epilogue

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Five years have passed since Leo and I got married. Leo is already in his mid-thirties while I, on the other hand, am in my mid-twenties.

The last five years had been nothing but a beautiful journey full of countless battles.

Our love towards each other did not change one bit. If anything else, our love went deeper.

Leo decided to pursue his dream as an inventor a few months after we got married and almost all his works had been known throughout London.

Whenever he would leave for a business trip, he insisted that I should tag along and so, I am with him 24/7. And yes, we never got bored of each other.

Well, perhaps when he is snoring so loud in the middle of the night, God knows how much I want to steal all the blankets from him.

We've been to numerous balls during our stay in America and all those because Leo has a business proposal to the host.

Me, meanwhile, is pretty much busy with the orphanage me and Leo decided to fund. It was me who became the children's teacher.

Judy, on the other hand, gave birth to a handsome healthy boy who seems to have inherited all his features from his father.

However, as Judy's son named Stephen grew older, that's when me and Leo got melancholy.

It's been five years and yet, we still don't have a child.

I vividly remember me and Leo going to the doctor a year after we got married to consult regarding me not being pregnant.

I could see the daggering yet curious stares of the women. No doubt they're confused that five years have passed yet we still don't have a child.

The doctor ran numerous tests on both of us and that's when we found out that due to Leo's lack of sperm count, we would find it really, really hard to have a child.

After we got home that night, it was Leo who cried in front of me, buried his head on my lap, asking for my forgiveness.

"I am sorry I cannot give you a child, Clem," cried Leo, kneeling in front of me, his head on my lap, gripping my frock hard.

I smoothened his unruly hair and said, "Shhh, it's not your fault, Leo," as I forced myself not to cry.

Leo looked at me in the eyes, his eyes red from crying, "I know how much you want a child of your own, Clem,"

I continued brushing his hair, rubbing his shoulders, "and we will have one, Leo. For that, I believe,"

Leo shook his head, "but the doctor said-"

"that we will find it hard to bear a child. That doesn't automatically mean it is impossible to have one," I murmured, smiling despite my aching heart.

And with that, I wrapped my arms around him, completely enveloping me as Leo returned my embrace.

And so, we made love. Again and again and again and again.

I know I should not lose hope but as soon as I felt Leo's warmth, for some reason, my tears fell, my shoulders shaking.

This time, it is Leo's turn to comfort me. Rubbing his hands on my back as he whispers, "I know God has a plan for us, Clem," right to my ear.

And yet, years have passed and no child still came.

To be honest, I grew sadder and sadder as the days went by. Knowing that Judy already has a toddler of her own and is pregnant once again.

And here I am, taking care of numerous orphans to keep myself preoccupied.

Everytime Leo would come home, I would pretend nothing's wrong. That we are not having a child is something not to be sad about.

But I knew, everytime I would smile at him every night, he knew. He knew how my heart is aching for a child because he too is aching.

It was a few weeks after our fifth wedding anniversary when Leo told the coachman to pull the carriage in the corner.

"Why? What's wrong, Leo?" I asked him, my head tucked between his neck, his arm encircled around my waist.

I saw Leo gulped down in the corner of my eye. "I have something to tell you, Clem," he murmured, rubbing my hands with his thumb.

I looked up at him, sat straight. "I finally have an idea for us to have a child, Clem,"

I smiled at him and was about to say that he shouldn't think of it anymore. That everything's fine. That I still love him regardless. That nothing will change.

"You could get pregnant with another man, Clem. I mean, we could find a guy who is willing to, he'll just have to sign a contract-" Leo doesn't have the chance to finish what he is saying when I slapped him across his cheek. Hard.

That alone made him stop and surprised, his cheek red, his mouth hanging.

For some reason, my tears began falling down. "How dare you, Leo. What kind of woman do you think I am?"

Leo just stared at me, regret in his eyes. "Sure, I want us to have a child. So damn much to the point it goddamn hurts but no way am I going to do it with another man, Leo. I cannot believe it even crossed your mind to think that I would agree to such thing,"

Leo did not reply, he just stared at me and at his shoes.

And with that, I opened the door of the carriage to leave him but before I had the chance to, Leo held my hand hard and desperately.

"Please, I am sorry, Clem. I was being stupid," Leo uttered, his eyes watery.

I shook my head, "Leo, I love you, I really do but what you just offered is so damn stupid,"

I finally opened the door of the carriage and was about to step down when Leo wrapped his arms around me. "Please don't leave me, Clem. I fucking love you and I can't bear the idea of walking up in the morning without you in my arms,"

And with that, I looked up at him, returned his embrace and cried in his arms. "Don't ever think of such thing again, Mr. Finley,"

After that night, me and Leo finally settled on the decision of adopting a child.

Again, for the nth time, Leo cried at me and apologized for not giving me a child but I just chuckled at him and said, "I swear, Leo. Apologize once more and I am going to kick you out of the bed,"

But Leo just chuckled at me, embraced me harder and tickled me on the neck.

And we made love again. Always exchanging i-love-yous in-between.

After a few weeks, as Leo and I were about to ride the carriage on our way to the orphanage to request a proper document about us adopting an infant, I suddenly went dizzy and hurriedly went to the comfort room to puke.

The whole time, Leo was behind me, smoothening my back, asking me if I ate something this morning.

I shook my head and by the time I was finished, we went to the carriage but as I was about to step my foot to mount the carriage, my surroundings began to move in such a weird way.

The last thing I remember was everything going black and Leo panicking beside me and catching me in his arms when I felt myself falling.

When I opened my eyes and let my eyes wander around the surroundings, that's when I realized that I am in a hospital room.

On my side lies Leo, sitting in a chair, his head on the bed, sleeping.

However, he must've felt that I am finally awake because his eyes opened up and there I saw the biggest smile I could ever see.

"Why am I here, Leo and why are you smiling like an idiot?" I asked him, raising my brow.

But Leo just sat straight, rubbed his hand on my belly and chuckled.

"We're finally having a child, Clem,"

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At last, I have finished it. Hehe.

Anyways, I am writing a romance novel, of course with stalking and murder involved.

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