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You know, we all think we would go to heaven when we die.
But to me, I always thought that I'd stay on Earth for a while—as a ghost because I would be able to travel and do whatever I wanted to do as a ghost instead of a person.
I, however, did not think that death would look like this.
My eyes fluttered open, a sudden beeping sound ringing in my ears when I heard people talking. I stirred, my vision stabilizing slowly and my throat dry. My chest hurt and I couldn't move so I just lay there, when I saw many faces looking at me.
Who were they?
Oh. I know who they were—Jung Jaehyun and his girlfriend. Haechan and some woman. Yuta and—
Is this what heaven looked like?
To have all your storybook characters look down on you from above?
"Is she awake?" I heard Lee Haechan asked softly, all of them leaning forward to study me closely.
I groaned, my head suddenly hurting as I began to regain full consciousness.
"Which one of you is going to say 'Welcome to Heaven'?" I asked dully, all of my storybook characters looking at each other, confused. "Okay...Where am I? Is this hell in disguise?"
"Oh, she thinks she's dead," Yuta said and I saw Jeno's familiar face in the background.
"You're not dead," Jeno said to me and I lifted a hand up to press it against my forehead.
"Impossible," I answered. "Don't have to be nice to me. So, do you guys get reincarnated here... or do you just stay in the Garden of Eden?"
"Depends if you're Buddhist or Catholic." Haechan said and I saw Jeno punch him in the shoulder. "Ouch! What—"
"You're not dead," Jeno repeated and I blinked, slowly realizing that I could feel my fingers. "You're not dead. You just had surgery so you might be a bit loopy—'
"Don't listen to Jeno, he's a psychologist. Psychologists are not real doctors," Bunny said from beside Jeno and I frowned. Bunny? Kim Doyoung's sister?
"Right, because vets are real doctors," Jeno said to his girlfriend and my eyes widened.
I wasn't dead.
I tried to sit up rapidly, wincing at the throbbing pain.
"What surgery?" I managed to ask.
"Donor. Heart.." Yuta said to me and I wondered what he was doing there. Actually, what was everyone doing there? I searched the room to see that Doyoung wasn't around.
"Where's Doyoung?"
"Who do you think gave you the heart?" Haechan asked suddenly and I gasped in shock at his words. What did he mean? What did Doyoung do? I choked on my tears and began to panic when I heard a voice from the doorway.
"Oh my god, what did you tell her?" Doyoung asked, walking in with a tray of food.
"What? This is what she gets for not writing a story about me!" Haechan said to Doyoung before whispering to me. "To be fair, he was the one who found you the donor so I wasn't that far off. But! I put a list of facts about me and how I met my girlfriend in Thailand. Here—"
"Lee Haechan, I swear to god," Doyoung said, shaking his head. "She just woke up—"
"I call her Sunshine and so we were both strangers but we met in a bar because her ex-fiancé passed away and she thought I was... very. handsome." Haechan said to me, putting my notebook on the hospital bed. "I wrote a two-page list of what happened so it would be great if you do—"
"Okay, Lee Haechan, not the time," Jaehyun said before smiling at me. "I wish you a speedy recovery, Simonsays. Though, I must add that you didn't get my dimples, right."
"You people—" Doyoung wagged a finger at his friends. "Let the girl rest."
And that is how everyone wished me good luck, Haechan yelling that once I finish his story, he'd publish it for the world to see because of publicity. I was still confused, Kim Doyoung pressing me back down on the bed.
"I'm sorry for my friends," Doyoung told me and I asked him what was going on. "Jeno called me and we saw you passed out. You were already on the donor list. That was my birthday present for you, I just needed to wait for the confirmation and it turned out that it came just in time."
I coughed, swallowing while I tried to process everything.
"Does it mean that I'm not dying anymore?" I asked and Doyoung chuckled, nodding. "Damn. No special privileges anymore, I see."
Silence.
I turned to see Doyoung looking at me, his hand going to cover mine.
"I saw your notebook," he told me and I blinked, trying to remember what I wrote. The memory of me writing his name and mine on the page made my face turn red. I cleared my throat awkwardly, turning away from him.
"I tried, okay?" I said. "I tried to write you with someone else, I just couldn't imagine it. So, I thought that maybe it would be easier to write about us."
"Ahuh." Doyoung hummed and I turned to see him smiling. "Really want to know what that story will turn out like."
I smiled at him when I remembered a very important detail.
"I can't..." I licked my lips. "I can't pay you for the surgery."
My mind went back to when I told him I wouldn't be able to pay him for his time and he replied with:
Pay me with your happiness.
"I can try to work part-time jobs," I told him, Doyoung not looking away. "But it'll take a while... Years even—"
"Pay me with your heart," he butted in and I blinked. "I don't want anything else."
What did that mean? Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
"What does that mean?" I asked, a hand going to squeeze his.
"I know you said that I'm your conclusion, that I'm your ending." Doyoung reached up to brush a finger against my forehead. "I don't want to be your ending."
