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Take a Break

Listening to Hamilton while writing really hits the spot :)

Tords POV

It's been awhile since I have visited Tom in his dreams, but I couldn't bring myself to go. Even though I wanted to see him again, it hurt to much. It wasn't fair to him nor to me. He believes that I'm dead and now just a fragment of his mind.

At this point it's an understatement to say that I've been think of him. He never leaves my thoughts. Most of the time a catch myself staring at him in the old photo, but that was the old Tom.

Because of the lack of sleep I get, I always think I see Tom in the base. It doesn't help that the uniforms have a shit ton of blue on them.

My appearance has changed dramatically. Most of the time I won't even bother to change into my uniform and walk around in my red hoodie. The bags under my eyes are so black it's like I drew them on with a black marker. I let my posture down and was always seen hunched over or just looking at the ground. Seeing the same things over and over again was driving me crazy!

Being in my office doesn't do me any better. Paper after paper, signature after signature, my life is just an endless pattern! Nothing around here is ever fun! The soldiers get to shoot shit and fight whenever while I'm stuck in an office with nothing but my thoughts and papers! I slammed my head against the desk. Hell I have a huge bruise on my forehead from how much I slam my head against the desk!

I heard a knock at my door. "Enter." I mumbled, not bothering to raise my head.

I heard a set of foot steps walk up to my desk.

"Uh. Sir?"

I lifted my head a bit and saw Pat staring at me worriedly.

"Hello Pat, what do you need." I said putting my head back down.

"Sir, I think you should take a break from the army for a bit."

My head shot up. "Why."

"Well, Paul and I have noticed that you don't seem very focused and think you could use a break."

I sat up straight and threw my hands upon the air. "I'm perfectly fine!"

"Sir, with all due respect, your work has been getting sloping and a break will do you some good. At least consider a break."

I nodded and he left. A break, oh please. The Red Leader doesn't need breaks! I looked down at my desk and glared at the stacks of paper that were there. On second thought, maybe a break would be nice. But to where? Maybe, I could visit the guys? Maybe I could finally apologize to them. I just hope they don't shut me out, but I wouldn't blame them if they did.

Then it's settled! A vacation in London it is! But first I gotta find out where they live. I got my laptop out and did some investigating. I forgot I wasn't to good at this kind of stuff so I messaged Pat to get on that.

I shut my laptop and took it with me to my room. I dug out my old suitcase and looked for some clean clothes. I threw in a few T-shirt's and jeans and was basically ready to go. I grabbed my necessities like charger, phone and stuff like that and out them into a back pack. I assume that Paul has already gotten a jet ready for me, so I walked down to where it sure be. When I arrived I was pleased to see everything was ready.

I walked up to Paul and Pat.

"Sir he is the information you requested."

Pat handed me and few sheets of paper with the guys information in it. I thanked him and told Paul he was in charge until I came back.

I boarded the jet and looked over the information. It was just basic information about them but I only really cared about the address. In just a few hours I'll be able to see my old friends again.

Toms POV

I couldn't stop thinking about him. After what happened today I just don't feel right. I had just arrived to the apartment and was met with the worried faces of Edd and Matt. I could tell they were speaking but my hearing aids died on the walk here.

I walked pass them and put the photo and candles down on the table. I looked at the clock and it was now 10, I guess I took my time to come home.

Edd and Matt still looked like they were talking.

"Guys the batteries are dead, but go to bed I'll see you guys tomorrow."

With that, I went into the room, removed my hearing aids putting them off the the side, and laid on my mattress. About 20 minutes later I looked over to see the guys asleep. I slowly got up and left the room. I walked to the kitchen and walked over to a drawer. I opened it, pulling out a knife.

I walked into the he bathroom and closed the door. I carefully pulled up my sleeve revealing cuts littered all over my arm. I held the knife up to my skin, and slowly dragged it across.

Feeling the stinging sensation sent chills down my spin. Cut after cut, I felt myself smiling more and more. My arm was cover in blood, that was my sign to stop. I washed off the blood and wrapped my arm. I rolled down my sleeve and hid the knife under the counter of the bathroom. I walked out of the bathroom and went back to my mattress. I laid down and stared up at the ceiling.

Why the hell am I like this.