Help

Strange Feeling

Life after the incident was, different, to say the least. Because of Tom's harpoon, I had to get a robotic arm due to the loss of my arm. I had also lost the sight in my right eye so I wore an eyepatch. I was still healing from the operation, but that didn't cut me any slack from my work. I'll admit, it was pretty boring. Not even a month had passed and I'm already getting bored of the army again. I didn't really know anyone here except for Paul and Pat, but they're training soldiers, and it's not like I can just go up to them and ask them to leave their positions.

I sighed as I filled out papers on my desk. Every once in awhile I'd take a smoke break or get some food, but other than that, I was in this room from 5am to 2am. That's right, I'm surviving off of 3 hours of sleep. Sometimes I do get to sleep in, but there's always something that wakes me up.

As I was signing a paper, my mind started to wander back to after the incident. Tom passed out in Matt and Edds arms and they panicked like crazy. I think they took him to a hospital or something.

Wonder if I finally got rid of that Jehovah for good. After all those years, good riddance. Won't ever have to hear him drunken at 3 in the morning again, or complain about me being around, or see how the light shines in his voided eyes, or how- wait. What the hell am I saying! It's not like I'd miss seeing his stupid face, or hearing him laugh, or his adorable face. God damnit. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. I can't be thinking like this. Besides, pretty sure he died or something. No use in thinking about him, I've got a whole army to run!

Years of work, hours of my life, all into this army. I have everything I want! Power, control, being feared! It's not like I needed those guys anyways. Edd always cheering us up, or taking us on adventures, or Matt, always looking at himself in mirrors or anything reflective, keeping us entertained or just being good company, or Tom, oh Tom.

"FUCK!"

I slammed my fists into my desk. Why the fuck am I suddenly feeling weird! It's not like I ever really cared for them, right!? I knew this day would come, I planned this day for so long, so why am I now rethinking it all!

I sighed and slumped down in my chair.

All I should care about, is my army. Not rather or not Tom died. But if he did, I should be happy, right? I've always hated him, so this should be a victory. My enemy, died. Actually, come to think of it, why do I hate him. God damnit at this rate I won't be able to get any work done.

I got up from my desk and left my office. As I walked the halls of the base, soldiers would stop what they were doing and salute. It felt empowering to be in this position.

As I arrived to the doors of the cafeteria, I took a deep breathing and made sure I was standing straight and tall. I walked in and only saw a few soldiers. I walked towards the coffee maker and got myself a coffee. I could tell that a lot of the soldiers were confused on why I was here. I would normally send someone else to get me coffee, but I needed to get away from that office.

Having my coffee, I walked back to my office and resumed my work. Although I didn't get much done, I was still thinking about the guys and if Tom was alright. I was so in my thoughts that I almost didn't hear the knock at my door.

"Enter."

The door opened to reveal Paul. He walked to my desk and looked down at the papers on my desk.

"Sir, the new soldiers have completed their training. Would you like them to continue with practice or take time to relax."

"Uh, just relax."

I looked down at my work and felt Paul watching me.

"Sir, with all due respect, you look like shit." He said with a chuckle.

"I know, I know. Just a little, distracted."

Paul and I had been friends for awhile now, the same with Pat. We were pretty close as kids, but not as close as I had always been with the guys.

I zoned off that Paul had to bring me back to real life.

"Sir, are you alright? If you need to talk Pat and I are here to listen."

"Thank you Paul, but that won't be necessary. Now go and have some time off."

"Alright, just don't drive yourself crazy and relax."

With that, he left the room.

God, if only I could Paul. If only I could.