BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR

ALEXIA KING

Today is the day. 

I wake up early, skip my work out and leave for college without disturbing Emy and Kevin.

My bags are packed and already at the airport, new phone, identity, and an address.

Right now, I'm fidgeting with a small box in my pocket. I've decided this and am not gonna back out. Kevin made me realize I need to move on and let my past go. The truth is he has already healed me. Only scars are left and I will erase them too. I won't let anything darken my future anymore and I'll always be grateful to Kevin for this, for making me realize what I have to do.

Of course, he could have helped me, we would have lived together but how?  Me troubling him, fearing a small girl and that too his sister, afraid to help anyone in need because I'm too scared to trust my decisions? That's not how things work.

He is my light in the darkness and my light in brightness. I need to do something before I darken him. He left his small sister with me for crying out loud. Who does that? I know how much he loves her and he left her with me just like that. Anything could have happened, I could have hurt her or burnt his house but the trust he shows in me is beyond my understanding. He trusts me but most importantly he has faith in me and here I couldn't even reciprocate his feelings. I can't adore his sister like he adores my sister and family.

I want to give him my all not bits and pieces and this is the only way to do so. I have to leave him for good. I know he would be devastated but I also know he's the only one who would understand me.

I see Victoria roaming with a solemn face. I want to approach her, hold her shoulder and comfort her but I know I'll find my hands strangling her. I approach her nonetheless.

"Victoria!" she stops and looks at me with a smile.

I told you she's a good girl. I pranked her, bullied her before Kevin came into the picture and recently I damaged her hair to the point where she has to cut it short. Still, she smiles like we are old friends. She is better than me in one aspect, she holds into beautiful memories but I hold grudges.

"Alexia" she looks around nervously.

We are alone in the parking lot.

"Last day huh?" I try to start a conversation. Awkward.

"Yeah, last day" she nods her head sadly.

"You seem upset?"

"It's nothing"

And why would she answer me?

"I understand"

"No, it's not what you think. You know it's kinda silly" she chuckles.

"I think I need to hear something silly" I need.

"It's nothing. It's just that today is the last day, we would not see each other anymore. Oh my god! It sounds more silly when I speak it"

"I'm listening"

"I know we are not friends but I liked meeting you, I liked coming to college and seeing you all. You, Bella, Kevin, Noah, Max, Ed, and Nich"

"Ashton, Derek, Tyler-" I name out the guys I heard she hooked up with. If we had been still best friends like before I would have taught her worth. She is more than a hookup.

"Yeah yeah! I got it. You won't understand this but I even like our bickering"

We fell in comfortable silence once everyone starts coming with their parents. My parents will be coming too.

"Do you ever loved your mother?" The question is not abrupt. It has been revolving in my conscience the moment I learned the name of the woman I killed.