Chapter 36

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"JJ?" Spencer's voice calls me from the bedroom and I enter holding two coffees. The room is still super dark and Spencer is sat up in his bed smiling sleepily. He looks like a child the bed is so big, he makes up for the extra space with lots of cushions and sheets though. They can sometimes be annoying, but it's comfy and definitely keeps me warm in the December cold.

I place the mugs on his bedside table and crawl into the centre of his bed. "Yeah?" I finally ask when he still doesn't tell me why he wanted me. "I've been thinking." he turns to face me, his eyes full of worry. "uh, well... We're always staying at each other's apartments and it's a lot of messing around... what if uh, we, you know- get our own place?" He takes a large breath and frowns. I don't say anything for a few minutes, completely gobsmacked by the question he just presented me with. I'm in love with Spencer I know I am, but what if we argue again... or break up? I'll have no where to go.

His eyes scan my face constantly and I can see the worry piling until I smile. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth and he leans forward, begging for an answer. I continue to look into his eyes, I suppose if we're living together we might get along better. We might not argue and fall out... we could be happy.

"JJ..." Spencer's voice breaks me from my thoughts and I focus on his face again. "This tension is fucking killing me."
"I, I don't know Spencer." I stutter and he frowns before pulling me toward him. "I'm in love with you Jennifer. It's taken me a while to realise... yeah, but I love you. I want to have you around every minute of everyday, I want to wake up to your beautiful face every morning and have you fall asleep in my arms every night. All this backwards and forwards shit is stupid, I'm in love with you and I know you like me. Just let me prove to you how much I care, I promise I'll look after you." his voice trails off when he notices the tears in my eyes. Again I'm crying, I never expected to hear something like that from him. I don't just like him, I love him too and if he's willing to commit in such a way, of course I'll agree.

"JJ?" he caresses my cheeks, worry once again covering his face. "No." He let's go of my face and frowns deeply. "JJ, I just poured my fucking heart out to you." he half shouts while climbing out of bed and I burst out laughing. "Of course I will silly! I love you too!" His head shoots in my direction and a large smile replaces his frown. "You little bitch." he says while jumping back onto the bed. He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me to him while kissing my lips hard. "I hate you." he says while kissing my neck. "Oh you hate me?" I shout while laughing and he looks into my eyes. "Yes I fucking hate you." I arc my brow at him, pretending not to be amused by his words. "Fine." I push him off of me but he pulls me back. He begins to laugh and so do I as I continue to try and get him off me. "No, no JJ! I love you, I love you!" he pulls me on top of him so that I'm lay on his chest. "What was that?" I ask, forcing him to say it again. "I love you." he repeats and I almost can't see when I smile again.

Spencer's POV:

JJ shuffles in my arms and I look down at her. I love waking before she does, I get to watch her sleep and admire her beauty with out being asked why I'm staring.

My mouth is incredibly dry, so I climb out of bed and make my way to the bathroom down the hall. If I take a quick drink from the tap, I won't have to suffer through an awkward encounter with JJ's parents. The house is silent so I try to be as quiet as I can, but it's just my luck when a floor board creeks. I take and hold a deep breath, praying her parents won't wake before proceeding to the bathroom.

When I've had three mouthfuls from the tap, a door across the hall opens. I jump from the tap and wipe my dripping mouth on my vest shirt. The bathroom door opens and JJ's mum finds me with my shirt in the air and my stomach hanging out.

"Oh, I'm sorry Spencer." she frowns at me while looking my body up and down. "What are you doing? I thought we had a burglar." I almost choke on the water still in my mouth when I look down and see a baseball bat in her hands. "I uh- I was just um, taking a piss." her eyes widen and I realise I just swore at JJ's mum. "I mean a wee, I'm sorry I just-"
"It's ok, why don't you join me and Jensen downstairs for some breakfast?" she actually smiles at me and I take up on the offer. I'd happily sit through a few hours of awkwardness if it means I can get on JJ's parents' good side.

When we reach the kitchen JJ's mum turns on the kettle and I take a seat opposite Jensen, JJ's father. "Hello Spencer." he also smiles at me and I find myself being filled with a feeling of confusion and worry. Why are they all of a sudden being so nice? It's making things awkward as fuck... I think I preferred it when they slagged me off behind my back. I laugh at my thought. And JJ's parents look at me like I'm crazy. "Oh- um sorry... hi." I smile awkwardly and JJ's mum places a mug off coffee in front of me.

"So Spencer..." JJ's mum meets my eyes as she sits beside her husband. "What's going on with you and JJ?" I frown and shift slightly in my seat. "We're uh... we're just friends." I force myself to say and the blonde woman in front of me laughs. My eyebrows raise as she takes a mouthful of her tea. "No you're not." She smiles and I almost choke on what's in my mouth once again. "I've seen the way you look at her Spencer. That's not how you look at a friend, you love her... I see it every time your eyes meet hers and they glisten before you smile. You think we don't notice these things but we do, you're in love with her. You're just afraid to admit it and you don't have to be, because she loves you too." I'm completely lost for words when her mother quietens. "See." she says after a few minutes of silence. I'm not in love with JJ, I just like her a lot. We have fun and that's all.

Footsteps sound their way through the house and JJ's mum smiles at me before heading to the stairs. "We're down here darling." I hear JJ question about me before she also comes downstairs.

***

The day after Boxing Day I wake up alone, both JJ and I needed our own beds for the night... even if that meant not being together.

It's only 8:30 and I'm out of coffee. I decide to go to the local coffee shop, the one that JJ loves so much and grab us both a coffee.

When I reach the lobby of our apartment building Marcus looks up with tired eyes and doesn't been try to smile at me. What's his deal? I could make his life hell, but the past few weeks I've chosen not to. The least I deserve is a fucking smile, he greets JJ with the biggest one I've seen as soon as she sets foot out of the elevator. Then again, he probably wants to fuck her.

My eyes move to the glass doors and the snow looks to be coming down pretty hard. "Damn it." I say as I leave the building and jog down to the coffee shop. I have no hood or umbrella so I'm going to get thrashed by the shitty weather an I'm doing all this for one dumb smile of JJ. I don't know how she does it, I don't have a clue how she's managed to get me out in the fucking snow, falling over all the way to the coffee shop without asking.

***

I knock on the wood and wait a few minutes for an answer. JJ opens her door and I smile awkwardly while holding out the coffees I just bought. I shift a little as some of the snow from my hair dribbles down my back, but her smile completely takes my mind off of it.

"Hi."
"Hi."

Small chapter again and I'm super sorry!! the next one will be long, I promise!!!

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