yes i do know its after eating dissorder awareness week, but i do want to write this. TW! eating disorder, ignorent johnny (a little), and kind of sad?
**
he shouldve seen it before. pay attention to whats happening. to what hes saying. to your pailing skin and poking bones.
he gives you a side look in the car. your head leaning on the window, hand hugging yourself, your other one laces in his own fingers.
--
you and johnny were walking down the street. it was almost dinner time, and you just got out of the car to take a walk over to the restaurant you made reservations at, as there is some time before your table is ready.
it was still warm, and the yellow city lights lit up the street. your hand inside of johnnys, a soft smile painted across your face as you saw him looking around the calm city. he didnt get it much, seeing an empty street with people not jumping up on him. he was calm, and had his smile on him, the one that always made your insides warm.
on your way, you smelled something. it smelled so good! looking to the sides, you spot the little stand with some sign above it, only half lit. the smell of... chips? something fried, for sure, hit your nose, and a pleasent smile streched across your face.
"hey, look" you tugged in his hand and once you had his attention, you pointed to the stand. "lets go" you smiled. "our reservation is in about 15 minutes-" you stopped in your tracks to listen to him, "do you want it now? like an appetizer?" he asks. the smell isnt welcoming for you anymore.
you sigh and restore back to place beside him. "no?" he asks, his arm coming around your waist as you pull your own hands around your stomach, "no, not anymore" you whisper as yoi continue your walk.
when you arrived, johnny watchs as you order a sad serving or tiny soup. when he asks about it, you simply smile, letting him know youre not that hungry.
--
that time when he gave you a plate of food for lunch, and smiled, leaning on the counter with a smile. "enjoy" you smile back and look at the plate with slight hesitation, finally picking up the fork, and start eating.
after a few bites, you smile and sat down the fork. "thanks, but im not that hungry, i ate at work" you smiled back, leaning in to kiss his before quickly scrammbling from the kitchen.
that night, when you were getting ready for bed, you walked from the bathroom immediatly to the mirror in the room in the silky nightgown, pinning it to your body.
"did i gain weight?" you finally ask, examining yourself in the mirror. laughing, johnny puts his phone down, "your ass is looking great" he meant is as a playful remark, you took it as 'thats my way of telling you you did, but i dont want to say it'.
your hands drop to your sides and you close your eyes tightly, daring yourself to cry. you turn around and go to the bed, covering yourself up in a blanket.
he wraps his hands around you and kisses your forehead "you know youre beautiful, right?" he asks lowly. you smile, and snuggle closer to him, not answering his question.
--
the day you went to some event, and while you were getting ready, he walked in to see you standing infront of the mirror, checking the dress. "ohh, someone is looking saucy" he smiles, walking over to you, sliding his hand over youe stomach and kissing your temple, but before he gets a normal reaction, you unhook his hand from your side and go to the closet.
"hey what are you doing?" he asks, watching as you scouted your dresses, pulling out a black one, "i dont feel like this dress" you simply reply.
at the event, he watchs as you count your drinks and refuse any mini foods that were handed out, even though you loved them, calling them 'cute foods', and he watches as youe eyes linger over the girls while you spoke to them.
"are you becoming bi on me?" he asks on the way home, "pardon?" you ask with a smirk, "youve been checking out every girl there" he explains. "well, theyre all just... really pretty, you know. figures and faces and hair.. and hips" you sigh, and the only reaction you get from his is a breathy laugh, and a kiss on the back of your hand.
**
"hey bunny" he smiles as you enter the house, and you turn around to him with a sad smile. "its going to be ok, you know?" he smiles, putting his hands on your waist, your hands holding his sides.
"i know..." you sigh, laying your head on his chest. "dr kane will help, you know she will" he whispers, his hand on the back of your head. "she will" you whisper back, hugging yourself into him.
"and you know how beautiful you are, right? youre my favourite" he smiles, laying his cheek on the top of your head, "i better be" you laugh, kissing his chest.
"i know its not easy... but we will get through it" he whispers, kissing the top of your head, "im here for you, always"
***
mm... just kinda bored. i know its kinda short, and also not so good lmao, but still.
if anyone here needs help, im here for you! understanding you!
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yours, the red demon♧