The Act (Malec AU)

Chapter 18

When Alec came to set, he blushed every time someone looked in his direction. He was scared everyone knew. It would be so embarrassing. The fact that Magnus was a guy had nothing to do with it anymore. And he hadn't even really noticed when that had changed for him, but he loved that it had.

One thing that really bothered him, was that even though Lydia had said it was alright he had grinded against Magnus, he was positive that she wouldn't find it okay that he had gotten a blowjob from him.

And he hated himself for not stopping it. But at the same time, he really had enjoyed it and wouldn't trade it for anything.

He needed to talk to her again but this time it had to be face to face. He had to tell her that he was falling for Magnus. he just hoped he wouldn't hurt her. He loved her. He was just not in love with her. He knew that now. Because he finally knew what falling in love felt like.

He decided to text Lydia, asking her to meet him at a restaurant tonight. He wanted this conversation to be over with.

The day went by all to slow for Alec. He missed Magnus even though he was right next to him. He wanted to talk to Lydia before going any further. It was the right thing to do. And Magnus had been so understanding about it.

When the time came where he had to go see Lydia, he was a wreck.

"Magnus, what if she is going to hate me?"

Alec twisted his hands again and again.

"She won't. You are her best friend. She will understand as long as you are honest with her."

Magnus took Alec's hands and squeezed them lightly.

Alec took a deep breath and hugged Magnus before leaving for the restaurant. A hug was as far as he could go with Magnus right now, although he wanted to do so much more.

Inside the restaurant he quickly noticed Lydia. She was beautiful. He stood from a distance taking in her beautiful features before approaching her. He was afraid he would never see her again after today. He adored her. She had always been there for him and now he was going to hurt her?

He knew it was the right thing to do not just for him. She deserved better than being in a relationship with someone who was in love with someone else. He had to hurt her to set her free.

He wanted her to find someone who not just saw that she was beautiful but were attracted to her beauty. Someone that loved her more than anyone else. Someone that was more than her best friend. She deserved the world and he was not the one to give it to her. But he was the one that could send her in the right direction.

He took a deep breath and walked over to her.

"Alec!"

She hugged him tight when he reached the table.

"Oh sweetie, I've missed you so much. How are you doing?"

Alec could feel himself tearing up already. How was he supposed to do this when she seemed so happy and were smiling her beautiful loving smile?

"Are you okay?"

She placed her hand on his arm and brushed her thumb over his skin. A single tear mad it down his cheek.

"Lydia... you know I love you, but... I need to tell you something..."

"its alright Alec. You can tell me." She give his arm an encouraging squeeze.

"I'm so sorry... I really am... but I... God, I don't know how to say this..."

Alec looked down at the table, not able to say the words.

"It's okay. I understand. You deserve to be happy."

Alec looked at her in confusion.

"what?"

"Is it Magnus? please tell me its Magnus. it is so obvious how much he cares for you."

"Wait... how...?"

"Alec. You told me you liked boys when you were little. Those things don't change just because your parents want it too. I've always known. And I will always love you."

"but then why would you want to marry me?"

"because your parents were pressuring you. And I knew they would find you a woman that didn't care about your happiness. Someone who would go along with your act. Pretending not to know how miserable you were. I couldn't let that happen. I hoped I could give you the time you needed to realize who you were and what you wanted... and Im so glad you know that now."

"Lydia... you did that for me? You stayed away from finding love to help me? What if I never had found out?"

"Then I guess we would get married."

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him. Alec was speechless. Such sacrifice.

He pulled her to her feet and hugged her tight.

"I love you. You know that right?"

"I know. I love you too."

He kissed her lightly, deeply moved by her sacrifice.

"I think we should continue to be engaged. Just as long as you are making this movie. so your parents won't ruin anything for you. We can tell them later when you are ready. And you don't have to stay away from Magnus. it is only a pretend engagement. What do you think?"

"That actually sounds like a good idea. Then I can become stronger before I have to deal with them. Thank you Lydia."

They smiled at each other.

"Well the least I can do is pay for dinner. You can order anything you like. I owe you everything."

Alec hugged her once more before sitting back down.

"By the way, you never answered me... is it Magnus?"

Alec nodded while a light blush covered his face.

"That is perfect! Tell me everything!"

And Alec did. He didn't hold back anything. the more he talked about it the lighter he felt. The mask he had worn for years crumbled away and faded into oblivion. Making way for the real Alec.

Dinner took almost four hours, that just flew by. They enjoyed each other's compony so much more now that Alec had accepted who he was.