The last enemy

Chapter 23: You dont want to cross me, Blondie

I walk out of the hospital wing and my friends don't follow me. I decide that, whatever they want to talk about, they can do it without me. I just got out of a pretty traumatic situation and I'm ready to enjoy a good meal. Suddenly, a hand pulls me in the shadows and I feel warm, soft lips on mine. I grin. The person in front of me hugs me tight. Theo smirks back.

- I was so scared El. Hermione and Weasle-girl told me what really happened. How You-know-who tried to hurt you.

My face falls as I realize something. I can't lie. Not to him. My cousin and my friends was one thing, it was to protect them. Theo has no connection whatsoever to the mess I've created. I have to tell him.

- Yeah, that's not exactly what happened.

He frowns and sits down on a staircase nearby. I join him. He asks me:

- What do you mean?
- Well, Mione and Ginny don't know the whole truth. Actually, only McGonagall, Snape and I do. Can I trust you with it?
- Yeah, sure.
- You don't understand...if anybody hears this, we're all going to get killed by death eaters.
- Woah, aren't you exaggerating just a little?
- I wish I was.

I mean, if Voldemort finds out that I told people about Harry's dream, he will hunt everybody I love and kill them so that nobody knows what's going on inside of these dreams. Theo gulps.

- Alright then, you can tell me.
- I purposely went into Harry's dreams. I used a form of magic called legilimency which allows one to go through another's thoughts, dreams or memories. It took me a while to perfect it but, with the help of Snape, I was able to do it quite well. I didn't know Voldemort could be that strong. He drove me away from the wall I had created in my head and then...he did this.

I uncover my wound for him to see a few seconds. I see him flinch at the sight.

- Eleanor...
- But I noticed there's dirt in it, and in Harry's dream, we were in the forbidden forest. Which means that Voldemort was there. So he is indeed finding ways to get closer to us.

I stop talking to let my boyfriend time to process this. I did just tell him that I purposely put myself in danger and was ready to sacrifice myself to the cause.

- Why did you do it.
- What?

I see his eyes tearing up a bit and I'm taken by surprise.

- You could've died Eleanor!

He growls. My eyes widen and I take a step back.

- Yes, I'm aware of that. And I did it knowingly.
- Were you really ready to leave us like that? To leave me?
- This was more important! Don't you see? I found a weakness! This could be...
- Don't change the subject. This is not sacrifice!? It's selfishness! There is a barrier between the two and you crossed it.

I start breathing hard. What is he saying? This can't be right. He continues:

- You don't know anything about this cause. The war hasn't started. What are you playing at? Your life matters. To everybody. Don't throw it away for tiny bits of information that we could've gotten some other way!

I bite my bottom lip. He's right. I was selfish.

These past two months, I have concentrated on nothing more than this. What I didn't realize is that I expected to die. And it didn't bother me. In the common room, with Gin, I let out a single tear. And it wasn't for me, it was for them. For the hurt I would cause them. Because I didn't care about myself anymore.

If I want to be honest, this thing with my parents messed with my mind. I wanted so badly to be with them that I was ready to die for it. I gasp as I realize. I wanted to die. That's why I did it. Sure there probably was a noble cause to all of this but a part of me knew he could kill me...and that part of me liked the idea. Tears prickle my eyes. I look away from Theo.