BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR

ALEXIA KING

"You can leave my hand now" I gesture to our intertwined hands.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Life doesn't work as we want "

"But it works according to our need and you need me" He retaliates.

"I see. You're gonna rub it on my face, now?"

He leans to whisper in my ear, "In my defense, I believe you would prefer me rubbing this newfound knowledge on you rather than what I am envisioning right now" 

My ears turn hot, "You're one cocky bastard" I hiss before yanking my hand from his loose grip and follow our friends to Ice skating.

"You love my cocky self" I can hear his smug look over my shoulder.

I flip him my magic finger and earn myself his wolf whistle.

Despite his annoying self, I find myself smiling at his silly behavior.

Everyone is at their spot with their jackets and skating gears when Kevin joins us.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask, Victoria, uncertainly because of how far I know, she sucks at ice skating and her tolerance to cold is almost nil.

"Yeah. Nich is helping me" She replies way too happy.

I eye the traitor and he tilts his chin in Xaiyla's direction. He is not the most sought out person for ice skating and Ed and Pastry would never help Victoria because my enemies are their enemies and I am not pushing Kevin towards Victoria, so Kevin is not even in the option, then there's Xaiyla, who may walk on ice with her heels on but add one pound of weight on her, and you will have some broken bones. Lastly, I, who has experience of ice skating worth one year, under professionals. The thing is, females are not my only issue. After the incident, I had fear of cold, bondage, blood, fire, and darkness. One by one, I overcame them all. Obviously, with help of my doctor. I learned ice skating to get over my first source of terror, let Dr. Phil tie my wrists for seconds, which later escalated to minutes then hours, made some small harmless cuts to bear the sight of blood, slept around burning candles to tolerate their heat and meditated in darkness to the point where it is my favorite hide now. The journey was not easy. It was my version of personal hell but I endured it because of several sleepless nights, countless panic attacks, and frequent visits to the hospital, I was the only one hurting. I didn't leave my family for the fun of it. I left them because I was ashamed of my weak self. I wanted to overcome my fears and the plan was to return once I succeed but I failed to attain my last fear because for that to happen I would need to experiment with women and there is no guarantee of me not hurting them or vice versa. I would never be able to live with myself if I ever hurt someone innocent. Consequently, I know what the right thing is to do in this situation

"I can help you" A part of my brain whispers that this is a bad idea, I should not let my overconfidence rule me but I am like the child who has achieved something unattainable and greedy for more. I didn't hurt Emy, I didn't hurt my sister, and I sure as hell won't hurt Victoria. I am certain of it.

"You are pushing it" Kevin mutters in a gravel voice but it's Xaiyla who gets my attention.

"That would be great" Her voice is chirpy and there is a little bounce on her posture. I look closely at her glittering eyes and conclude that I am not the only one who attained something.

I rub my gloved hands together and I don't feel my own hands. I can do this.

In beginning, Victoria loses her balance on many occasions and I help her stand upright but there is one time she falls on her ass when I was trying to distract myself from the reality where I am holding the hand of the Spawn of Satan, dragging me along.