The Puppet Assassin [TTR sequel]

The Puppet Assassin - Ch 28 [imagine that]

And I knew he was right, I knew what I had said had been unfair. But pride had wormed its way into my thoughts and I couldn’t let it go. I was a little tired of being the passive ‘puppet’.

“Like that statement wouldn’t make me feel guilty. Think it about it Larkin. Not only will I feel bad if you go to bed before me, but when I’m out of this house, when I’m out of your life, don’t you think that you’re pressuring me a little? Surely you don’t want me to stick around because I feel obliged.”

Silence swam into the room and it felt heavy. I closed my eyes and realized what I’d been saying. Out of your life. And I hadn’t said ‘if’ but when. But I didn’t really mean that. If I could stay, I would. But I just couldn’t see any reason for him to always want me around. He’d get over this ‘smell’ issue sooner or later. For all I knew, it could be an excuse for him to get more of a chance of getting with me.

I bit my lip. There I went again. I didn’t exactly trust Larkin but I knew he wasn’t a jerk. He’d protected me many times and he was just too… intelligent.

“Do you feel pressured to be with me?”

I couldn’t hear a hint of anger, fear, relief or amusement in his voice. But the way it had taken so long for him to ask made me think that it wasn’t a question he really wanted to ask but an answer he needed to know.

“There have been times where I’ve felt like you’re moving too fast for me to think but I’ve never thought that I had to be with you.” I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” I added softly. I felt like such an idiot.

“You might…” he said ominously. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“At some point, Larkin,” I said bitterly, “I will be leaving. As much as I appreciate Luke’s help, I’m not going to grow old freeloading in his friend’s house.”

I picked up my clothes and stood to go to the bathroom in order to get changed. I was startled when I saw him standing next to the bed. On the opposite side to me but still… I hadn’t heard him rise.

“Of course not. There’ll come a time when I have to succeed my father and become an Alpha for the Canine Clan. And then we’ll move to Scotland. That is, unless Luke can convince my father to move the pack to Ireland before then.”

Casual, confident and assured. Like there wasn’t any reason to doubt his words.

“How can you trust that I will still want to be with you when that time comes?”

He crossed the room to me and took the clothes from my hands, placing them on the bed, before wrapping his fingers around my palms. “Intuition?” He brought one of my hands to his mouth and ran his lips up my pinky finger to the side of my hand and sucking gently on my wrist. It felt strangely good. Not exactly comforting but it stirred something in me, made me breathe shallower.

“No, it’s not intuition.” He raised his eyes to mine and in the dark the shadows that ran over his face only made him look more alluring. “There’s not much I can say without scaring you away but, Dizelde, I’m rarely wrong.”

He released my hands and retrieved the clothes, passing them to me. “Change. I’ll wait.”

I turned, taking one, helpless glance at his bare chest and undulating abdominals and left for the bathroom. As I changed clothes, my hands were trembling. He was real. This was all real. It just didn’t seem true. I was the assassin, the refugee, and I hadn’t expected to find anyone, let alone find someone so quickly. And it seemed Larkin was determined to be that someone.

Sheesh, his pace was too fast.

I treaded slowly back into the room, a little alarmed to see him still standing there. My eyes still hadn’t readjusted to the light so I couldn’t see his expression. I could feel my heart beating in my tongue, it was so strong.

“I know I make you nervous. I’ll be honest, I enjoy that.” He took a step forward until I was in his arm reach. “But when you start getting scared of me, and avoiding me, it worries me. Because there’s no way I want to scare you off. Anything but.”

He took my hand in his and led me to the bed. He pulled the sheets down and took a step back. “I’m going to try and go slower.”

I stared at him, not quite sure what he meant or what he expected me to do right now.

With his face turned towards the window, I could make out a tiny smirk on his face.

“I’m just going to tuck you in. I’ll sleep outside, in the thermal hammock.” He let go of my hand.

I was slightly surprised, and a little part of me was disappointed. But this would help me to actually decipher my own feelings without his interference. Still… it had been kind of exciting to know he was in the same bed.

“Are you getting in?” he asked.

“I can tuck myself in,” I said quickly and shifted on the spot awkwardly. I felt like I had to say something but I didn’t know what to say.

His shoulders hunched forward and I couldn’t determine whether he was angry or sulking. But he said, “okay,” and didn’t argue. He did, however, reach for and take me by the shoulders. Just like the other day, he bent down and pressed his lips to the top of my head. He held this position for a long moment before rising back up. Once again, I felt like I didn’t deserve it, as if I wasn’t worth his care and affection. I just couldn’t fathom why he liked me at all.