Stigma ✔

|31|

Irene

I yawn and close my eyes as a I lean back on the sofa. The events of the past two days flash before my eyes and I sit up straight, alarmed. I can not even try to fall asleep without bandages, blood and flat-lines twisting themselves into a recurring nightmare. 

I look out the window of the hospital room as  the sun slowly starts to sets. I couldn't hear any noise from the busy streets below and I was somewhat glad. After a very hectic three days, I was finally accepting the calmness and serenity the room currently provided.

I look over at the bed and smile at the lump of bed-sheets. The culprit of my sleepless nights lay on the bed, sleeping like a log. But then again, I wouldn't have it any other way. He deserved every bit of sleep he got at the moment after going through a five exhausting surgeries. 

My brother, Bae JoonHee, the bravest man of my life just proved to be befitting the title. 

Three days ago after our Inkigayo performance we were getting ready to go home when I received an anonymous call. We had a policy to not lift anonymous call at any rate for our security reasons and following which I reported the number to the manager and ignored the call. 

It was not even 5 minutes later that my manager came rushing to me stating the call was from a military hospital in Gangwon-do. I had my doubts before I dared to call back on the number and for the first time I wished that my intuition was wrong. It was then did I receive the news that my brother had not only enlisted in the military without informing anyone but was severely injured in one of the training programs.

 He had registered me as his nearest kin, something I still do not understand why. Why he chose to not give our parents details is still a mystery to me, something I wish to clear as soon as he regains his consciousness.

I was told that since I was the only person whose details were available, only I could give them permission to go ahead with the surgery. We had a quick talk with Mrs. Hwang at the agency before my manager and I left for Gangwon-do. Thankfully the ride here was only of an hour and a half and from the moment we arrived till the doctors had declared that he was out of danger, everything is a blur.

JoonHee had attempted a task that was not prescribed for his level of training, and suffered a very severe injury to his legs, mainly his knees. He was immediately rushed to the hospital and was made stable before they contacting me.

Contacting my parents was the first thing I did the moment I got my phone back. Both of them were in Thailand for a family event and it would take them a minimum three days to return, considering they had to book a flight and depart from wherever they were, would take them a better of two days.

Which left me and my manager to stay back for his care till my parents came back. My members were apparently not allowed to visit the me for obvious reasons but still Seulgi had managed to come here somehow. She wouldn't tell me how but I am hundred percent sure that she somehow guilt-tripped Mrs. Hwang. She had left the next morning because of her schedule and I wished she stayed. I knew that my current location was not a secret to anyone anymore because of a few people who had recognized me on the day I came here, had already taken to the social media.

Thankfully the only the part that came out was that I am at a hospital in Gangwon-do and I am not the one injured. I had switched off my phone as advised by my manager and was using his phone up until now. We were lucky that Manager oppa's hometown is in Gangwon-do which gave him no reason to go back and forth to Seoul. As for me, I never left the hospital.

The door to the room opened and Manager Oppa waked into the room with his phone against his ear. He glanced at my brother for a second before making his way towards me.

"The agency is releasing a statement saying that you are here for a close family member and that you are fine. Apparently there are a few insane rumors about you floating around that we din't know about. Hopefully, all of them will be cleared out today." He said, standing in front of me. 

I sigh and nod at him. I knew how it must have looked like. The news channels must be having a field day.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" He asked again, tucking his phone away. His mother had invited us for lunch when she came to know that I was basically living here. We have met the old lady before and she fussed on us the same way a mother would.

"No Oppa. I can't leave him alone. I need to be here when he wakes up." I say, apologetically. He nods his head in understanding. He dropped the bag he was carrying next to me and nodded at it.

"Okay then be careful. The guards are still out there but then again this is a military hospital, I don't think security will be much of a problem. Just don't step out unaccompanied," He said before making his way to the door. "I won't be gone long, so don't worry. Call me if anything happens, okay?"

I smile at him and show him a thumbs up as he closes the door behind him.

I dig in the small utility bag Manager Oppa had left for me in the room and fetched my phone. It came back to life, a truck load of messages came assaulting the notification tone. I smiled at the questioning messages from my label mates and friends and replied to them but my hands freeze when I came across the one name I was praying not to see.

Kim SeokJin.

I know I had kept him in the dark about entire situation. I know he must have heard about me. I know he must have tried to reach out to me. The last I spoke to him was the day before he left for his Japan schedule. I know that by now he must have realized that I was ignoring him.

Ever since a kid if something happened that hurt me on a physical or emotional level, instead of sharing the pain and talking about it I always preferred to isolate myself and lick my wounds till they heal.

The only person who I ever allowed to comfort me was my brother but seeing him in that condition, so vulnerable and fragile, my walls of defense came up and instantly my emotions were locked up. For the past three days, manager Oppa had tried multiple times to make sure that I was okay. For the past three days, I did not even cry once and somehow that was not considered normal by the nurses here or the manager.

How can I let my emotions get better of me when my brother needs me by his side?

But I knew.

No I'm sure, that one call from him would have destroyed everything. My defense, my resolve, my fears and me. I know that one call from him would have broken the dam of tears I had so carefully protected. 

My eyes widened at the forty-three messages he sent me in the last three days. Hands shaking, I scrolled through the messages that went from expressing worry, panic, unhappiness at my remote silence to showing annoyance that even my manager was not getting back to him. I smiled at one message that said he wants to steal the company car and make his way here but he had strict orders that he cannot come here. One part of me was glad about their decision but the other part wanted him to rebel.

My breath hitched at the last message that was sent nearly an hour ago and I sat up straight in the couch. 

I am coming JooHyun-ah. You better be there.

Well, shit.

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Hello, Lovelies! Do you remember JoonHee? I had to backread to bring this person out again and I felt that there is more I could write about him. So Ta-da!

Have a awesome day!