And she smiles She's talking to angels She's counting the stars Making a wish on a passing car She's dancing with strangers She's falling apart Waiting for Superman to pick her up In his arms
- Waiting for Superman, Daughtry
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2020
All I ever wanted was a normal life and a normal life I did lead.
A simple girl navigating the world. I knew what I wanted to be and I live my life going through simple routines. Waking up, saying hi to my roommate, going to class. On some days, I had games to play being in the volleyball team, and sometimes after that, I would go and see my boyfriend.
Wonwoo and I have been dating for a while and I wasn't one for short-lived relationships. Relationships were made for me to hold onto and Wonwoo and I started off as friends then to lovers before we ended up vowing that we would end up marrying each other.
Three years after, it seemed like our promise would be broken and I found myself staring at the phone screen with text messages from a couple of my friends from volleyball. I hardly went out and preferred to stay home. Wonwoo was the same... Used to be the same. After he and his friends got into a gang, it seemed like all that had changed.
"You need to talk to him. I saw him at the party last night. He had a girl all over him."
"You okay? Call me if you need to talk."
I closed my eyes. I should have seen it coming. I should have known when he stopped telling me where he was going. When he stopped telling me loved me and when he began to tell me that maybe it was time we tried to go on a "break". Me being me, I thought that it would go back to normal once he realized that I wasn't going to go anywhere.
Maybe he'd appreciate me a bit more.
But that wasn't the case.
He didn't tell me about the party when he should have. A few days ago, he refused to let me unlock his phone to take a photo of the meal, and the whole date he had a sour look on his face. Now, people had spotted him with other women and that was the last straw for me.
I knew I deserved better.
I got up, pulling on my coat and dialing his number just for it to be cut off.
I inhaled sharply. He also had been cutting my calls.
I hated confrontation. It wasn't in me and if people ever asked my friends how I was the words that would be used to describe me would either be bland, sometimes "always confused", and maybe a simple girl who prefers to follow orders rather than lead.
I often went with the flow and that was what Wonwoo liked about me. I didn't like to fight and I didn't enjoy trying to be dominant. I believe power should be shared. It could be soft and it could be vulnerable—that if I showed him I loved him, the trust would come along naturally after that.
