Can You Save Me?

Chapter 17

Numb. That was exactly what I was feeling. How could I go from having the best boyfriend and friends, to back to feeling so alone? I was staying at Niall's house. The boys were worried about me, and wanted me to stay so they could watch me. I'm just so physically and emotionally drained. 

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I stared at my relection closely, trying to see. Trying to see why this was happening to me. What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I just have a decent relationship? My eyes gazed down to my wrists, and my thighs. I stared at my scars, my battle wounds. After a while, I stopped cutting just because I could, and I did it so I could be reassured that this extreme pain I'm going through is real. I feel like I'm in a room full of people screaming at the top of my lungs, but nobody turns to even give me a glance. 

You're worthless. Nobody likes you anyway, they just feel bad, You know why? Because you're fat, and ugly, and desperate. You're just a pathetic girl. There are a billion other girls in the world, what makes you any better? The voice inside my head was just repeating these words. 

I was suddenly out of breath as I frantically searched my bathroom, until I found a familiar piece of metal. As I slid the razor across my thigh, I didn't shed a tear. I didn't feel anything. I was empty. I was living my life, I was simply just exhisting. After swiping my razor across my thigh multiple times more, I sat there watching the blood fill my deep cuts. I felt almost, pride, when I realized how deep they were. I was proud of myself. 

I pulled on my sweatpants, to cover my new cuts. I didn't even bother to clean them or wipe the blood away. I just didn't care. It's been a few days, and I've just been moping around the house. You know how when you're really upset, you either lose an appetite or gain one? I have absoloutley no appetite at all. And I'm glad. I'm a whale. No wonder Louis did what he's done. Just thinking about it made me even more disgusting about myself. I leaned over and stuck my fingers down my throat, making myself throw up. After brushing my teeth, I relaxed in the living room, on the couch. I felt my phone buzzing, and I pulled it out and looked at it. I lost my breath when I saw the name calling. Louis. I haven't talked to him since what happened, so I figured I would answer. 

"Hello?" I said softly. 

"Harmony," His voice sounded releaved I answered, but desperate. "I'm so sorry." 

I didn't answer, because I had nothing to say. We sat there for a few minutes in silence, listening to each others breath. 

"So how's Brittany?"  I asked, knowing we would eventually have this conversation. 

"Alright I guess. The only thing I allow her to talk to me about is the baby." The baby. Louis baby. In my sister. My sister having my boyfriends baby. Well, ex-boyfriend. I don't really know where we are in our relationship, I just figured we were over. 

"The baby." I stated. He sighed,and I could just imagine him running his hands through his hair. 

"Harmony-" He started, but all of a sudden I felt sickness overwhelm me. I ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up. Weird, I never throw up, well unless I make myself. I didn't feel sick, either. 

"Hello?" I said weakly, when I finally got back to the phone.

"Harmony, are you alright?" He asked, worried. 

"I'm fine. I just, like, threw up really randomly. It's weird because I'm not sick or anything." I said cautiously. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah the baby. Wait, baby? Throwing up for no reason? When was the last time I had my period? I sat there, thinking and counting until I got snapped out of my gaze from Louis, still on the other line. 

"Harmony?? Hello love?" I sighed, frozen in my spot until I finally got the nerve to answer. 

"Louis?" I asked quietly. 

"Yes, love? What's wrong?"

"I think I'm pregnant." 

Plot twist!!!! SO she might be pregnant!! What do you think???? Leave a commment and please vote! thank you so much<3 sorry its so short! ill try to make them longer! this chapter leads to a lot more!