𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 • 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

Flutter

Yeosang walked through the dorms halls heading in the direction of the entrance that would lead him to the car park.

He knew he should be calm considering he'd gotten his outfit out of the way, but he still couldn't help but fidget out of nervousness, flicking his bag from one hand to the other.

"It's your first date with San and one on one with a guy if I'm correct" Seonghwa had said and Yeosang couldn't help but allow that one sentence to swim around in his mind wreaking further havoc and turmoil than his own conscious had already made.

Yeosang may have been on hundreds of dates with girls throughout his time as a man in denial of his sexuality and being, and yes he'd been on a group date twice now if he included the sleepover at Wooyoung's as well as the official date at San's, but this date was different. It was his first date with a guy, and a date where it was just himself alone with someone he actually has genuine feelings for, not forced feelings.

Yeosang was suddenly wondering whether maybe he should act a certain way or just be himself. But was being himself too casual? How were guys who like each other supposed to treat each other? Just why was it that he was suddenly thinking about how he should act when he had been completely fine with both San and Wooyoung prior?

Yeosang tried to draw on his knowledge of dates back when he was dating solely girls. Those were one on one dates so perhaps if he could understand what he did back then maybe he would be ok now? Maybe he could figure things out?

Yeosang thought for a moment as he mindlessly walked. On dates with girls he'd try to be the stronger, responsible, confident person, he'd be the type of person that the majority of society and his parents expected of him to be. Although he may have forced himself into his relationships, that didn't mean he didn't care about the girls he was with, hence he'd also be the guy to strive to take care of their wellbeing.

So he would buy the meal on the first date, he'd bring flowers or little gifts, he'd open doors and pull out chairs for his girlfriends to sit in, he'd be the one to take their hand and keep them close, and his hand would always be on top and his girlfriends on the bottom because that's how they always liked it, he'd make sure they got home safely sometimes even driving them to wherever they were going or home when he still had his car, and overall he would make sure that his girlfriends or planned to be girlfriends were happy and content.

While all of these things were good and he could technically do them for San, a part of Yeosang suddenly realised that he didn't want that, he wanted San to take care of him instead. A bit like how Wooyoung would take care of him, except where Wooyoung took care of him in a general wellbeing sense San in this case would be more date centric.

In Yeosang's mind it suddenly became clearer. It wasn't that he thought he should act a particular way, but rather he wanted to be treated a particular way.

Yeosang wanted to be the one being doted on for once not the other way around, he wanted someone to bring him flowers and not have to lift a finger as a door was opened or his chair was pulled out for him, he didn't want to hold someone's hand and lead he wanted to be led.

But Yeosang was a guy, San was a guy. Would San want to take care of him? Did San expect that he was the one that would be taken care of? Or perhaps it was each to their own; you take care of yourself? Yeosang was scared whether San would accept or deny him of his wishes.

San was picking him up so in a way he was already taking a more dominant role, but that's because Yeosang had no car so he couldn't drive, and Yeosang knew that San just wanted him to avoid taking the bus so he could save money and also so they could be together longer.