Sleeping with the Ex (SasuNaru)

The curse of your absence

But why am I feeling this way?
He's my ex after all..
We're not together so he can date whoever he wants.. It shouldn't be any of my concern.

I swept the remaining tiny pieces and dump them in the trash bag. I decided to clear the trash bin, worried that the ceramic shards would tear through the material and hurting one of my team members.

I left through the kitchen's back door to the alleyway where the dumpsters were. My brain was definitely not cooperating with me as images flashed vividly in my head of running into Sasuke's arms right here after I learning that Sai cheated on me.

What was that, then?
All that talking about not letting me go..

I tossed the trash bag into the dumpster. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got.

I decided to stay out here for a while more to get some fresh air and grabbed my phone from my back pocket. I unlocked it and realised I had a text from Sasuke about two hours ago.

2:55PM - "Having my lunch now. What did you have?"
He also sent a picture of his lunch, that seemed to an expensive plate of seafood pasta.

How could he act like everything is normal?
If he's moving on, the least he could do was tell me. I mean.. we're still friends, right?

Damn, I felt this feeling way too many times recently. And I hate it. That miserable feeling of betrayal creeping up on me.
But.. Why do I feel betrayed?
I'm not being logical or rational.

But it sucks so bad to know the truth from somebody else.
Just then, for a second he reminded me of Sai.

I closed the register after making sure the cash tallied according to paper. It was finally the end of a long day, I can't wait to get home and wrap myself in my sheets.
I was exhausted both mentally and physically.
No matter how busy I was, my mind kept wandering back to Sasuke and all the questions I had.

It was almost impossible to distract myself from any lingering thoughts about him.
It was extremely tiring to keep pulling myself away from the haunting thoughts of him.
It almost felt similar to the months after we had broken up and I had to painfully adapt living life without Sasuke, where I had to keep running away from any trace of him I had in my mind.

It was too sudden, without any warning signs to mentally prepare myself for impact.
He just dropped me a text and disappeared.

It was that easy for him.

While I was locking the doors to the cafe, someone honked gently at me but I was caught so off guard, I dropped my keys as I jumped. I could hear the driver roll down his windows as I reached down to get my keys and shoved them into my bag.

"Did I scare you?" A familiar voice called out to me.

Crap, it can't be..
He was the last person I want to see right now.

I stood up and turned around slowly, my trembling hands clenching the strap of my bag tightly.

"Why are you here?" I questioned, trying to seem normal.
He arched one of his eyebrow, "I told you I'd drive you home. Did you forget?" He leaned out of his car window, his arm resting on the window ledge.

Dammit. I totally forgot about that!

It took a few seconds to decide what I should do next. I shouldn't be so bothered about this.
If he's moving on, I should be supportive of him.. I.. I just have to play it cool.
I reluctantly dragged myself into the car, shutting the door. "Gosh, I'm tired!" I laid back to rest my head, pretending to yawn as I closed my eyes.

I can't look at him.
He'll look right through my pretence.
He's too good at seeing right through me.

"Are you unwell? You don't look too good." His hand reached out to me, and I could feel his warm touch my forehead. I instinctively withdrew myself further away from him and closer to the car's door.

I fidgeted in my seat nervously. "H-how was your day at Sakura's office?" I decided to switch the topic. With my head still tilted back to the headrest, my eyes peeped open at him.

There were a few seconds of silence before he shifted his gear and started to drive.
"Nothing special."

I clenched my teeth, painfully forcing a small laugh before changing the subject again.

Hearing the answer, I was even more disappointed in him.
He failed to answer truthfully.
Don't I deserve the truth?
After all he did to me, shouldn't I know the truth this time if he decides to vanish from my life again?

That thought ached my heavy heart as I clenched my teeth.

I turned my face away from him and towards the window, but even with my eyes closed I was not confident enough that I'll be able to hold myself together.

I..
I don't want him to disappear from my life again.