A Silver Lining

Chapter 20: Failure

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

I don't know how long it's been since Ethan brought me into the emergency room. As soon as he laid me down on the bed I passed out. I instantly had deja vu, hearing Ethan's shouts, Trish's voice, me lying down not being able to open my eyes.

Pain.

Everything keeps going around in circles. It seems like no matter what happens these days I always end up in the same place. The hospital bed.

Pain.

I don't know how I haven't died yet with everything that's happened to me. I should've died. But me being a healer....it has its advantages.

Pain.

It's a tough topic. Death. What would happen? Where would we go? If death is an option right now, would I take it? No. If I were to die right now, would I feel content? I don't know.

Pain.

I know that I was happy this morning. Alone with Ethan I felt happiness. Joy. If I died this morning I would be fine with it, but right now I just don't know how to feel.

Pain.

I'm sick of being close to death. I don't want this kind of life. I don't want to constantly be in danger. I don't want to have dangerous powers. I don't want to be surrounded by werewolves.

Pain.

I'm in love with a werewolf but he isn't one in my eyes. Ethan is human. He's pure. He's caring towards me. He's kind, not viscous. He's mine. I'll never lose him. No matter what happens, I have him.

Pain.

Everything will be fine. I'm not going to die even tho it feels like it. If these near death experiences keep happening I don't know what I'm going to do to myself.

Pain.

The pain around me gets worse. I want to scream. To move. To call for help. I can't hear anything anymore. It's almost like I'm buried deep underground in a hole and there's no way out. All I see is darkness.

Pain.

Is this the end? Is this suffering finally going to stop? I no longer have a family. All I have is Ethan, Liam and Aubrey. They're the only people I trust now.

Pain.

I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore. I can't fight for myself because there is nothing to fight for.

Pain.

The only thing that makes me want to wake up from this slow and agonising death is Ethan. Our bond is stronger than ever and I don't want to leave him here in this cruel world alone. He also has no family. We have nobody but each other.

Pain.

I should fight.....but I can't. I can't do anything. I should've listened to Candice, but my hatred towards her made me block her out. I failed her. I failed Ethan. I failed everyone. I'm a failure. I'm worthless. I deserve to die but I don't want to. My fate is in the hands of one person and one person only. God.

Hey cherries🍒 Sorry for this short and sad chapter but I thought you would like to know how Lola is really feeling. Please follow and vote if you like my work so far:) See you very soon;) I love you all so much! Thank you for the support!
Amy