Guardian Angels ✔

32 - No More Lies

Alex couldn't remember she had ever been so nervous. It was impossible to predict his response. He might feel so betrayed that he would never be able to forgive her, maybe he never wanted to see her face again. She tried to talk herself out of that fear; it would be a shock, but in the end it wouldn't change much. Not really. 

At home she emptied two glasses of whiskey before she changed clothes and walked to Juice's house, knowing she would have some drinks there too. The way in which she wanted to announce that she was a woman, was also increasing the nerves. Since the moment she had given him that lap dance, it however had been a fantasy of hers to reveal him the truth like this, and she had decided to at least live up to her own fantasy. She didn't want to throw it in his face any way. If she brought it in a playful way, he might not make such a big deal of it. 

Yeah right, Alex. He will discover that his so-called best friend doesn't exist. He'll surely make a big deal out of it, unless you get him drunk and give him the best night of his life. But then you'll have to face the problem tomorrow anyway. 

Taking a deep breath, she rang the bell. She was still wearing her cut, which she had buttoned up to hide her breasts. However, if he paid a little attention to it, he would see the difference. 

The door swung open and Juice let her in. There was still a dull look in his eyes, giving her courage. The goal of this evening was to take his guilt away and she knew for sure that was going to happen. 

"How do you feel?" she asked as they walked to the living room. There was already a joint ready on the table, and there was less booze in the bottle than yesterday. She clearly wasn't the only one needing a drink. 

Juice shrugged his shoulders. "Tired."

Not only physically, she knew. Especially mentally. 

At the porch they shared the joint, without saying much. 

"So... what is it you have to tell me?" he asked after a while, staring into the distance. "You killed a friend too?" His tone was cold. 

She had. But she couldn't explain that before she explained everything and she didn't want to add new lies to her list of falsities. "I need one more drink," she muttered. 

From the side he looked at her, his brows furrowed. 

They took that drink not much later, on the couch. It became two drinks. Alex decided that should be her limit, before the alcohol would convince her to keep the truth to herself. Juice sat slumped down next to her, his eyes closed. His face was still tensed, there were deep lines around his eyes. She turned a bit more towards him and followed one of the lines with her thumb. As soon as he felt her touch, his eyes flew open. Alex swallowed with difficulty. She stood up, sat down on his lap with knees on both sides of him, her face towards his. 

Fright reflected in his eyes. Searching, hesitating, his eyes shot to her lips. Placing a hand against his cheek, she kissed him. It didn't take long before he kissed her back, but it was less passionate than the day before and this time he was the one pulling back his face. 

"We shouldn't do this," he muttered. "Yesterday you told me you needed time to figure things out with Mila..."

"I have no feelings for Mila. At least no feelings compared to what I feel for you." She held his glance. Confusion beamed in his eyes. 

His Adam's appel bobbed as he swallowed. "You're just saying that to make me feel better after what I almost did today."

"I wanted to kiss you ever since the moment I saw you for the first time, Juice."

His eyes widened. "What?"

She bowed towards him and whispered in his ear: "Yes."

Right after that she kissed him below his ear, in his neck. She heard how his breathing became heavier, underneath her she felt how he was getting in the mood for more. When she looked back at him, there was a dashing look in his eyes. His hand glided to her neck and he pushed his lips roughly on hers. There was a wild longing in the way their lips crashed, a passion they had both suppressed for far too long. His tongue invaded her mouth, attacking hers fiercely. Greedy, she kissed him back. She sat up a little straighter on her knees so that he had to look up to her. His hands glided to her bottom and clamped around it. She bit his bottom lip, where after she pulled back a little and looked into his stormy eyes.

Again the nervousness flamed up, but she pushed through it. She ripped open the press studs of her cut and let the piece of leather slid off her arms. As she started to open the top button of her shirt, she saw his face pale. 

"I don't know if I... already want..." he stammered with wide eyes. 

If you already want sex with a man, she filled in, but she didn't speak it out loud. 

"I just wanna show you something."

Juice's eyes became even wider. "Is it your stab wound? Is that what you needed to tell me – is it infected, will you die from it?"

She chuckled, wondering where the hell that thought was coming from. "No man."

Her fingers were trembling as she unbuttoned the rest of her shirt. Juice didn't say a word. He stared at the strip of skin that she exposed. Only when she took off the shirt, he inhaled sharply. 

For a moment his eyes were glued to her breasts, then they shot back to her eyes. Incomprehension was written all over his face – but it wasn't changing into an angry grimace. Yet. It just didn't seem to land. 

She took his hands that were laying on her hips and moved them to her breasts. She just wanted to feel his touch, before that chance would pass. It was seven years ago since someone had touched her breasts and her whole body was responding.

"I... I don't get it," he stammered. Again his glance wandered downward. A bit absent minded his thumbs were pressing against her nipples, while his hands folded around her bosom. "Do you – do you have a genetic disorder?"

Alex started to laugh – a nervous laugh. He was the only one who would come up with a response like that. 

"That's a way to describe it too..." She caught his glance, he was still blocking the truth. "I'm a woman, Juice."