but it's going to help me pass this class and it's a lot more interesting."
Seeing that he wasn't going to talk me out of this, Liam sighed as he fixed himself on the end of the bed. Callum sat beside him, following along in his own book as Liam read to us.
I could tell Callum wanted nothing more than come lay down with me but I had a feeling that would be pushing it a bit too far for today. I was already at the point where my clothes were making my skin crawl, too much more for today and I'd end up slipping again. I'd probably end up taking my shirt off after my session was over for the day.
A while later Ryder walks in, looking much better than usual after a session, and announces that it's my turn to go see Andrew.
Any other time I would complain but today I'm sort of relived. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I was ready for Andrew to finally fix whatever the fuck is wrong with me.
"Ryder seemed pretty happy today," he said as soon as I walked into his office. My folder sat on his desk like normal.
"I wonder why," I say with a shrug, hoping I sounded believable.
Yes, Andrew knew I liked guys now but I still didn't like admitting it out loud yet. Any time I think about saying that word my stomach churns and I feel like I'm about to throw up.
Plus, something told me he knew the real reason why anyway, he was just baiting me to see if I would tell him.
"How did the rest of the night go?" He asked as he looked down at my cracked knuckles.
"Better than I thought it would," I admit. "They weren't as mad as I thought they would be. I didn't have a nightmare for once."
"Do you normally have nightmares after you slip?" He asked as he picked up his pen and started writing.
"Nearly every time."
"What are they usually about?"
"Depends on the reason why I slipped. If it would have been like normal I would have had one about fighting, woke up, and have another one about my dad."
He only nods as he continues writing.
"So almost anything can cause you to slip?" He asked as he looked over the paper, almost as if he was reviewing what he wrote.
"Mostly touching and fighting but most things are up in the in air," he nods and crosses something out before re writing it.
"Does the fidget seem to be helping?"
"As much as I hate to admit it, yes." Andrew gave me a look that said I-told-you-so.
"Now that you know it's going to work, do you want to look through the other ones again? Maybe you can find a better fit now that you know what you are looking for."
"I like this one for now. Maybe if I ever break this one I'll look again."
"And how was class?" He asked as he finished writing something.
The question reminded me of my first lesson for the day, which made me glare at Andrew even though it wasn't his fault.
"Abbott is back a week early."
Andrew dropped his pen and looked up at me in disbelief before running his hands through his hair.
"I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't know she was coming back so early or I would have told you last night. The last time I talked to Mary, she said Abbott wouldn't be back until next week.
"How did you handle it?"
"Callum helped a lot and so did your stupid fidget but I still don't want to go back. Is there any other class I could take instead of hers?"
Andrew went quiet as he bit his lip and thought out everything before frowning.
"As far as I know she the only English teacher for your grade. There's nothing I can do about it."
I frown at that but try to keep myself from blowing up at him. It's not like it's his fault.
"You said Callum helped? How?"
"He kept me distracted from her and kept her attention off of me. She tried to keep us apart today but we threatened a kid until he moved."
"I don't approve of your methods but I'm glad you didn't let her stop you. I will personally talk to her tomorrow and see what I can do as far as this seating arrangement goes. I'll also try to make up something about how Callum can't leave your side while you're in her class."
"That would help," I admit.
We were quiet again until Andrew closed his folder and looked up at me with a smile.
"You want to tell me about the boys now?"
My heart sped up as my heart dropped to my stomach which isn't a good combination since I've felt sick all day.
"What about them?" I asked, hoping I could play myself out of it.
"You know what," he said sincerely, his smile slowly dripping off his face.
I try to only shrug as my answer but Andrew's not having any of it.
"As soon as you say it, I'll let you leave for the day," he bargains.
My hand reaches into my pocket and pulls out the small fidget I already rely too much on. My hand shakes around the toy but I force myself to attempt it anyway.
The second I try to use my voice images begin to flash and I begin to slip.
Andrew seems to notice and starts to count for me.
"...8...9.... 10, count with me Jax," he encouraged while I stared at the ground.
"...11," I mumbled, following Andrew's lead.
We continue for a while until we somehow get to 53.
When Andrew is sure I'm back he shoots me an apologetic smile and puts my folder in the top drawer of his desk.
"We had a good session for today," he said, catching my attention again.
"Are you okay?" He asks after a few minutes of me not answering.
I only nod in response but he's not convinced.
"Do you think going to the cabin will help or do you want to stay here?" I'm on my feet and walking to the door before he even finishes his sentence but I pause at the door.
"I don't want to freak out without you here."
"Then it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere."
That was all I needed. Without another word I was out the door.