Under the spotlight

Chapter 40: Proving Agnes

A dress hugged my thighs and the sun hit my face. There was a flower field surrounding me and it was peaceful, quiet. Only the sound of leaves moving and birds singing. But then, a cloud hid the sun. The birds turned into crows and ran across the sky. I stood up from the grass and saw how all the colors from the field turned into raw images. The green into black and the pink into blood red. I started running, chasing the color that was quickly fading away.

Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed my ankles and pulled me down. The hands dragged me all the way back and once I was surrounded by darkness they flipped me over and the creepiest smile appeared in front of me. Charles was the one holding me and touching me. I fought against his hold but it did nothing.

"Please," I cried out desperately.

"Please what? I'm not going to hurt you," He started to tug at my dress but I was stronger and finally broke from his grip.

I ran again, now locked in a dark room. I was running while simultaneously trying to look behind me when I crashed into a wall. No, let me correct myself, it wasn't a wall, it was a chest. I looked up and found the faces of the three people I needed the most. The three boys were there, finally saving me.

"Thank you so much," I said hugging them but they stood still, their faces turning into that creepy smirk I so much despised. "What's happening?"

"Where are you going darling?" Nikolai caressed my cheek but it wasn't warm as usual, no, it held a cold touch that made me shiver uncomfortably.

"Darling go back there," Sebastian pointed at the centre of the room where Charles was approaching.

"What? No, no," I tried to step back but Dominique was holding my wrists. He started dragging me towards the centre while I fought against his grip. "No! Please! Dominique!"

My screams muffled when his hand came to my mouth. I couldn't breathe, my heart felt like wanting to get away from my chest. My body trembled with his evil grip. And suddenly, when I was back under Charles, I didn't know what else to do. I let his hand travel under my dress and I let him touch me. I closed my eyes with tears on them.

Tuesday, November the 8th.

I woke up without a scream, just trembling and sweating. The feeling of his hands still pressed against my body. I knew there were tears on my cheeks but somehow, and with my body still aching, I made my way to the bathroom. The girl I saw in the reflection wasn't me. I wasn't that destroyed fragile girl. I swept the tears away from my face and quickly turned the shower on.

I needed to wash my body, I felt disgusting. The water wasn't one hundred percent effective but it did the trick. I scraped the soap harshly against my arms and stomach and hips. Everything ended up washed up but the feeling was still there. Like always I just smiled and tried to ignore that tightening feeling inside my chest, the nightmare wasn't going to make my day any worse. It had been all a dream, was the only thing I could tell myself, it was just a dream...

(...)

When I got out of my room I was surprised to see Jules and Sarah sleeping on the living couch. They were half naked and were cuddling together. I tiptoed around the kitchen isle and made myself a couple toasts and a coffee. It was very early in the morning but I had a reason to. I needed to prove to Katarina that I was totally capable of dancing my solo.

Something clicked inside of me yesterday, something I hadn't wanted to admit and was buried far far away. I had never wanted to say it out loud, but I was jealous of my "friends" back home that did have parents, that were happy, all of them. I put a facade, it was easy, smile for granny, smile at school, tell the doctor that you feel better. It was really easy, but the reality was harsher, more evil.