The Naive Rebel | ✓

♛| xxx : raging grief |

"Ina-"

"I am here." Her voice comes, I look down seeing her seated on the floor, resting her back on the sofa's side. Her arm's raised as if she is giving her attendance.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Nah Nah, if you haven't noticed my legs are pretty much injured after today's accidents. I don't have the strength to stand while you keep ranting..without a break." She taunts.

Sitting next to her, I turn my face towards her. Waiting for her to explain.

"Now, why are you staring, again?"

"I am waiting for your explanation."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh. So.."

"These bruises are from my great fall. I fell down the entire length of the staircase. And then I fell on the tiled floor hurting my chin." I scowl at her words.

"I don't even know what to reply after hearing your new additions in '1000 (& counting) ways to be clumsy).'

"You want to know about Sameer, or should I leave?" She angrily announces.

"Say."

"Sameer is off the hook. He is Ojas' brother."

"The last boy who committed suicide?"

"Yes. The warden..she is their mother. Sameer has been trying to find the murderer. They are sure it was a murder." And she tells me the reason behind their blind guess.

"So, Sameer is innocent?" I put forth the question.

The question wasn't targeted towards her, instead, I had voiced my thought, forcing my brain to process the new information. I cannot say if he is innocent or not unless I get a proof.

"What do you think, is Sameer as innocent as he acts?"

"I don't know about that. But..but the pain she had in her eyes. The pain of losing her son. The pain that reflected her crushed soul, her defeated hopes. She lost her son. It's so-so difficult to lose someone so close to you." She takes a deep sigh and I look at her intently.

When I don't reply, she continues. "They trust us. They trust me. All those parents who lost their children, so many hopes, expectations are pinged on us. I am scared-what if I fail them. What if-" Her voice breaks.

"I am lying to Mishti, and she trusts me. I am scared."

I understand that there's something which is hurting her. Her constant change in thoughts explains the hurricane of emotions growing within her.

"Hey, we'll figure everything out." I softly add. I gently place my hand on top of hers.

Her gaze is stuck on the floor ahead, thinking something deeply.

"I don't want to break their trust. I don't want them to lose hopes. Because-there is nothing worst than losing hopes. I know how it feels, it kills you from within. Bites our soul and pierces our heart. It makes you dead from within while we have to put the facade of fake smiles on the outside. Faking the fact that you are okay is the dire form of drama. You think you are doing a good job, good job hiding your pain-but the eyes. They reveal the turmoil within so easily, to a point that it's sickening. And what's more, hurting is when you can see them faking it. It used to quash me when I used to see my parents smile when I knew how they had wept themselves to sleep."