When I got home from work I made sure to call my mom before going to sleep that night, it was a tough pill to swallow but I knew it was only right and after we got past the awkward stage I just hoped things would be normal.
I decided to call her after making dinner for Kae and Kindley and I got on the porch before dialing her number, just since I felt it was something personal and I wanted to be a bit secluded.
The phone rang for a minute and I swallowed sharply, waiting for it to click. Once it did I took a deep breath, "Hey...Mom."
"Hey Nqiue, how have you been?"
"Ive been fine, how about you?" I said now pacing.
"Thats great to hear, Ive been fine too."
I nodded as if she could see me, things got a bit silent while I tried remembering what she said she wanted to discuss. "You said you uhm, you wanted to talk about Kindley." "Oh, right how could I forget." She said letting out a small laugh and I leaned over the porch railing waiting on her.
"So what exactly did you mean by that?"
"Well, I was listening to you speak at the dinner table about. Well what happened between you and her father and I can completely understand that, And I know I havent always had the most positive things to say about him but...Do you really think its the best idea to keep a child away from their father? I mean you know what its like to grow up without a father, and besides Im sure he loves her so much it just seems sortave cruel to me."
"Well...I dont think Id want her around a man who put his hands on me, or a man who clearly has no respect for women in general. Id rather she grow up and know her morals, know to find a real man who treats her right before having a kid with them then her around a man who doesnt care about her mom and teach her to settle for less. Now that I sit back and think I dont want her around someone who totes a gun like its a cross necklace."
She got silent for a moment, my heart was now beating rapidly at all the tension but I was gonna stand my motherly ground no matter what.
"I can respect that...But it seems as though you're doing this for your own sake, not hers or his."
"Well I carried her 9 months I think I know whats best for my daughter and I, he made the decisions on his own that led to this so now he can deal with the consequences."
"Okay, you're right...Well if he isnt allowed to see her I hope that doesn't prevent my chance of seeing her?"
I smiled at first until I thought about it, something about it just felt off. Im not sure if I was paranoid about her letting Kentrell take her from me last time or if I was getting a sign but I played it off.
"Of course not, anytime you'd like to see her you can just call me and let me know mom."
I could hear the smile in her voice, "Well if thats the case what about this weekend?"
"Alright, that's fine with me. I'll bring her in the morning."
"Okay Nique, I love you."
It caught me off guard, I fought to say it back quickly before hanging up.
"I love you too mom...Ill talk to you later."
"Alright."
I hung up letting go of a breath I didnt know I was holding onto, when I got into the house I set my phone down on the counter coming to the dining table to eat with Kae and Kindley.
"How'd it go?" She asked wrapping spaghetti around her fork.
I shrugged, "It was alright I guess...She wants Kind to see her father but I dont think she understands who Kinds dad is, the type of person he is."
She stuffed the fork into her mouth then covered it before speaking, "What do you mean?"
"Well he's manipulative, he wanted me to live the life he thought his girlfriend should live...And that's not a good one. he put his hands on me that night I left and it wasnt just a smack to the face, he was full on beating me up...Ill never stop saying it but its like I saw the devil that night, I cant see him the same since. And he has no respect for me, to go have sex with my bestfriend? Then ontop of that now she's having his kid and I'm sure they communicate they'll probably be in a relationship before this year is over knowing him. I just cant do it with him, her dads a horrible person and a horrible role model for the men that she'll allow to come into her life."
She nodded, "So what'd your mom say?"
"She respects my decision, she wants to see her."
"Are you gonna let her?"
I thought for a moment placing my fork down, I was just stress playing in my food anyways. "Well, that is her grandmother."
"Just be careful Domonique, you told me what happened last time she was left alone with her."
"Well she was mad at me, I dont know I might just let her see her one time and see how it goes. If I find out anything happen Ill take Kentrell to court, get her full time."
"You dont already?"
"Well I wanted to be fair back then." I said looking at Kindley making sure she was eating.
"Alright well, if you do let your mom see her atleast you can get out now. I know you say you hate the idea of clubbing but who says you have to club with a man? I think you should glow up on his ass, get famous and let him see what he's missing out on. If you havent done him any wrong he'll miss you one day and karma is a b—..." She looked at kind and whispered the rest.
I thought about what she said, it made sense. I had to make the internet love me and sitting home all day wasn't gonna do it, it was time to start getting paid from influencing anyways. I cracked a smile looking up at her and she smiled back, "lets just try a nighr club one day, if you dont like it we dont have to ever do it again."
I nodded and we discussed my 'road to fame' plan the rest of the night until she went to sleep. I stayed up to spend time with Kindley, letting her watch her little youtube shows. I played them on low volume on the tv so she could watch or dance if she felt like and Kae could get her sleep.
She sat down for now looking up at the screen and I smiled, she was getting so big now. 1 and a couple months old, she was walking and could even say some words now. I tried my best to keep her face off the internet but it wasnt so easy for her to be the first born child of Youngboy, they compared her to us all the time but personally she looked like the both of us, it just depended on the day or hairstyle she wore that determined who she favored.
To me she looked like Kentrell right now, her hair pulled up into a little bun. I didn't stop her from listening to her dad or watching his videos, she still wore her little custom made never broke again t shirt all the time, it was her favorite. I loved how much she resembled her dad just as much as I hated it, its like I was always reminded of him.
By the time I looked away from the tv she was already snoozed on the couch with her ipad in her hand, I picked her up bringing her to her bed carefully not to wake her up and set her ipad on her nini table before going to my own room. I could take a shower in the morning before work, right now I was just so tired I nearly passed out on the bed heading off into my own dreamland.
