Drive Me Crazy

chapter twelve

I quite literally froze like a deer in headlights. However, Harper jumping up and down in excitement snapped me out of it.

I took in a shaky breath and shot her a look.

"Charlie you sneaky bitch. I freaking knew it. Does your mother know about this? She'll be so excited. I should text her-"

"Whatever you do, don't text my mom about this." I said loudly.

"Why?" She asked, looking puzzled. Then slowly I watched her eyes widen as if something just clicked for her. "You're not pr-"

"No!" I yelled. "Geez Harper I haven't gone from being a virgin to being pregnant all in the span of one night."

She shrugged. "I mean that's really all it takes. A night."

I tapped Jordan on the chest and asked him if he would please do me the honor of killing me. But... like a good boyfriend would, he declined.

"So how long has this been going on?" She asked me before her look became scary. "And why didn't I know about it?"

"Harper it literally happened within the last hour."

"That's not an excuse."

"What? Am I supposed to tell you everything exactly when it happens?"

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes and looked to Jordan who was still standing there leaning on his car, laughing at us. And lucky for him I decided to ignore him.

"My bad Harper. Next time I do anything I'll text you as I'm doing it so you won't be out of the loop."

"Thank you," she said.

I wrinkled my nose. "You know I despise you right?"

She grinned. "I'm just glad you two finally came to your senses. Y'all were a mess."

Jordan choked. The noise drew Harper's attention to him and I knew she was going to pounce.

      She smiled a sickly sweet smile and said, "hey Jordan did you know that my dad's a chef?"

   He looked at me in confusion and when I shrugged he decided it was safe to shake his head no.

"Well he is. And you know what chefs have a lot of?"

His gaze flitted around in confusion. "Um No?"

It was at this point that I decided to assume she had been drinking because even I was lost. I still let her continue because I wanted to know where she was going with this.

"Well Jordan, chefs have a lot of knives. Specifically, really big and really sharp knives. So even though I like you and I think you're a perfect match for my best friend, just know that I'm watching. And I'll be watching with my dad's really big and really sharp knives."

I looked to Jordan and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at the sight of his face. "All right then Harper," I said placatingly.

To really put things in perspective I'll just say Harper was like 100 pounds soaking wet and her and I were the people who would cry after watching Marley and Me.

She ignored me and pointed at Jordan behind me who seemed to be taking her threat in stride. Especially because he was laughing as he said, "Okay Harper I hear you."

***

After Jordan and I departed me and Harper drove to her house where I gave her the rundown of what transpired.