*depressive thoughts, trauma... a little sad...*
**
george was a good guy. he truly was. he would do anything for you, and he loved you so much. he always wanted to help and make you feel better, or smile.
when you and him first met, you were the girl that didnt smile. it hurt him. you had a beautiful face, but you covered it up with your {H/C} hair, or just never letting anyone see any emotion on it, unless its plain.
when you first started off as friends, you, fred and him, it seemed as if they were your friends, and you were confused and annoyed by their company, which wasnt true. you just werent used to so much happiness and laughter and just the feeling of being so free, that you tried being careful.
george remembers the night you told them what happened, the reason your face was always blank, and the skeleton key to your heart was buried at the bottom of the ocean. how hurt you looked, hands fiddling with each other, voice low and shaky, and how your cheeks stained with trails of tears.
he wanted to wipe them away and kiss you all better, but while listening to your voice, he couldnt. his body wouldnt move, and it seemed like if he'll touch you, youll shatter.
"i dont know how to be happy all the time" he remembers you saying it, and how his heart flutterd with those words, "and id rather not feel happiness, if it means i dont need to feel sadness and pain again" with those words, you stood up and left.
happiness doesnt stay for long.
but with them, it was different. george remembers the first time they made you smile with their jokes. he remembers as you burst out laughing, a full hearty laugh bubbled out of you and revealed your teeth, your body shaking with your giggles.
it was beautiful, he loved seeing you so happy and carefree.
with them-him-happiness stuck.
when you two started dating, he felt like the luckiest guy ever. he promised he'll do everything he can to make you happy and smile, and he kept up to his promise. he was always there for you, and he loved being there for you.
today was your 6 months anniversary. you woke up in the morning with your face nuzzled in georges neck, his face still in your hair. you smiled and leaned in closer to kiss him on the chest, gently, and closing your eyes again, just basking in this morning glow.
a few minutes later, you feel as georges yawns, and kisses the top of your head gently. you pull away and look at his face, eyes still closed as he smiles. "good morning love" his voice was deeper in the morning. giggling, you greeted him back with a gentle "good morning" before leaning up to kiss the edge of his lips.
"im sorry, but i cant stay in bed for long today, i have potions first class" he smiles, kissing you again, and getting up. you forrowed your brows as you watched him strech his hands above his head, flexing his back muscles.
did he forget? why didnt he say anything? hes not the one to forget... right? he loves me...
but without a doubt, he went to the washroom. you stood up and tiptoed to the washroom with him, standing beside him as you both brushed your teeth side by side. you loved doing it, you loved doing everything with george.
and so, you both got ready, not a word about today. feeling insecure and a little too much, you decided not to bring it up.
the day passed. you went through breakfast, smiling, looking around. he didnt say anything throughout the whole time. he didne even seem like he was covering up something, but you could never tell with him.
you went through your classes today, an ear bug annoying you that your boyfriend doesnt really care, anf he forgot. it didnt mean anything to him, and neither did you. your heart ached again, the way it did months before.
you sat in the library with your friend, studying silently for an up coming test. well, at least, you hoped they were studying, you were deep in thought again.
head leaning on your hand, your tired and sad eyes rested on the books infront of you, your quill was lazily held in your hand as you wollowed in self pity.
george forgot. he doesnt really care. i dont matter to him, and thats no surprise i dont.
even though you were with those thoughts, there was still the feeling in you that wanted to give him the gift you got him. you wanted to see him smile, it was always the most beautiful thing you saw, definatly one of your favourite sights, and you wanted to see it.
but now, you were thinking thar all the time he spent with you, laughed with you, smiled with you, it was all nothing. he didnt care, and it was just out of pity. your small gift seemed like it was a waste of time, and he would never like it. you felt emberressed just from thinking about giving it to him, shamed that you thought that it would make him smile. it would never.
swallowing hard, your eyes rimmed with tears as you closed them tightly, the tips of your lips pulling down automatically and your breath became uneven and shaky. this is so stupid!!
"you alright there {Y/N}?" your friend asks, and you look up at them, faking a smile and flashing it forward, "yeah, just thinking" you whispered, looking down at the book again.
its been months since you had to fake a smile and lie about feeling ok. with george you had no reason to. now you had.
**
you didnt feel like eating dinner today, or ever again actually, so you decided to skip it and go and sit outside under the whomping willow, lay down in the grass, look up at the stars, and cry.
the second your back hit the ground, the tears started falling from your eyes and down your temples as your vision went blurry.
you felt disgusting and sad and... nothing. it felt like if you stayed there and decomposed into the ground, nothing much would happen. and not to george either. you couldnt bother him forever, you couldnt hold him back forever.
a whimper left your vocal cords as you cried, and your fingers grabbed onto the grass underneath them, tearing them as you clenched your fists.
"{Y/N}?" your heart beat picked up as you recognised the voice above you, the one and only, george weasley. closing your eyes, you raised your hands to your face and rubbed your eyes with the heels of your hands. "love what are you doing out here?" he asks softly.
his voice made your heart ache even more as you remembered how foolish you were to believe he would actually love you. "you can leave..." your voice is low and shakey and hoarse, and as you finished your sentance your voice broke into a dog like whimper.
"what are you talking about? what happened?" he sits down beside your lying body, his hand coming to your hair to move it behind your ear. the way you flinched away from him violently made him gasp and back up.
"you-you dont need to keep this up-" you cried out, apologizing to him like a fool. "you can just leave... im sorry" you cried as you sat up and got ready to stand up, but he grabbed onto your hand and you stopped in your tracks. "please... ive given you enough prank material... i was your biggest joke... let me just go..." you cried, your cold hand struggling against his hand.
"what are you talking about? love, of course i would never make fun of you..." he whispers as he gets up to stand infront of you. you shook your head as you looked down, "i was stupid enough to think you mean it... its my fault i opened up... i shouldnt have guessed someone would actually accept me..." you cried, and his heart scrunched in his chest.
"love... why are you saying this? you know i love you... all of you... and how much you mean to me..." he whispers. between depression crawling back up to your heart, anxiety, fear, and insecurity panatrating your brain again, you couldnt move.
"is this... did you think i forgot out anniversary?" he asks in a whisper, and your heart beat skips a beat you you stopped trying to get away, looking down, ashamed and emberressed, looking at the grass at your feet. "oh god.." he sighs and pulls you close to his chest, hugging you into him, laying his cheek on top of your head as his arms wrapped around you.
"of course i didnt forget love... i would never... i cant get you out of my mind even when im in class... how could i?" he whispers, and slowly, your heart starts to calm down. "theres not a second i dont spend thinking about you... one way or another... i just wanted to surprise you baby, i wanted to make it special for you, like a picnic dinner for us..." he whispers lowly, hands rubbing on your back.
your breath hitched, your hands coming up to his back and fists clutching on his shirt as you started crying again into his shirt. "im sorry... im so sorry i doubted you..." you kept apologizing, and george started chuckling lowly, patting your back, slowly swaying back and forth.
"i could never forget... you know i love you {Y/N}, i love you with every part of me..." he whispers, kissing your forehead. "i wanted to have a special dinner with you, but i couldnt find you... i knew youd be here..." he whispers, pulling away to hold your face in his hands, thumbs running on your tear stained cheeks.
"get it into your pretty head already... i love you... i love you more then anything else, and nothing could ever change that... i am and always will love you {Y/N}, no matter what. itll take some time for you to get rid of me..." he whispers and gently kisses your wet lips with his own.
"im sorry i made you feel this way..." he whispers between his kisses, "but you have to know that i love you more then anything, and i could never forget the day you made mr the happiest man ever" he smiles down at you, and your heart swells with happiness.
the way he smiled always made you feel warm and happy yourself. "i love you so much george weasley..."
***
i left it open so you could insert your own trauma 😌
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