Under the spotlight

Chapter 20: Nervoussnes

I was expecting more of a reaction coming from them, but instead they surprised me by keeping silence all the way to my dorm. It took me out of guard since I didn't think they cared but now that we had said it I could sense how awkward Dominique felt and how the other two weren't 100% okay with it. Of course I didn't have a mature reaction, oh hell no. I kept my glare to the front and didn't even try to speak.

Watching the busy streets in the city was cool. Since the academy was a bit outside of it I couldn't always come downtown, we only did when Sarah had an event or something, which she was lacking now. I stared at the people performing in every traffic light and all the show signs that invited you to watch Broadway musicals. I recalled all the playbill posters Nikolai had in his room at the 'cottage'. From the corner of my eye I felt how he was going to say something but a phone's rang interrupted him.

"Agnes, I think it's yours," Dominique cleared his throat.

"Oh shit sorry," I said while quickly looking for my phone.

"Language," He scrunched up his nose and I smiled awkwardly while muttering 'sorry'

I knew it was my granny, we hadn't had time to speak in the last few days and she was probably very worried about me.

"¡Hey!" I said.

"Sweetie!! You pick your phone now? Arthur and I have been trying to call you for the past hour but something about you being 'out of line'" She said, mimicking a voice mail's voice and making me laugh. "You weren't out with some cute boy were you?" She laughed and I stared at the three boys in front of me in utter embarrassment, what would granny say if she knew I was with three older guys...

"Oh Granny please!" I groaned.

"You were??" She screamed and I can assure they all heard her. "Oh my god! Arthur, your granddaughter has finally found a boyfriend," My stomach sank at her scream and I gritted my teeth, the others were all holding their laughter.

"Granny..." I tried to say but grandpa was already on the line.

"Pass me to this boy, I want to know who is dragging my daughter somewhere I can not contact her," He said loud enough for it to get through my phone and into their ears and they finally laughed.

"Grandpa, they're...." I swallowed knowing that I had used plural. "I mean they...we, it's not, I'm out with some friends," I finally managed to say.

"You hear that Dorothy? some friends she says, our kid is finally meeting people," He laughed.

"That's it, I'm going to hang out now, you two are a case, seriously," With that, I hung the phone and we all burst out laughing. "I'm so sorry," I told them and the silence we had kept until now finally broke.

"Are you kidding? It was hilarious, your grandparents are the absolute best," Nikolai said holding his stomach to stop laughing.

"Seriously, if they are like that I would love to get to know your parents," Dominique continued and they smiled while still laughing, my grin immediately fading.

As quickly as I could I managed to paste a fake smile on my face, trying to hide the emerging pain in my guts. It still stunk when anyone mentioned them or actually whenever they were brought out of the surface, making all the memories come back in less than a second. They chattered then, the incident long forgotten, once in a while I would say something or laugh at a joke but essentially I was quiet. They didn't ask about it, just let me be and when the car stopped I was the first one out.

I said my goodbyes before rushing inside the dorm's building. I knew Sarah wasn't going to be home so I was going to have time for myself before class. My hand quivered when I tried to slide the key card through the door knob, I had to take a brief second to calm myself and finally open it. The anxiety building up with every minute passing by, it was like a wall was crushing me. In the moment I set a foot inside the dorm I internally relaxed and slid down the door. I crouched on the floor with my hands hugging my legs and trying to bury my face in them. I was crying nonstop and I couldn't restrain myself, my chest rose and fell with rushed breaths and the tears wet the shirt.