Can You Save Me?

Chapter 24

The funeral was everything it should have been. I practically bawled my eyes out the entire time. The boys payed their respect, and Louis even went up and said a few words. Louis. This whole thing has brought us closer if anything.

"You can tell me anything," He had said to me. But I can't. I just can't. I know what you're thinking. What's a relationship if you can't tell him things? Well, I don't know. I just feel like I'm such a burden. That he's sick of me crying and moping around. So now I walk around smiling and being all lovey. I mean, we do have serious talks. And I do tell him a lot. Just not the deep stuff.

I was sitting on my couch when the door bell rang. I opened the door to see Natalie.

"Nat! It's been so long! I'm so sorry!" I hugged her, welcoming her in.

"No its totally fine! You've been going through some stuff, I get that." She smiled reassuringly. We went into my room and sat down.

"I think," She started, "that we need to have one of our long serious talks." I laughed and agreed. With Natalie, I didn't have to pretend I was okay. She understood, because she was going through the same thing. Depression. I always loved how she never tried to say "It's going to be alright" and things like that. It bothered me when people said that because it doesn't fix anything.

"How are you and Niall?" I asked curiously. Natalie blushed.

"We're good! Ever since I attempted, he's been great. He's constantly asking me if I'm okay, and if I'm in a mood he won't leave me alone. It sounds annoying, but it means a lot to me. Knowing he cares. And guess what?!" She exclaimed. I laughed.

"What?" She took a deep breath. Oh lord this better be good.

"He found out about my eating disorder..." My eyes widened.

"Is everything okay? How did he handle it?" I asked sympathetically. Natalie has always battled with her weight. She was perfectly fine though. I was the same way about myself, so I understood how she felt.

"Well he said it wasn't a sudden notice. That he had gradually seen me order small meals, or say I wasn't hungry. He asked me about it, and I told him the truth. I mean I'm not gunna go up to him and tell him, but if he asks me I'll be honest, because I love him."

"Aww that's awesome!" I smiled. She nodded.

" How is everything with you and Louis?" I smiled and thought about him. I explained that I loved him and that I was trying to be strong for him so I wasn't telling him everything. After I was done, I asked what she thought.

"Well, I get why you would try to be strong and everything, but he loves you. He wants to know how you are, and doesn't want you to pretend you're okay. Just be honest with him. It's scary, but I did it and its working fine. You both experienced something awful and you need each other. Open up for him."

We talked for a little while longer until it was time for her to go.

"Bye Nat, don't be a stranger," I said, hugging her at the front door.

"I won't! Keep me updated on everything with Louis,okay?" I nodded, and she left.

A few hours later, Louis came home.

" Louis!" I cheered, greeting him with a kiss at the door. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, lovely." He smiled. Louis was wearing the usual; striped shirt, red skinnys, and suspenders.

We made our way to the couch. Despite all the room, I sat right on his lap.

"How was you're day?" I asked with a smile. He took my hand and squeezed it.

"Ehh it was alright. It would have been better if you were with me." Cheeky boy. I leaned down and kissed him. Our lips had barely brushed when I felt sparks. You know you're really in love if you still get butterflies after being together for so long.

Our lips moved together softly. Louis slid his tongue into my mouth and deepened the kiss. Then all of a sudden, he grabbed my sides and started tickling me.

"Louis!!" I screamed, laughing. "Stop!" He rolled over on top of me.

"Say you love me," He smirked.

"Never," I whispered. I bit my lip, knowing Louis loves it. He stopped tickling me and slowly leaned down to kiss me. Right before our lips touched, when I could feel his breath on mine, I grabbed him and flipped over so I was on top of him.

"Hey!" He said shocked. I smirked and started tickling him. He just sat there, not amused.

"Not ticklish?" I asked awkwardly. This time he was smirking.

"Nope."

We stayed in that position until he gave me a warning look.

"Ahh, I'm sorry," I yelled, running away from him. He chased me around the house, but he was too slow for me.

"I'm gunna get you, love." He said determined.

"Louis William Tomlinson," I said still running, "if you don't stop chasing me I'm going to eat all of your carrots." I looked back to see him stop in his tracks.

"Fineee," He said like a little kid. I walked over and pecked his lips.

Later that night as we were laying in bed together, Louis looked at me. I awkwardly looked back until he spoke.

"How are you?" He asked. Before I answered he added " And the truth this time,please." I nodded.

"I'm starting to feel kind of better I guess. It's just that, I feel so guilty. I feel like its my fault they're gone. I mean, it was my job to protect them." I stopped talking. You know that feeling in you're throat before you cry? That's why. But I forced myself to continue. "And it absolutely kills me knowing that I delivered them, thinking they were alive. I was so happy. And this big weight of it being my fault is killing me." I curled into his chest, crying. It left so good to talk about it to him. He 'shh'd me and rubbed my back. I calmed down soon enough. Louis took a shaky breath.

"Harmony, its not your fault at all. You did everything you needed to do. If anything, its my fault. I was the one driving." A few tears escaped his eyes. " But I can't blame anyone or anything. And you can't either. We will become hateful and it will destroy us. We just need to accept that god needed our babies a little earlier than expected. Their angels, Harmony. I love you more than anything in the world, okay?" I nodded weakly, taking in what he said.

"I love you," I croaked. Louis arm snaked around my waist and we fell asleep together, peacefully at last.

a/n what do you think???? she finally opened up to him! <3 please leave a comment on what you.think and inbox me on what you think should happen next! thank you lovelies xxxx