The past lives together

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"But.. Why?" I could barely hear the words the blonde haired boy whispered in between his heavy sobbing.

I held him tighter in my arms, I wanted to protect him. And I failed.
"Because I love you, stupid." I confessed again.

But no matter how many times I said it, it was never acknowledged.

But what could I expect? I hurt him.
I was 3 years younger but too stupid to realise how lucky I was to have him.
How do I express my guilt? A million apologies wouldn't be enough for what I had done.
It was solely my fault that we broke up.

This is the best I can do for him now.
Even if it means watching him cry over another man. I didn't care if I was hurt watching over him, my hurt would never compare to the pain I've brought him 3 years ago.

I will be here for you. And I promise to always be here.

When I laid my eyes on him that night again, I finally realised it.
For the past 3 years, what I had been running away from.
What I had been feeling.
Something always felt missing.

I didn't understand what was Love and I never had thought how much he would mean to me.
I took him for granted.
And when we separated.. a part of me died.
I never realised it. I would never have guessed it either.
I tried to ignore the feelings of emptiness and tried to suppressed the feelings of pain, all I could do was work to get my mind off it.
I dragged myself around with that heavy aching in my chest, forever weighing me down.

It was draining. And I always thought it was work that was burning me out.

I always thought that what I was missing was my achievements.
But I am the President of a bank now, but I didn't feel like a winner.
That night when our eyes met again, I felt a total loser. Because I realised what I lost.

I recognised what I had been missing all this time.

And in that same night, I held him in my arms and made a promise to myself that I would never let him go again.
I thought it was my fate to have another chance with him, but when I realised he had just broken up.. It almost made me bitter.

For the past 3 years, I was in agonising despair.
But he was enjoying his time with someone else in his bed during the nights I was completely alone and lonely.

It was unfair.
But I know, I deserved it.

I continued to stroke his head, like calming a baby down after crying. He seemed to have settled down, his face still buried in my chest and arms clinging so tightly around me.

The question was still burning in the back of my brain. Though, there was no way I could ask him. It would be selfish of me to have him answer that during his weakest moment.

But when he pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me squeezing me so tightly.. I really want to know..

Does he still have feelings for me?
Or does he just love the thought of having someone to run to and comfort him?

I held his hand and walked him to my car. The smaller boy moved slowly, eyes glued to the ground. He seemed lifeless as he took my hand as a guide to go wherever.

I shut the car door behind him after he entered my car and walked over to the driver's side to slide in.
I buckled my seat belt before turning to him, "Are you hungry?"

Naruto shook his head emotionlessly.

I felt helpless.
Yet in the back of my mind, I selfishly wondered if he was hurt to this extent when we broke up?

As cruel as it sounds, I hoped he did.
So, I could know that he loved me as much as he loved this asshole.

I saw his best friend, Sakura, leaving the cafe with the blonde haired girl. They parted ways at the door after waving goodbye to each other and she slowly made her way to the car. Looking at Ino's direction one last time, before she entered the back seat of my car sneakily.

"Is he alright?" She asked me, putting her hand on Naruto's shoulder.

His eyes blinked and lit up a bit when he noticed her presence. "Sakura.." He pouted, looking as if he was going to fall apart again.

She leaned forward to him between the space of the driver and passenger seats. Patting his shoulder and smiling, "Let's go home. We'll order in your favourite food, tuck ourselves in bed and watch stupid comedies. Sounds fun to you?" She suggested with a huge infectious smile.

He nodded with tears welling up his eyes.
His favourite food..
"..Ramen, right?" I interrupted as the words escaped my mouth.
Sakura looked up at me, confused before understanding what I was referring to.
"Yes. It's ramen." She helped confirmed one of the little things I knew about him three years ago.

I always had priorities.
And love was never one of them.
I didn't know what was love, and I didn't know how to love.
I spent so much time at work, I neglected him.
I neglected us.

Even on the nights I would come home after a long and hard day at work, he would be there fast asleep on my couch. With a simple home cooked dinner prepared on the table.

But as hard as I tried, I couldn't recall what I had done for him. In fact, I barely even went over to his place.

I stepped onto the gas pedal, driving over to their apartment. I caught a glance of my ex once in awhile to see how he was doing. He was silent, staring at the window aimlessly.

His eyes looked dull.
This was so unlike him.
He must be really heart broken.

It was like the Gods were punishing me.
Because this wouldn't have happened if I..

My phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts.
With one hand on the steering wheel, I dug my phone out of my pocket and placed it against my ear.

"What is it?" I answered the phone, even more annoyed than usual when I saw the caller ID.
"President Uchiha, the board is holding a conference call to discuss some urgent matters in 10 minutes." My personal assistant, Hinata called to inform me of the meeting.

I knew it, receiving a call from my P.A would only mean work for me to do.
Even if it was on a Sunday.
But I had been used to it, this isn't the first time.
I never really cared whichever day I was required to work either. My career was my life.

Until now.

I clicked my tongue, "Alright, I'll do the call in my car."

"Sorry for being a bother, I know.. work is really important to you." Naruto finally spoke softly after I hung up, dropping my phone into the pocket of the car's door armrest.

I looked towards him, shaking my head lightly.
My grip on the steering wheel tightened.

What should I say?
'You're important to me too'?

I would sound like a hypocrite.

After all, I was the one who disappeared 3 years ago, leaving him behind with nothing but a goodbye text message out of the blue.

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