BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR

ALEXIA KING

5-Kevin, Max, Noah, and Nicholas are in one team, including a boy from another subject.

6-Shally, Rick, Viviana, and Ashton in one team, including Victoria from another subject.

7-I'll arrange the rest students randomly.

Done! I smile, proud of my work.

I ignore any kind of interaction with Kevin and Victoria till I submitted my list. Well, they tried to discuss the list but I ignored them because I know, if they had asked to place them in one team then I would have had no other option than to do so.

After submitting the list to Mr. Skye, I join them in the Cafeteria with satisfaction written all over my lips.

"You look creepy" Pastry feels the need to flatter me.

"Thanks, again", I leave to place my order.

When I return, I sit down beside Noah and across Bella who is oddly silent.

"Is the list ready?" Max asks.

"Submitted" I reply before eating a mouthful of my sandwich to hide my goofy grin.

"Which team am I guiding?", Victoria asks, god knows what doing on our table.  

Kevin comes from behind me and sits beside me, munching on his cheese. My body turns rigid, remembering how he soothed me. I make an extra effort to ignore him

"Guiding? And here I thought you would be much interested in riding" I reply Victora.

Everyone snickers. Kevin coughs to hide his amusement.

"Anyway, you're guiding Shally, Rick, Viviana, and Ashton. However, I must warn you, in good faith, of course, to refrain from riding Ashton's......car. It's a marvelous and new model at that" I mock again like the bitch I'm.

Victoria seems speechless and her eyes turn to Kevin. He raises his hand in a gesture 'What can I do?'

She scoffs and nods in mock acceptance.

"I guess, I'll talk to Ashton then"

"You should" Bella adds.

Victoria leaves and we watch her leaving before I continue, "Kevin, Max, Noah, and Nicholas are in one team and Charlie Hook is guiding you. Ed, Pastry, and Bella are in my team and Michelle Lombardi is guiding us" I stop when I felt Kevin burning a hole in my head.

I look at him and my mood turns sour once I notice his glare. Is he upset because Victoria left the table?

"Suits you" I bite out in a whisper and leave hastily.

Why can't he decide what he wants? I can't be friends be with him if he is even slightly interested in Victoria.

I shriek in horror when someone drags me to the medical room but feeling his touch on my wrist, I know it's Kevin. His touch always brings me to reality like I'm drowning back in my past and he happens to pull me back. Again and again and again.

I open my mouth to speak but he shushes me with his index finger.

"Michelle Lombardi. huh?", He asks calmly but his frustration is visible in his voice.

At first, I don't realize what he is speaking. I just kept staring at his red lips, moving. I lick my lips in a daze. He is standing too close and I lean closer and brush his bottom lip with the pad of my thumb.

"If that's what you want" Saying this he closes the distance between our lips in a feverish kiss.

I kiss back with equal passion. His tongue swipes on my bottom lip and I eagerly grant him access to explore my mouth by his tongue because I'm doing the same with his. After a moment, when I have run out of breath, I tug his hair to pull back but he continues his assault on my lips. Of course, He is Kevin Emerson. Once he starts, he doesn't stop until he has his fill and steps back only when satisfied.

I feel like I'm floating. He is an immaculate kisser. I can keep kissing him my entire life and will still not be enough. His lips are so soft like velvet and intoxicating me.

After few minutes, when he is satisfied, he pulls back, and before he could create any sort of distance between us, I hug him tightly, my safe place, and my head on his chest where I can hear his rapid heartbeat. Mine is not any different in speed. But the beating sound of his heart oddly calms me down. And his hands, rubbing my back is doing wonders to my body. At this moment, I feel like everything is fine but I know this is far from reality.

"You can't keep kissing me", I speak just above a whisper but make no move to pull back.

"And why is that?", He asks in the same tone, hugging me more closely, as if I will pull back and run at the first given opportunity if it's even possible.

"We are not together", I admit to drill it in my head. 

We can never be together. Never.

"That can be arranged. Go on a date with me", Can he get any bossier?

I try to pull back but his hold is blocking my movements. I guess, he was smart to predict my actions before.

"Stay still. I like you in my arms", His words are like thunder to my ears. 

He can't speak these things. This is wrong. We are wrong.

"This is wrong, Kevin. Let me go" I say sternly but he kisses my crown and nuzzles his nose in my hair humming as if I am a child throwing a tantrum. 

"I don't care what is wrong and what is right. I like you and I know my feelings are right. A right path can lead us where nothing is left and a left path can lead us where nothing is right. So why dwell on what is wrong and right? Why not just do what we feel? And my feelings for you are way stronger and different from what we feel for our friends. What I feel for you is different and very very strong. More than liking. "

 His words render me speechless. 

"I'm not ashamed of confessing my feelings but the focal question is, are you brave enough to confess your feelings or a coward to run from it?", His question leaves me questioning myself.

Am I brave? The answer comes as clear as day. I'm a coward.

I pull back and he let me this time. He just confessed his feelings for me and a man can be vulnerable only up to an extent. He is at his limits now but it won't take him long to return to his usual self.

"The path you are walking on will lead you where nothing is left. You're wasting your time on me. I'm a mess and I wish, I could have one ounce of bravery like you but I don't ", I leave to let the words sink in his brain and I pray to Jesus for him to understand me. I can't stand and watch vulnerability in his eyes. The same eyes which I love madly.

He has to understand and step back. This time, for real