Can You Save Me?

Chapter 23

I was back at home. Well, the boys decided after everything, we should all live together. And whose house did they pick? Mine. Its not like I mind, but I want nothing more than to be by myself, or with Niall. No, nothing like that is going on but he was my support system. He was my best friend right now and I needed him. All of the lads were just really great, though. Except Louis. I know he's getting through this too, but I just can't face him. It's too hard. He keeps trying to talk to me though. For the past few days, I've been locked up in my room. I can always hear Louis trying to get in, and then Liam explaining I was in the 'grieving' stage right now. Of course I was grieving. My fucking babies died, and it was all my fault. All my fault. I couldn't do the one thing a woman is supposed to do.

Liam knocked on the door before coming in with some soup and a cup of tea. He set it down next to me, to make sure I eat it. The boys think I'm going to become all suicidal again so they've been closely watching me.

"You need to eat, love." Liam said softly. I was facing the wall, my back turned at him. I said nothing, as he sighed and walked out of the room. He knew there was no point in arguing with me. Tears formed in my eyes, and streamed down my face as I thought about my babies. I finally found out their gender. Two girls. I named my baby girls Melody and Lana. I got to say bye to them, before I left the hospital. They were so beautiful. Right now they were at the morgue, getting ready for the funeral. It still doesn't seem like theyre gone. Sometimes, I like to pretend they're still in my tummy. It's been quite a few days since I got back from the hospital, and I haven't left my room. Suddenly feeling gross, I decided to sneak into the bathroom to take a shower. It seemed like right when I stepped out, I bumped right into Louis.

"Sorry,love." He whispered, trying to make eye contact, but I refused. I couldnt. I started to walk away but he pulled me back.

"Harmony, you can't keep ignoring me. I lost them too. I lost them too!" I looked up to see his pained face. The boys were exchanging looks in the living room, overhearing us. I took a deep breath, staring into his eyes.

"I know. But its my fault their dead. And I can't even fucking look at you without being reminded of that." His face looked crushed, and the boys looked so shocked. I chocked on a sob and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door and tore my shirt off. Looking into the mirror, it came to me. Sudden realization. They were gone. They were gone and they weren't coming back. I dragged myself down against the wall, sobbing hysterically. Harry quietly stepped in, and sucked in his breath, seeing me like I was. I looked up at him, full of hurt.

"They're gone, they're gone," I cried, my face in my hands. He leaned next to me and hugged me. I cried on him for who knows how long. Minutes, hours, I don't know. After I was done, he ran his fingers through my hair.

"As much as I love here, it really should be Lou in my place. He's sad too, and I know you're hurting but he is too. And he needs you." I sniffed my nose and nodded, sighing.

"I just made a complete fool out of myself. What am I supposed to say?"

Harry sighed, thinking.

"Is there anything you really need to say? You both experienced something completely awful. Something I could never imagine. You can either let this bring you closer or let it tear you apart." I nodded. I needed my Louis back. Not the sad, angry one. The funny, outgoing, romantic one. I got up off the floor.

"Thanks Harry. I appreciate it so much. You have the best advice." He smiled.

"Anytime, love. Now go get your boy back," I nodded, and walked away.

Before going over to him, I went on a detour to the fridge. I walked over to Louis, who was sitting down on the couch, and handed him the bag of carrots.

"Truce?" I said, unsure. He smiled for the first time in weeks, and took it. I cuddled next to him on the couch as he munched away on carrots.

"I love you, Harmony. We can't let this tear us apart."

"I love you too. And I know." I replied. He turned and looked at me carefully.

"So what made you change your mind?" He asked me curiously.

"Louis, we just, I can't grieve over them forever. I can't stay angry at you, myself, God, forever. It'll destroy us. I just think its time to accept what's happened. It's not going to be easy, but its worth a try, you know?" He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so so so proud of you, love."

a/n Yess they made up. please tell me what you think in the comments! thank you so much for reading xxx