After Hardin

22

~ HARDIN ~

I walk into the kitchen so distracted thinking about Tessa and murmur, "It smells good Mum." She turns her head just as I lean down and place a kiss on her cheek. A few months ago, nobody would have seen me give my Mum a kiss on the cheek. I really wish I would have shown more love to her all of these years.

She spots the flowers in my hand. "Are those for me?" I can tell she's surprised and her eyes start to water. It makes me realize again how much of an asshole I have been for most of my life.

"Yes, these are for you." I hand the flowers to her and she quickly turns around toward the sink, busying herself putting them in water. I can see her trying to wipe her eyes and hide that she's crying.

"I'm sorry for being such an ass my entire life. I've fucked up so many times, I'm surprised you want anything to do with me." Mum sighs as I put my arm around her shoulders. I really am glad that I'm getting this time to try and repair our relationship.

Mum sniffs and wipes her eyes again before placing the vase of flowers in the middle of the kitchen table. "Sit down and keep me company, Hardin. Dinner is almost finished. I'm making your favorite, fish and chips." She smiles and turns back to the stove.

I watch Mum put the finishing touches on dinner and wonder what Tessa and my Mum talked about. I don't know if I should pry or wait until tomorrow to find out for myself. I'm so curious, it's driving me insane. "So, how was your day, Mum?" Maybe she will tell me without me having to ask.

"It was just a normal day. Work was fine and now I'm lucky that you are here for dinner. How was your day?" I can't believe she isn't telling me about Tessa. She couldn't have forgotten, Tessa just left.

"I saw Dr. Taylor and then I worked with the tutoring program in the afternoon. Cam might go to WCU after he takes his GCSE tests. I have to call Ken and see what we can work out for him to be able to attend school there." I take a deep breath and try to find out what my Mum and Tessa talked about without coming out and asking directly. "So nothing new our unusual happened today?" Geez, I sound nuts.

"Hmmm... no. It was a rather boring day, nothing out of the ordinary." I can't believe that my Mum is lying to me about this. I can feel anger starting to build in my chest. Fuck. I will not blow up at her.

"I see. Anyone come to visit you?" I keep pestering her. She brings a plate to the table for both her and I and she sits down across from me.

"Nope. I saw Mike for a bit before he had to leave for work and then you came." She put a chip in her mouth and chewed slowly. Her eyes barely meet mine. I can tell she is lying and feels bad about it. I eat a few bites of food, debating if I should just drop it or if I should just call her out at this point. I really can't stand that she is lying to me again so soon after I found out about the huge lie that was my life. Mum and Christian lying to me my whole life about the identity of my father. It messed me up knowing that they kept that from me. Now that we have a much better relationship, I really hate to think that my Mum will continue to lie to me about things.

"Mum. Please tell me the truth. I know you had a visitor, I saw her on my way here." My Mum's eyes dropped to look at her plate and her face paled even further. "I didn't want to pry and wanted you to tell me on your own." I reach across the table and grab her hand. I want her to know that I'm not mad.

"Oh Hardin, I didn't want to upset you. Tessa came here asking how to find you. I gave her your address and she asked me not to tell you that she was here. She wanted a little time before she came to talk to you. She knew that if I told you, that you would go crazy and look for her. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."