Open up (18+ Only)

Chapter 9

It's been over a month now and Amanda and I are really close although she has a best friend who seems like she just tolerates me for Amanda's sake, well I don't mind but I do by all means to avoid her or get out of her way. We have decided to make the school project with our chair mates and then we will combine them afterwards because they were arguing and couldn't reach a final so that's why we have decided that and I'm going to sleep over at Amanda's house and I just hope her sister won't be a bitch. I talked to my mother about that and she agreed and was finally glad I found a friend but I don't think she's my friend, we are just close or is she my friend because I don't even know the meaning of friendship anymore I had someone extremely close. I thought she was my friend because we were very close, she was my sister too but she couldn't tell me everything she was going through until she took her life. What a pity
Craig and I haven't seen each other since that day and I don't know how to feel about that, I'm not sad or happy but I think it's for the best because I'm not ready to be in a relationship anytime until I find myself ,I'm not sure if he is even thinking of being in a relationship.Every situation has damaged me I tried to save my siblings and family but I lost myself the day she lost her life and I just stopped trying. She left a note for me but I never found the courage to read it although I have tried but couldn't push myself until that point, it hurts now it will probably hurt forever because I never saw that coming.

My phone beeped and took me out of my imaginary world
We already late come out now
××Amanda××

I took my back and headed to the door and found Amanda just in time because she was about to knock well I have been walking with her for the past month and it's really nice and she has a crush on the new guy named Blue. Well he seem to be a nice guy.

"Morning" and she attacked me with a hug

"Morning but we are really late so we need to hurry up" Amanda said while panicking

"I can give drop you off if you don't mind" My mother said from behind and I was deciding not

"We are late" Amanda whispered

"Sure" I said and focused my attention to Amanda as we walked to my car and got inside and Selena followed behind. Well Selena is very beautiful unlike me she's darker than me and has one dimple with a very bright smile and we don't go to the same school. I used to go to that school with my sister so everything went from pitifully to too much so I changed.

"Hi how are you?" Selena said with her soft voice to Amanda well our voices is what we have in common 

"Hi I'm good and late how about you?"

"I'm Selena and you Amanda right?" Amanda just smiled and nodding her head and we got into a small conversation until we got to school

"Thank you so much Mrs Adams" Amanda said as we climbed out

"My pleasure and I hope I'll see more of you right"

"Yes Mam"

"Bye girls" and we waved as we walked inside the school and we were just on time

"We still have a lot to talk about and you never told me about your sister, she seems very nice" I didn't know how to respond to that and I just smiled
"I need to go to the bathroom because we about 15 minutes early Thanks to your mother" And we walked inside the toilet and it got crowed ever second and I decided to wait outside and bumped into someone because I was in a rush to just get out

"Sorry." I said

"Luna right?" I looked up and it was Blue so I just smiled and then he took out a paper and gave it to me and he went off well the paper was written for Amanda with his numbers then from Blue. As Amanda walked out her best friend Amelia pulled her and said she needed to talk with her about something serious and we walked to our classroom and I walked behind them, we got to class and Amanda started to be offish and I don't know why and we just went to the assembly and I decided to stand away from her and give space

Amanda
Amelia told me that she saw Luna and Blue being pretty close and Luna knows I really like Blue and I have been cold towards her for the past hour and I feel pretty bad about that but I'm hurting because I just him to like me back but I guess she likes her more and I'll have to accept that, I mean if he can't see the good in me and sees it in Luna than it's okay I guess. I can't lose a friendship for someone who doesn't love me. So I'm just gonna talk with Luna because I don't like the tension between us and besides it's Friday tomorrow we will have to sleep over at my place for the school project and I don't wanna ruin that because she does really understand me and we have talked about more of serious issues concerning my life and life in general, but she never wanted to talk about her. Even though Amelia and I have been best friends for the past two year I don't trust her enough to tell her about some of my life issues because her life is perfect, really, really perfect. I mean she gets to be with both loving and supporting parents and she never needs anything and doesn't need to be through the teenage problems that we face so I on the other hand have to deal with Craig and my father not getting along and step mother issues while she always takes her child's side, well the interesting part about my friendship with Luna she understand what I'm going through and advice's me and with Amelia she doesn't really try to understand where I'm coming from or what I'm going through and she made it seem like I'm being a burden to her with my problems but it is said that don't share your problems with your friends or you will wake up having none. What made trust Luna was that she helped me get over Nash and realized that there's more to life than boys although we shared more but I can't still be with him because I realized my worth and saw that I deserved more and better than to be someone's second best.