Anybody Have A Map? (Treebros Parent AU Oneshots)

Murphy Family Headcannons!

Connor:

~ He's like best friends with Cordelia (if you don't know, she's from the musical Falsettos)

~ He let's Charlea watch R rated Horror movies without Evan knowing

~ And then he has to be the one who comforts her after a nightmare after watching said horror movies

~ Once had to break up a fight between Evan and one of the other school moms over brownies

~ Listens to musicals with Charlea

~ Tosses Parker and Jacob in the air when playing, something Evan hates

~ Almost dropped Parker down the stairs when he was a baby... But Evan doesn't know that

~ Steals Charleas leftovers

Evan:

~ Makes the best desserts ever

~ He joins in on the kids begging to get a dog

~ He's obsessed with watching conspiracy theories with Charlea

~ He was out on a business trip when he saw a polysexual pride flag and bought it for Charlea and let's just say, she was really excited to have her first pride flag.

~ Reads the boys to bed every night

~ Once had a panic attack when Charlea came home an hour after curfew. (In her defense, she and some friends had gone to a movie and they ended up getting stuck in traffic and her phone was on silent from the movie so she couldn't hear her phone going off)

~ He's not as hard on the three kids as Connor is

~ He liked to leave little notes on Charleas mirror in her room

Charlea:

~ Obsessed with theatre

~ When she first found out about the show 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S,' she sat in her room for three days and watched every season. She only left her room to use the bathroom, grab something to eat (which she would eat in her room), and get a drink. In those three days, she was forced to shower and stayed in the same sweatshirt and pants.

~ Came out to her entire family on game night (and I mean everyone: Jeremy, Michael, Jared, Alex, Zoe, Alana, Connor, Evan, Heidi, Cynthia, and Larry) where they played a game and they had to swap phone and read out that person search history.

~ She stress bakes

~ Shes in advanced classes

~ When she told everyone that she and Katie were dating, they went apeshit crazy cause they love that girl

~ Does Disney marathons with Evan

~ Her, Connor, and Evan will get stuck in prank wars for like two weeks

Parker:

~ Loves mythical creatures: Fairies, dragons, mermaids, unicorns, you name it

~ All he wants to do is eat, sleep, and play with his toys

~ Takes ballet when he's older

~ He's older by two minutes

~ Takes cookies when no one's looking

~ He could sing you every song from The Little Mermaid perfectly

Jacob:

~ So. Fucking. Hyper. He's like a tiny crackhead

~ He tends to cling to Evan and Connor a lot more than Parker does

~ If he ever has a nightmare, he goes to Charlea instead of Evan and Connor

~ In spring and summer he likes to pick flowers for Charlea

~ His first word was 'fuck'