Only Human

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a/n, reader's discretion due to a few pg15 parts. no smut but got to be responsible, y'know. n-city has evolved and i'll be posting a whole table soon so it's easy to know who belongs with who. this chapter is considered an end to kun's. see you very soon!

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"This is a recording. By saying your name and age, you are giving me permission to record this for study purposes."

"Qian Kun. Thirty."

A beat of silence, the faint sound of the metronome repeatedly ticking in the background. Lee Jeno glanced at the man in front of him, the doctor with a dazed look on his face. They had countless sessions of talking therapy. Over and over again, Jeno had to try to make Kun open up.

His issues were internalized ones and there were no big or small issues in Jeno's office. They were all important. Everything mattered.

"Can we try to talk about it one more time?" Jeno asked, Kun gulping. "I know it's a hard memory to visit but..."

Jeno's voice trailed, the male cutting himself off when Kun nodded. Kun leaned back, closing his eyes and transporting himself back to the beginning of 2027. He chewed his bottom lip, telling himself that a lot of what he was going through now was all his fault.

"I had picked up more hours in Saint John's hospital," Kun began. "Just another day. Another day of trying my best. My research was turned down and it took a toll on me."

Kun remembered feeling defeated. It was funny how he was an adult yet he didn't know how to deal with disappointment. Jeno told him that adults had to go through that, too. That it was never going to end and that disappointment was dangerous if one did not know how to accept the end result.

"I worked days and nights, thinking that I had to make up for it." Kun sighed. "I began drinking on the job just to cope. Coffee, whiskey, coffee, whiskey."

Jeno fought the urge to drop his pen and give him a piece of his mind as a friend, not as a therapist but he had to remind himself that he was at a professional session.

"I think the issue before with Jade also hit me hard because I was handling my family and I was exhausted. I just... I was disappointment in myself because I worked so hard to be where I was at but I was miserable," Kun murmured, deep in thought as he transported himself back to that time. "Logically, it did not make any sense to me. Was it my fault that things were not going my way?"

Yes, Jeno thought. But Jeno did not say that, Kun clicking his tongue and pressing his lips together.

"And then one day, I had to go for surgery. Emergency surgery," he said. "I was dazed and I know I should have told them that I was overworked and I had alcohol in my blood but I didn't."

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