After Hardin

6

TESSA

"Ken...." Karen said again, "who was on the phone?"

Karen's question brought him out of his thoughts. Ken looked at each of us again and settled his gaze on me and said, "Ummm... Tessa, I don't mean to hurt you, but it was Hardin."

All I can do is stare at him.  I am surprised that no tears come.  I'm in shock.  Why would Hardin be calling Ken?  They don't get along and now that Hardin knows that Ken isn't his real father, I didn't figure he would try to continue contact or a relationship.  I'm brought out of my thoughts by Landon.

"What the hell did he want?" Landon asked with anger in his voice.

"He basically called to ask me what he had to do to graduate and remain in England.  He doesn't want to come back to finish school, but wants to graduate.  When I tried to ask him what happened or brought up you, Tessa, he threatened to hang up and never call here again.  I told him I would see what he needed to do to still graduate."

I let out a loud breath that I didn't realize I was holding and continued to stare over Ken's shoulder and out into the backyard.  He's not coming back to Washington to finish school.  I don't know why this surprises me.  It shouldn't.  After seeing how he was when I left him at his friends shack of an apartment.  I don't think he will ever come back to Washington or the US ever again.  I feel my heart break a little more knowing that he won't be coming back, but then I think about it and I don't want to get back together with him.  This was the last straw with him.  He sent me away again after he promised he wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me again.  On top of sending me away, he was with her... she had on his shirt and was wrapped around him.  The thought of that is bringing bile into my throat.

"Tessa," Ken say as he puts his hand over mine on the table. "Are you OK.  I know that this is hard for you.  I don't want to hurt you any more than my son already has."

I look into Ken's eyes and can tell that he is truly sorry for Hardin's actions and that I was hurt yet again.  "No worries.  You didn't hurt me and it actually helps knowing that he isn't coming back.  I won't be running into him anywhere and I can truly try to heal and move on.  I feel sorry for you though.  I know that you were on the way to forming a better relationship with him lately.  With him not coming back I am sad that your relationship will suffer."

Ken looks at me with a look of surprise. "You know, you truly are a very mature young lady and I am so proud of you.  I had hoped that this news wouldn't set you back after seeing you come downstairs this morning set to move on. We want the best for you, and Hardin, and if that is you two not together, then we support that."

I smile at Ken and then look at Karen and Landon.  They are all smiling to show their support.  After we finish breakfast, I help clean up in the kitchen and head upstairs to pack my things.  I need to get moving if I am going to get the rest of my things out of the apartment and to Seattle yet tonight.  After the few things are packed up from my room, I decide I should call Kim and make sure my plans will work for them too. 

Kim answers after the third ring, "Hello?"

"Hey Kim, it's Tessa."

"You made it safe!  Good. I was worried about you.  How are you?"  I can't believe that Kim is worried about me.  She just found out that her fiance cheated on her with Trish, Hardin's mom.  And then Vance was burned badly in the house fire that Hardin started and is now in the hospital and is arrested for arson.  She shouldn't be worrying about me.

"I'm OK Kim!  I should be asking you if you are OK.  How are you?  How is Vance? I'm so worried about you and him."

She tells me how Vance will be released from the hospital in the next few weeks and that the police are dropping the charges.  Vance told them that he was chasing some unknown people out of the house and got caught in the fire.  Thankfully they bought the story.  "That's great Kim.  I am happy that he is healing well.  How are you though? You have been through a lot the last few days."

Kim is still taking care of Smith while Vance is in the hospital, and she goes on to tell me that she will be standing by Vance.  She loves him.  She is going to try and forgive him.  More power to her.  "Well you are the only one who can make that decision.  I'm here for you.  I was calling to talk to you about my plans now that Hardin and I are done.  I am headed to the apartment to get the rest of my things and I was hoping that it will be OK if I still stay at your place for a few weeks until I find a place of my own."  This is hard for me to ask her since Vance is Hardin's father and he is my ex boyfriend.  I am hoping that this isn't too awkward. 

"Tessa, stay as long as you like.  We are not kicking you out.  Hardin is an idiot and we love having you.  Plus we won't be home for a few weeks so you can house sit for us," Kim reassures me.

"Thank you so much.  You are the best Kim."  We end the call and I realize that Kim is one of my only friends.  I really love that lady. 

Now that I have my plans worked out and know that I can stay at Vance's place still, I head downstairs with my things.  I say goodbye to Karen and she reminds me of the plans to work in the greenhouse next weekend.  I am looking forward to that so much.  I love seeing how we are bringing it back to life together.  Ken isn't home so I ask Karen to tell him goodbye for me. 

"Are you sure that you don't want me to come help you?" Landon asks as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and gives me tight hug. 

"I'm sure.  This is something that I need to do on my own." I don't have many things there to get yet so it won't take me long.  Landon releases me after a few more minutes of hugging and puts both of his hands on my shoulders. 

"You call me if  you need me.  I am so proud of you Tessa."  He gives me another brief hug and asks me to make sure I let him know when I get to Vance's house.  He yells, "Drive Safe," as I walk down the driveway and get into Hardin's car.  I wave as I pull out of the driveway feeling loved by this amazing family.

The drive to Hardin's apartment went faster than I thought it would.  I pull into his normal parking spot next to my car.  As I walk into the apartment, a wall of emotions hits me.  Happy for all the fun times we had here laughing and making memories and of course the amazing sex.  Sad for all of the crap that Hardin put me through and now having it all come crashing down to an end.

I will not cry, I give myself a pep talk and walk into the apartment and close the door.  I gather the few things in the kitchen, living room and bathroom that I have there.  Most of my things are already at Vance's house.  I leave the bedroom until last.  This room will be the hardest to walk into.  All the memories of the intimate times we had in this room.  I begin to think if I will ever be able to give myself to someone so freely again, and if someone will be able to make me feel the way that he has.  My body reacts to him with just his hand on mine.  It felt like electricity ran through my body with just a brush of his hand.  My body came alive at his touch.  To feel like I may never experience this again scares me, it almost makes me want to hop on a plane back to England and do whatever I need to do to keep Hardin in my life.  I am not desperate and will never bring myself to do anything like that.  I am worth more than what Hardin has given me.

I open the door to the bedroom and quickly get my clothes that are left in the closet and the other things that I have left there.  I grab the rest of my books and leave the room as fast as I can.  I grab my keys and toss Hardin's on the counter and head down to my car with the last things from the apartment.  After I get them all in the car, I leave without shedding one tear.

On the drive to Seattle, I think about how proud I am of myself for handling that situation as well as I did.  I told myself that I could do this and I was strong and moving on was best for myself, but I wasn't really sure I would be able to pull it off without crying.  My mind wanders and before I know it I am pulling into the driveway at Vance's house. 

I take all of my things into my room and put them all neatly away.  Once that is all done, I have nothing else to distract myself and I find it lonely in this big house all on my own.  I take out my phone and text Landon that I am here and all unpacked, and then I see the audio message from Hardin again.  I know I told myself I didn't care what he said on it, I was moving on and nothing he said would change my mind so I just ignored it.  Before I can stop myself I push the play button and Hardin's voice fills the room.

"Tessa......"

Thank you all for reading my story.  I hope you all like it.  Let me know what you think and remember to vote!  Alisha