𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 • 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

Growing up

Last night for Yeosang was unexpected but it made him feel more alive than he'd ever felt in his whole life, and the whole experience was both thrilling and also very reassuring, because Yeosang, only a few months ago, had finally reached a huge milestone in his life; accepting and coming out about his sexuality.

Yeosang had grown up in a household that was very much against same sex couples and anyone who was androgynous in appearance.

His parents always made jokes and snide remarks on people who didn't fit their standards of the ideal Male and Female and if anything was going wrong in the world it was always "Those blasted gays fault".

Unfortunately for Yeosang he copped a lot of scolding from his parents right from a very young age. Anytime he had acted too girly or had showed an interest in anything they deemed 'For Girls Only' such as his sisters dolls or dresses, they would send him to bed without supper.

Over the years Yeosang was constantly told that if he were to ever come out as gay that he would no longer be welcome under their roof.

Yeosang didn't know the true weight of those words until the end of grade 6.

When Wooyoung had come out as gay on the last day of primary school and Yeosang's parents found out, they told Yeosang that Wooyoung was no longer welcome at their house.

Yeosang and Wooyoung had planned to go to the same high school; they were already accepted, had their uniforms ready and had started to buy their school books, but Yeosang's parents didn't want their son associating with Wooyoung and they pulled him out of his new school and sent him to a different one so they would no longer be together.

It was hard hearing his parents spit all over Wooyoung saying how he was disgusting and that he was a bad influence. They blamed Wooyoung for Yeosang's continued interest in things they deemed only for girls, and not even the fact that Wooyoung was still practically a child could stop them from spitting fire. "Once a gay, always a gay. It's that boys fault that our Yeosang has strayed and has continued to stray even though he knows better" his mother would say. 

Yeosang knew for a fact that it wasn't Wooyoung's fault, how could it be Wooyoung's fault when Wooyoung himself didn't like the sort of things they said were specifically for girls? Yeosang liked looking at stereotypically girly things such as dresses and bows because he was interested in them himself, not because Wooyoung was interested in them and hence he should be too. Wooyoung liked soccer, circuit boards and video games. So the influence the younger had was completely different.

Prior to Wooyoung coming out Yeosang could admit that he believed everything his parents had said about 'gay' people being bad, but after Wooyoung had come out all the values and beliefs that had been imposed on him shattered.

Wooyoung was Yeosang's own personal proof that being gay wasn't bad.

Even though Yeosang's parent's had sent him to a different high school and had tried to split them apart it didn't stop him from sneaking out to hang out with the boy. Wooyoung was his best friend and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

Wooyoung coming out had opened a door within Yeosang's mind, wanting to be more educated on his friend he'd started to do his own research and in doing so he began to question his own sexuality and consequently his feelings.

Yeosang had always liked Wooyoung's laugh, his smiles, his hugs, and he realised it because Wooyoung wasn't just his best friend, but also his crush, he'd just been to closed off to see until now.

But Yeosang knew that admitting that he liked Wooyoung meant that he'd have to admit he wasn't straight; that he didn't fit into the cookie cutter life style his parents had carved for him, and that was terrifying.