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Liberosis:The desire toCare lessAbout things

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Liberosis:
The desire to
Care less
About things.

[◇]

I just can't get him out of my head.

I've been a mess for the past week, I refused to go to school. I'm scared. Ellie tried calling me, so did Jessie because I'm flunking with Cheerleading even though I was fine on Wednesday. I've gotten a couple of calls and messages from Preston also but I refused. The only person I wanted to hear from refused to answer my calls or respond to my text messages. I've called him so many times that night and the other day but no response.

I gave up.

He doesn't want me.

Now it was Friday, apparently, the two teams are having another game at Cresent High. Of course, I wouldn't know about it because I'm not at school. My father filled me in. Just when he was about to leave, he checked up on me before. Once he saw I was still on my bed, hiding myself in the layers of my blanket, he frowned.

"Are you sure you're going to be good all my yourself here?" My father asked and I rolled my eyes in response. "Yes dad," I sighed. I've been perfectly fine feeling like shit for the past four days. Basically five. "I'm sorry this happened. It's all my fault...Covan helped you with the whole Hale thing and I was so driven for the power of the competition that I neglected the way he was actually...a really good person to you. This is all my fault, I..." my father trailed off. He's been apologizing every time he sees me now.

He's right. This happened because of him, I'm not going to deny it. But I'm the one that could've told him. I could've brought Covan home, I had so many opportunities to tell him who my family is and the truth. "It doesn't matter now, dad. Let's just forget about it," I brushed off and swiped the water that was about to run down my cheeks. "Well...tomorrow mom is taking you to get a gown for the gala on Sunday, you can look forward to that," he positively says with intentions of cheering me up.

It's basically a fancy party for all the rich people in town. It happens every year in the local museum. There isn't a purpose, I guess it is to get away from their children and drink free alcohol and eat free food. And of course, spend a ridiculous amount of money on a fancy dress or tuxedo. My parents look forward to it. I guess I wouldn't know until I go. This year will be my first year attending.

"Yes, dad. Can you close the door on your way out," I sighed and turned to my side so could no longer see him. "A-Alright, I'll see you when I get home," he surrendered and shut the door. I closed my eyes, ready to sleep the heartache away. I imagined I was wrapped up in Covan's arms as we watched the stars from the rooftop until the darkness took me.

Covan Harington

Her touch is all I think about. It's more than I dare to think about actually. I don't want to because I need to be productive. Since that dinner on Sunday, I've pushed my all into school and football so I can forget about her. I barely get any sleep, I'm always at the gym at my house or running around the neighborhood.

She's all my brain is pushing me to think about. It feels like punishment. With that thought, I took my last pill before running onto the field. I tried my best to ignore her throughout the game, no doubt I put my all and brought our team to victory, but I would look at the sidelines in hope of seeing her but she wouldn't be there. My fists would clench every time I would spot her father looking at me with intention.

When the game was done, I took my time in going back to the locker room because I needed to be by myself. I only wanted to be with her right now but fuck, she had to keep things from me. Why didn't she tell me? Was that her motive all along? To get close to me to get information about my family? What was her father trying to do? It's a fucking high school, not a business. "We need to talk," I froze in the middle of the dark empty hallway when I heard those words from him.

He has the audacity to speak to me right now.

He's lucky I still have an ounce of respect otherwise he would have been bloodied and on the floor now. Deep breaths, Covan. I repeated positivity as I turned around and looked at my father's old friend in the eye. "I don't think we have anything to speak about sir," I flatly said. He rolled his eyes and walked closer. "Cut the bullshit. You aren't answering her calls, why?" He snapped, clearly annoyed.

I opened my mouth to say something. The door opened and Verena's father quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me into the nearest classroom. Of course. "I don't have to answer to you. I'll reply to your daughter when I want," I politely say, the words still foreign on my tongue. "But you don't understand. This was by doing and during the past couple of days, I realized what you both had was something real...I was the one that told her to get information about the school, I was the one that made her do everything. Before she went to the cops with you, I was the one who stopped her from going to school. The moral of the story, it was my fault and the only reason Verena agreed with any of it is because I threatened, persuaded, and manipulated my own daughter," he revealed.

My face fell when I realized our fathers were no different. My father asked me to become close with Verena to keep the rumors going. I never needed any of that, I genuinely wanted to be with her. And it didn't take long for me to get addicted to her. That's the simplest way to say it, I'm addicted to her. "You just used your daughter like a puppet. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I spat, not holding myself back.

He looked to the ground with guilt and embarrassment captured in his eyes. "I know alright. My sister, your neighbor, helped me realized that I was being irrelevant and there's nothing wrong with my school being second on the rank. I already apologized to Verena but she's not the same. She wouldn't forgive me until you do...just please talk to her and sort this out. I'm sure whatever happened between you two were real...that girl is broken right now," he pleaded.

"When can I see her?" I finally asked. His eyes light up with excitement and hope yet I maintained my cold features. "She'll be at the gala, this is her first year. I know you will be there because you're always there. Please, listen to what I've said and...think about it. I hope you choose the right thing," he answered. Now I have a reason to go to that thing. I never wanted to go before, when I hit fifteen my parents forced me to go because I was becoming of adult age.

"I'll be there," I promised.

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