Anybody Have A Map? (Treebros Parent AU Oneshots)

Fake Identities

Okay okay okay, it's not what you think, trust me. I know it says fake identities, but just hear me out, it's not that bad.

Parker and Jacob: 15 years old

A comforting quiet rang through the small townhome as Evan squirmed around in his seat on the sofa, trying to get comfortable as his eyes scanned the words on the page in front of him. While he was engaged in the world within his novel, he felt a vibration come from the end table beside him, laying down his book and picking it up to answer the incoming call.

"Hey, Jeremy, what's up?"

"Hey, Ev. The boys are still at school, right? They won't get home for a few more hours?"

"Yeah," he responded, after realizing Jeremy couldn't see him nodding. "Do you need them to go over?"

"No, the boys, umm... I've got something that belongs to them that they left something heere the other day. I figured Parker and Jacob would want it back,"

"Oh! Is it Jakes's charger? Because he's complaining that he can't find it anywhere." Evan chuckled, slowly becoming more and more worried with his brother's anxious tone of voice.

"Uh- no, not that," Jeremy's voice trailed off, "they left their fake IDs at here."

As soon as the words left his mouth and went through to the other line, Evan felt his heart stop and sink into his stomach. No. No, it couldn't be true. He didn't want it to be true. He couldn't even fathom the idea of his two fifteen-year-old sons having fake identification.

"No, Jeremy, my kids don't have fake ids. I don't believe you."

"Well I'm holding Parker and Jac- no, sorry, Logan and Janus Sanders fake identifications in my hand right now, and it clearly states that the two are twin brothers who are just over eighteen years old," Jeremy stated, the cold edge of his voice chilling Evan to the bone, sending shivers down his spine.

"I can't believe this. Shit, Jeremy, what if they're doing something horrible? Or illegal?"

"Try not to think like that, Ev, maybe there's a good reason they did it and hid them from you," he said, trying to console his stepbrother. Jeremy took the silence as a hint that Evan was stuck in his own spiral of thoughts. "Evan, listen to me, okay? Everything's going to be fine, I swear. Do you want to stop by and pick them up? I need to run to the store to grab some stuff, but Michael will be home."

Evan sighed, talking to his brother for just a minute more before hanging up the phone and slipping on his New Balance sneakers, hopping into his car, and making his way over to pick up the IDs.

As Jeremy told him, he wasn't home when he arrived, but there stood Michael in the doorway, two fake identifications placed in the palm of his right hand. After making a bit of conversation, Michael and Evan said their farewells, and he headed back to their own home, still slightly furious and confused.

"Connor, I need you down here, now." He scolded, opening the door and setting his keys down.

"Okay," Connor began trotting down the stairs, "but before you say anything, blame your dumbass daughter because she is the one who instigated it and started this whole thing,"

Evan stood at his husband, dumbfounded and unable to process what he was saying. "I... I didn't- I... what are you even talking about?"

His face fell and his eyes widened, realizing that he shouldn't have opened his mouth. "Oh, you weren't- were you not talking about- never mind, what were you saying?"

"What did you two do? You know what, I don't care, just look at these."

Evan extended out his arm and dropped the two pieces of plastic in the palm of Connor's hand, who shook his head in surprise as he scanned over the lettering.

"No, you're kidding me,"

"Nope, these are your sons Logan and Janus Sanders apparently, who are just a bit over eighteen."

"Well, obviously, we need to talk to them when they get home," Connor scoffed, a sharp edge to his voice that made it seem like there was acid rolling off his tongue, "not yell at them of course, just talk to them about it." Earning a nod in return from his lover.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly and consisted of not much more than Connor trying to ease his husband's anxiety that was ever so slowly eating away at him. Evan wanted to believe that they weren't doing anything wrong, that this was going to be alright, but he couldn't know anything for sure.

After what felt like hours and hours of painful waiting, which was only a little less than two hours, the two snapped their heads around to watch their two sons walk through the front door, smiles printed wide upon their faces.

"Hey, dad, hey, papa!" Parker cheered, rushing over to hug his fathers.

"Hi, boys, how was school?"

"Great!" Jacob let his backpack slip off his shoulders and onto the hardwood floor. "And because of the state tests next week, they're not giving us homework!"

"That's great, honey! But, we need to talk," Connor frowned, motioning for them to sit down, which they hesitantly accepted.

"Bubba, Jake, is there anything you'd like to tell us?" The two brothers shook their heads. "Okay, then can you tell us what these are?"

Parker and Jacob watched as their father dropped an item in their hands, knowing almost immediately what they were. While Jacob stayed poker-faced and calm, Parker's lip began to quiver and shoulders began to tremble.

"I don't know what these- Parker!" Jacob groaned, seeing his twin start to lose his composure and let salty tears roll down his rosy cheeks.

"Sorry," he used his arm to wipe his eyes before any more drops could escape, "I don't know what they are."

"Oh, Parker," Connor placed a hand on top of his sons, "we're not mad at you both, could you just tell us why you have them?"

Jacob rubbed both of the palms of his hands over his face, mumbling something inaudible as he did. The two husbands asked him to speak up, to which he mumbled something under his breath one more time, but the third time, he said it loud enough for the entire house to hear.

"We needed the IDs because you can't play with the puppies at Petco without an adult when you're underage!"

Silence fell upon the four, but the quiet was soon broken by Connor and Evan breaking out into laughs. At this point, Connor had been giggling so hard he was starting to tear up, covering his mouth to muffle the sounds of his amusement.

"Ugh, are we grounded?" Jacob groaned, rolling his eyes at his fathers.

"No," Evan snorted, trying to regain his composure, "no, you don't deserve that, you didn't do anything bad. We're going to do something different. We're going to tell your sister, who's definitely going to tell Katie and all of her friends, and we're going to make sure the whole family knows what you did."

"No!" Parker protested. "That's even worse!"

"Then maybe that'll teach you not to hide fake IDs from us, boys,"

Hey humans!! This is based on an incorrect quote I saw on Pinterest and I thought it would be a cute little oneshot. I hope you enjoyed this and I love you all!! ❤️