Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes One Shots

I was there, but I wasn't THERE-Chris Evans {E}

Edited
TRIGGER WARNING- talk about self-harm, abuse, and loss of a baby

"Y/N, I think we need to talk." Your fiance of two years says. You give him a worried look, pulling your sleeves down more. Pulling at your sleeves was a nervous tick you had. Your arms were so littered with self-harm scars that you made sure no one could see them. So, you always wore long sleeves, a sweatshirt, or tons of bracelets to cover all those years of cutting yourself to feel some relief.

Chris grabs your hand, making you sit down on the bed. He looks down, tears welling up in his eyes. He looks back up at you, the tears now streaming down his face. You put your hand up to his face to wipe the tears away, but she pulls your hand back, pulling back your sleeves. You pull your hand back, covering your scars once again with your sleeve. "No baby. Don't cover them. I want to see them. I want to see all the times I failed as a boyfriend. I want to see all the times that you were hurting and I didn't notice." Chris says, choking on his words.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible boyfriend." Chris says. He sobs into his hands, guilt encasing his brain.

"Chris, where is this coming from?" You ask.

"When you were asleep, I saw your arms. I knew it was my fault. I don't make enough time for you. And I'm so sorry. I was there, but I wasn't THERE. I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I've been a horrible boyfriend. Guilt has been on my mind all day. I'm so sorry." He says, tears hitting the jeans he was wearing.

"Chris, I wasn't cutting because of you. You don't realize how bad my life was without you. Sure, I cut quite a few times since I've been with you, but it has nothing to do with you baby." You say, tears rolling down your own face.

"Why did you cut so much?" He asks. You were hoping he wouldn't ask that. You look down, taking a deep breath.

"Before you, I had a boyfriend that was really abusive. He got me pregnant, but I didn't know then. He almost killed me. I went to live with my parents after I ended things with him, but found out I was pregnant. I ended up losing the baby because there was just too much damage to carry a baby. That's when I started to cut. I started to cut because I lost something that would love me more than anything else. I lost the first and last time I could bring a life into this world and I didn't even know. I went into such a depression, I cut every day, just to feel relief from the pain of losing a baby. I couldn't handle it. My parents were thinking about sending me to a rehab center, but then I met you and my life got so much better." You say. It brought tears to your eyes thinking about your baby. You smile, remembering that you had a little girl. Her name was Genevieve Rose. You loved her with everything you had. And still do.

You were brought back to the real world by Chris kissing every scar on your wrist.

"What are you doing?" You ask.

"I'm kissing every scar. I hope it will take some of the pain away. I love you. And your baby. Even if I never met it."

"Her. Her name was Genevieve Rose." You say, a smile on your face.

"Well, I love you and little Genevieve." Chris said. You pull him in, pressing your lips to his in a sweet and tender kiss.