Guardian Angels ✔

79 - Insanity

For a couple of seconds Kozik could only stare at the thing. Slowly his glance glided upwards. Shane was frozen to the spot, his back against the washbasin, his hands clutched around the stone. 

"You're a girl?"

The moment those words left his lips, it felt like the room was spinning around. He could barely breath. No... this couldn't be true, right? He wasn't living with a girl for a month without noticing?!

He didn't say anything. 

Or she, apparently. 

Just stared at him, an expression of horror and fear on her face. 

And with good reason. 

"Are you fucking insane?!" he called out. 

"Without a doubt," she muttered. 

Somehow her answer calmed him down a bit. "Fuck man..." He rubbed his face, stared at the pregnancy test again and shook his head. "Is it Juice's?"

"No it's yours, I use to fuck you when you sleep."

Kozik glared at her. It wasn't a strange question; it felt like he was facing a stranger, how should he know whether she was faithful to Juice? For all he knew the fear that Juice would expose her secret could be the only reason she slept with him. She might as well lead a double life with another guy. 

Suddenly he felt tired. He tightened his grasp around his crutches and limped back to the living room. He barely reached the couch, grunting as he fell down on it. What the fuck was he supposed to do with this? He felt betrayed. Not only by her. Also by Juice, by Mila... They must have known about this. What the hell did his relationship mean when something so big was kept from him?! Mila had talked so many times about Shane's struggles of being gay, had told him that he felt like her little brother – and all this time it was a girl! And Juice... How the hell could he keep this to himself?! What was that fucker thinking?! That he could ever get away with this?!

He thought about all the good talks Shane and he had had, the countless times they had been sitting on the couch here. Should he have suspected something? Would others believe he hadn't noticed anything? He remembered his uneasiness because he was afraid that Shane had feelings for him. It had just been a mother's instinct. But why?! Did she really think nobody would ever find out? She was completely insane. What would she do now? Silence him? He touched for the knife in his pocket. He couldn't do much with it once she pointed her gun at him. He sat up straight, trying to remember where he had left his gun. He however couldn't think, again and again he saw that pregnancy test – his head spinning with all the conclusions he had drawn from it. 

"You gonna tell 'em?" Suddenly she stood next to him, about two steps away from him. 

By reflex he grabbed the hilt of the knife, so he could throw it at her in case of emergency. "You're gonna let me tell 'em?" he answered resentfully. 

"Well I can't exactly cut out your tongue and chop off your hands."

Something in her eyes told him she was perfectly capable to do such a thing. Jeez – with what kind of sociopath was he sharing a house?! How come he never saw this insane look before? 

"I'd prefer a bullet."

She lifted the corner of her mouth, but he thought it looked creepy. Man – he really had no idea how to read his roommate. 

"You're really afraid I'm going to kill you?"

"How would I know?! You're completely insane, that's all I know!"

"Don't be ridiculous. You act like I'm some bloodthirsty alien. The only difference between you and me is that I lack a dick."

Kozik could think of a mountain of other differences, but he kept his thoughts to himself. "So you're what? A transgender? A guy stuck in the body of a woman?"