Thought She Meant The World To Me

Chapter XXXI

{A/N: kinda short but idgaf, we're getting to the end guys!}

The following week goes something like this:
Mike and I make chemistry jokes all through science class, even Matty throws some in every once in a while. Vic spends his free period, lunch and even some after school hours at college seminars. I miss him like mad. Matty basically confirms my love for him by winking at me and constantly bringing Vic up, forcing me to talk about the man of my dreams.

Tay's been getting insanely on my nerves, but Jenna advises me to play nice. So, I do. Honestly though, Vic should dump her sorry ass. He would never do that though. One of the reasons I love yet hate him. Also the reason why I'm struggling over whether or not to build up my walls. He smashed them all when he kissed me in that bathroom stall. The real dilemma is if I should build them up and push him away or accept that by the end of the year, I may not have a heart at all. Even if we don't officially stop what we're doing, he does have to leave for college. So, no matter what I lose him.

I hung out with Austin on Wednesday and got over my initial fear of him, he's one of the nicest guys I know.

Even on the weekend Vic was busy finalizing his applications and Mike was with Alysha. So here we are in history Monday morning and I can't wait until second period when I finally get to see my- Tay's Victor. 3 months. 3 months and I'm completely attached to him.
{A/N: technically it was 14 weeks, but I don't have patience for technicalities}

This is where we are Kellin, really? You said you never love anyone and yet here you are: a month after meeting someone and you've given him your entire heart. My conscience points out, it happens to be on the side of 'build your walls' whereas basically every other aspect of Kellin Quinn Bostwick just can't handle shutting him out. I still can't wrack my brain for any unanimous decision when the bell rings for second period. I run to the chemistry room and hurry into my seat, shockingly the third person the room. How isn't everyone stoked for chemistry? It's such a fab subject. I mean covalent bonds? Damn those guys ROCK.

"Hey Matty." I say smiling.

"Whoa, someone's perky today." He says.

"Is it against the law to be in a good mood?" I ask him, setting a blue, black, and red pen parallel to one another at the front of my desk.

"Maybe, if the cause of your good mood happens to have a girlfriend." He mutters. Oh, here he goes again.

"Vic has nothing to do with this." I guess the Vic and I situation is becoming more and more exoteric.

"I beg to differ." He says, sitting next to me.

I turn to him and cave, "Okay, maybe a tiny bit has to do with the fact that he's back today."

"Speak of the devil." He says. My heart-rate picks up and I lock my eyes on the door. But much to my dismay, only Mike walks through. My eyebrows furrow and I ask where Vic is.

"He has some graduation party at lunch. He said he was on the planning committee. So yeah, he has to decorate or some shit."

His comment forces complete shut-down mode; he's avoiding me. It's the only logical explanation. He never misses chemistry for something as lame as a party. Plus, he doesn't do 'decorating'. I give him a lame smile and mumble: "Cool."

__
"Jen." I say, trying to hold back tears.

"What's wrong?" She asks, not skipping a beat. "Who do I need to kill?"

"Me." I reply meekly.
Silence
"I fucked up."

"Tell aunty Jen what happened." She coos.

"Vic realized what a pathetic loser I am. He's avoiding me, Jen. He's pushing me away and I haven't even told him that thing yet."